Today I got my surprise. I found that our beloved HR lady has taken an early leave of absence. This may have to do with her retirement strategy which, as I also found out today, involves threatening to sue or suing the company for discrimination and bullying. It's ironic because her long-term presence as a social justice warrior has caused Xanax sales to triple among the staff. I'm sure the company will settle for a ludicrous amount of money to make all this and her go away. I'm just glad I am her favorite. I'm the one who's been saying comparatively nice things about her! No, I do not know specifics, I don't want to know specifics, and even if I were to know specifics, I can't talk about it. All I know is her poodles will make out like bandits. What about my cats? They have financial needs if papa has a heart attack!