The ol priest at the Church in Notredame was getting worried!
Quasimodo, after years of flitting around the bellfry, jumping from one bell to another to get them to swing and ring out a tune - seemed to have developed a bit of a "nervous twitch"!
Ever aware of the new Occ Health & Safety Laws and the stiff penatlys for unsafe working environments levied against employers - he figuired Quasi was becomming a bit of a risk to himself. What if he lept onto a bell and twitched at the wrong moment - he might fall off and injure himself or worse land on a parishoner and injure them as well, heavens forbid!!
So the decision was made after more than 20 years flitting round the bellfry to send old Quasi off on a couple weeks "stress relief" holidays!
First tho - they would need a replacement bellringer!
So up on the church noticeboard goes the poster "relief bellringer wanted"!
Next day theres this banging at the rectory door, so the priest goes and opens the door to find the two thalidomide twins standing there, unfortunate victims of a period in history when the dangers of Thalidomide weren't well known - & they just happened to be born with out any arms.
Totally 'armless the pair of them!
The priest says - was that you 2 knocking on my door?
"Yeah that was us" says the twins - "we banged our foreheads against the door in turns, to get that knocking noise - we've come to see about the relief bell ringers job for two weeks - can we try out for the job please?".
Worried about offending the disabled pair and well aware of the new 'anti-discrimination in the workplace' laws, the priest decides he has to at least let them try out for the job - even if they can't do it - otherwise they might lay a complaint with the discrimination commissioner and the fines are huge.
So he invites them in and leads this armless pair up to the bellfry, and lets em at it with the bells!
Well the twins put on a heck of a show - head butting the bells with their forehads alternately in unison and in turns - ringing out the well known tune - 'the bells of saint clements', without a fault! The townsfolks are pleasently entertained with this impromptue musical performance of the church bells with such a lively tune midweek and come out and clap the pair at the end of the perfomance with a standing ovation up and down the street!
"Well - if the townsfolks all like it so much - what can it hurt" says the priest "it's only for 2 weeks - you have the job, between the pair of you - be here at 7.30 - Sunday Morning to ring the bells".
Well Sunday dawns fine and bright - the two Thalidomide twins are up in the bellfry about to start their bellringing just as Ol Quasimodo, is limping off down to the train station past the church - carrying his two travel bags to set off on holiday.
As fate would have it, the bells are chiming out the ever popular "Bells of St Clements" as the twins are into it head butting in unison and alternatley in turn on all the different bells to get the right order of notes to play the tune...
One of the twins however mis times his head butt on a wildly swinging bell and misses the bell completely, stumbles forward with the momentum - and not having any arms to stop himself - hits the railing surrounding the bellfy, which knocks his legs clean out from under him - & he does a complete swan dive from the bellfry down to the street below with the full asphalt face plant etc..
His brother sees this terrible tragedy unfolding in front of his eyes and at that exact same instant he rushes forward to try and prevent his brother from falling - however - he happens to trip on a old floorboard thats come un-nailed at one end and is now loose, sticking up!
He too now has such momentum - that, almost at the same instant as his brother, - he hits the railings - and with no arms to stop him - his legs are taken out from under him also - and he too flys out into empty space completing a perfect one and a half pike with full twist dive and does the full asphalt face plant, just like his armless brother before him!
This all transpires - right in front of the local Gendarme walking his beat, who rushes over to the two dead bodies - just as Quasimodo is limping past on his way to the train station...dragging, his two heavey travel bags!
Rolling the first dead body over to indentify the poor sod - he looks up and asks Quasimodo "Hey Quaso - you got any idea who this feller is?"...
"No", says Quasi, "but gee his face sure rings a bell"
Rolling the second guy over - the Gendarme asks Quasi again - "well what about this feller then, do you know who he might be"?
Again, Quasi says thoughtfully:-
"No - but he sure is a dead ringer for his brother"!
Cheers!
