Most anyone's auto trans will last 100,000m or so with minimal care.
Consider that clutch plate facings are .010"-.015" when new, and still have some left after countless part and full throtle shifts. There is hardly any wear on them [being in oil], with a no load shift in or out of gear at a stop. You just couldn't measure it.
Consider also that when in gear with the brakes on, you are converting about 5mph or so of energy into heating the fluid, breaking it down, and causing ultimate wear.
So, it won't matter much either way, but if your engine has an objectionable vibration when in gear, it won't hurt to take it out of gear at a light. If you are going to sit longer than a 1/2 minute or so, you can take it out of gear, as well, and let things cool a bit.