Silicon Valley work culture

I left a manager role, part out of my territory, part because I didn't like my boss. I got undermined on a couple of decisions, saw which way the water was flowing, decided it was time to go back. To be clear, the reporting structure changed on me and was not what it was. Now back to individual contributor, new boss (bosses) and worry that I exert sometimes too much force when I weigh in on something.

I could be a good technical manager. I either know the answer, can find the answer--or after the fact, find the fix. At least in my current job that is, to be clear, any other company, I'm a fish out of water. But as a typical manager? nope, out of my league. I hit the Peter Principal and truly found my limit--maybe I'm lucky, I was able step back with minimal loss--but it'll always look bad on my resume.
 
One thing I found about Silicon Valley’s “work culture” is that there’re not conducive to having a family. Of course they all tall a big game about “family life balance”, but their expectations are different when it all comes down to it.
It’s especially brutal on young women.
 
KrisZ said:
One thing I found about Silicon Valley’s “work culture” is that there’re not conducive to having a family. Of course they all tall a big game about “family life balance”, but their expectations are different when it all comes down to it.
It’s especially brutal on young women.
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That's tech anywhere, especially in growth companies and generally true across most industries if one wants to advance in management. A starting auditor or young associate in a law firm is also signing up for a number of grueling years...
 
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I saw that. He ripped the band aid off. He said they don’t have work life balance.

My bros does. Woman has a baby one year off with pay. Significant other 30 days. There was almost a 100% correlation between taking the one year and leaving when it expired. So I’d say 9 mos is pretty good, maybe even a win win. Ineffective workers are shed, and they get another 9 mos pay for essentially nothing.

We have 5 day RTO. But for me, it went 3 days in, to 4, to 5. My boss went from 0 to 5, as did a teammate. If I were them I’d quit. But imagine getting 9 mos pay as a parting gift.

How did they go from 0 to 5? It’s level based.

Imagine all the damage to the economy Covid did. Folks are trying to undo it. Can you believe some college kids search for remote internships? Talk about hands off starting young.

Imagine if medical or dental schools had remote residency.
 
wings&wheels said:
What's your end goal?
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Dunno about his but my career goal is to retire. All the fun tech stuff that I like--I could do at home now.

John105 said:
I saw that. He ripped the band aid off. He said they don’t have work life balance.
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Thing is, it's a startup. It's going to be crazy at a startup. Hopefully it's not this at well established companies--although there is always something to be said for working just a bit harder than your coworkers.
 
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rijndael said:
Yep, same. I plan to retire at 50, which isn't that far away.
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Nice! I'm planning on 67 mostly out of FUD, but have high hopes (might only be dreams) that I'll at least be "secure" at 60 and could coast the rest of the way. Wife has some expensive medications to take, I worry about carrying a high level of insurance until the end.
 
supton said:
Dunno about his but my career goal is to retire. All the fun tech stuff that I like--I could do at home now.


Thing is, it's a startup. It's going to be crazy at a startup. Hopefully it's not this at well established companies--although there is always something to be said for working just a bit harder than your coworkers.
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Careful what you wash for :D I finally admitted to myself I cannot retire, at least not yet...despite the hobbies.

At 60, I just worked my way out of a senior role with a startup, as planned. I am a bit bored and having trouble shutting down after 36 years of a fast treadmill. I am going mentally, intellectually stir crazy and I miss the challenges of a global business which I now realize I must have enjoyed much more than I thought at the time. I will not be back in leadership, I hope I have given my last performance evaluation or hosted staff meetings giving rah-rah messages on India and China time. Been there/done that, don't even want the t-shirt. I have a few specialties that I will consult in....in the cold weather of course!
 
KrisZ said:
One thing I found about Silicon Valley’s “work culture” is that there’re not conducive to having a family.
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Sue and I were fortunate. The salary I earned allowed us to go single income. When we had our second child Sue put her RN career on hold for several years so we could better raise our boys.
rijndael said:
Yep, same. I plan to retire at 50, which isn't that far away.
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I retired from permanent full time employment at just 52 (that was 20 years ago!!!!). I did some insanely well paid part time contract work on my own terms for two years after that, but called I called it completely quits at 54. No company pension either.

I don't recommend retiring early, especially men. And it's not about the money. Men have a tendency too isolate themselves when they're no longer in the workforce.

Scott
 
wings&wheels said:
Careful what you wash for :D I finally admitted to myself I cannot retire, at least not yet...despite the hobbies, I am a bit bored and having trouble shutting down after 36 years of a fast treadmill. I am going mentally, intellectually stir crazy and I miss the challenges of a global business which I now realize I must have enjoyed much more than I thought at the time. I will not be back in leadership, I hope I have given my last performance evaluation or hosted staff meetings giving rah-rah messages on India and China time. Been there/done that, don't even want the t-shirt. I have a few specialties that I will consult in....in the cold weather of course!
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I already stepped out of management and am finding it rather nice... it's still something to acclimate to, as I was juggling multiple projects and just working around the clock; I'm not sure what to make of, this idea of working at a more relaxed pace. Opportunity to do learning and poking my nose into projects that I could be working on--but I've been waiting for the hammer to fall. [Corporate culture where I work is a factor.]

slo town said:
I don't recommend retiring early, especially men. And it's not about the money. Men have a tendency too isolate themselves when they're no longer in the workforce.
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I already did that. For years it was work, commute, sleep. Kids complicated things but that was in there too. The pandemic removed the commute for most days, but by the end of it, I had lost most friends. I'm only just trying to figure out how to "network" and find people & things to do.
 
supton said:
I already stepped out of management and am finding it rather nice...
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I keep getting pushed upwards, and I went along with some of it to control my own path a bit better. The problem is, I didn't stop doing the old job, I just got managerial stuff added on. There's a push for me to go higher, but I'm unwilling.
 
I am fortunate to still be going strong and working at 71 years old. Here amongst the distinct Silicon Valley work culture and NorCal brand, I exist in a niche, in the nooks and crannies.

Yes, life has slowed down a bit as has my pace. But I have a goal to continue working for another ten years or so.

There will be more and more "Post Your Latest Oil Change" entries, every four months, 30k miles on HPL.

In reading others takes on early retirement, it sounds like a good idea to keep on keepin' on. My Dad worked in construction until age 82.
 
supton said:
I'm only just trying to figure out how to "network" and find people & things to do.
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It takes time but IMO, no matter what you do, you'll never be as connected with people as you were when you were working. I've been extremely fortunate to have and maintain 60+ year friendships with guys I first met in 1959, but I also had a lot of close friends from the workplace. I alway gave my personal friends priority over my workplace friends, but retirement has made me realize I underestimated the value of my work friends. Those guys and gals were more important than I thought. Take Keith for example. He and I first met in 1980 when both of us were new to the company. We worked our entire careers together. A wonderful guy!

Scott

Keith and Scott in the '80s.webp
P5290022.webp
 
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slo town said:
It takes time but IMO, no matter what you do, you'll never be as connected with people as you were when you were working. I've been extremely fortunate to have and maintain 60+ year friendships with guys I first met in 1959, but I also had a lot of close friends from the workplace. I alway gave my personal friends priority over my workplace friends, but retirement has made me realize I underestimated the value of my work friends. Those guys and gals were more important than I thought. Take Keith for example. He and I first met in 1980 when both of us were new to the company. We worked our entire careers together. A wonderful guy!

Scott

View attachment 294766View attachment 294767
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What exactly are you looking at?:LOL:

Seriously, you both appear to have aged well(y)
 
KrisZ said:
One thing I found about Silicon Valley’s “work culture” is that there’re not conducive to having a family. Of course they all tall a big game about “family life balance”, but their expectations are different when it all comes down to it.
It’s especially brutal on young women.
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That can certainly be true. But each of us is responsible for our own life. If you let work run all over you, that's on you.
 
wings&wheels said:
Seriously, you both appear to have aged well(y)
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Well, I *think* I've aged well but have been dealing with multiple melanomas and multiple squamous cell carcinomas the last couple of years. So far, so good, but that's what you get for spending decades in the sun doing long duration, ultra endurance riding on a bicycle.

But Keith....sadly he passed away January 11, 2025. Cancer of the esophagus. Keith was always mega-fit and never smoked in his life, but he had acid reflux for as long as I can remember - which they think caused his cancer.

Scott
 
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Thank you @wings&wheels, @DirectRejection, and @slo town, and to a lesser extent @supton (fellow pre-retiree in-learning like me).

I wonder how many here are thinking "are you guys nuts? We LIVE/EXIST for the day of retirement" (maybe missing life during the journey?).

Turning 70 this coming March, I am actively managing my road to retirement and beyond, taking in the information these fine gentlemen are sharing. Even the bad stuff: "But Keith....sadly he passed away January 11, 2025. Cancer of the esophagus." Reason to retire early? - NO! I've stated in other threads - I'm attempting "living in today", reasonably "to the fullest", and especially with no/few regrets, no matter the outcome. Carpe diem!

In my late 30's I did cognitive therapy to overcome the mid-life work/life crises. At this life stage one should be well on the way to nirvana, but life throws many road blocks and curves. In my 50's I studied/learned mindfulness techniques. Just recently I learned about Maslow's hierarchy of needs (Google it) and that I am doing o.k. at/near the top Self Actualization level. But wait!, I also learned about the ultimate level - self transcendence. (Again, Google it). LOL, yes I am a lunatic, but I'm currently content in my shoes and the wisdom of old(er) age is both exciting and comforting. Hopefully, sharing our wisdom will assist others.
 
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