Until the local independent small grocery store burned down Old Coot worked there in the small delicatessan on weekends and some evenings when done substitute teaching.
Coot cringed when the sheep bleated out they wanted their vittles sliced thin.
"Thinner!!!!" "Thinner!!!!!" Darnation, people, the dern stuff can only be sliced so thin!!!!
Meats, cheeses, some of them the type with various goodies added such as peppers, onion, various seeds, a plethora of dried up cow milk, solifified into blocks of cheese.
Coot's arm wearied..... shoving the slicing device back and forth a multitude of times, almost endlesly, to convert a pound of solid block cheese into a multitude of THIN slices.
Very time consuming.
Out of curiosity, Coot began questioning the sheep. Asked about the types of cheese and meats the consumers preferred, type of bread used, etc. Nestled among the questions was...... how many slices do you put on a sandwhich? Saved this question for those wanting THIN slices.
Cheese was often particularly hard to slice THIN, THINNER!!!! and each piece had to be separated by a piece of paper. The sheep universally spewed that they used several slices of the THIN, THINNER!!!! cheese slices on a sandwhich.
Sigh.....
Why not just have the dern stuff sliced to the thickness used on one sandwhich? Or, at most, half that size to allow overlapping of slices if wanted?
Coot received the impression buyers obtained some sense of increased product satisfaction when a fat old guy had to exert immense time and effort to give the droids their THIN!!!!! THINNER!!!!!!!!!!! meat and cheese goodies.
BAH!!!!!!!!!!
Coot IS crotchety and often lambasted the THIN THINNER!!!! crowd. Teased them to the edge of ridicule. Did so in a way that most were unaware of their being ridiculed, though the chaps in the meat department next door would chuckle quietly.
One old bat understood what I was doing and lambasted back, in a surly old bat sort of way.
As I handed old bat her stuff I proclaimed it must really suck to be her!!!!!
Manager appeared awhile later, asking what the heck I told the customer. Told him..... "It must really suck to be you."
Manager aghast, speechless, walked away and never mentioned it again.
Great fun!!!!!!
We had GREAT fried chicken, though. Best I ever tasted. Mine was best, I cooked it 2 minutes longer than directions called for. Mine always sold out.
Coot took out-dated frozen cookie dough destined for the trash bin and cooked 'em up, distributed to customers gratis. Not too old, still good. Crowds loved Coot. Except those wanting THIN THINNER!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
