Passion in Relationships

[grampi]

I have found after 30 years of marriage to my wife that passion slowly gets replaced by just being comfortable knowing this person is part of your life. I'm good with that. It would be nice if you could keep the same hot, passionate attraction you had when you first met, but that's rare, and completely normal...

 

[Papa Bear]

LOVE is a verb

(Mama Bear and I have been together since 1962)

 

[N3OO]

I'm 66 yrs of age, been happily married for 45 yrs, and everything still works.....wink.

 

[ZeeOSix]

Originally Posted By: Virtus_Probi
Originally Posted By: Inspecktor
Maybe it's the lutefisk.....


Hey, if you can eat lutefisk, you can surely "eat" anything else that might come to mind!! ;^)


I think I'd rather 'eat anything else' before lutefisk.

 

[Al]

Originally Posted By: andrewg
I would be lying if I didn't say that as a man, the thought of different females in the "hay" didn't enter into my mind now and then. But with my partner...the closeness...the loyalty we have...our common interests...no way would I ruin all that for some new experience in bed.
Not worth it.

Exactly..as a 69 y.o. I would trade my wife in for 2 hours to roll in the hay with the likes Gisele Bunchen..well..I could be temped to shoot lower...a lot lower lol.

 

[javacontour]

Amen!

For those thinking love is a feeling don't really understand love.

Originally Posted By: Papa Bear
LOVE is a verb

(Mama Bear and I have been together since 1962)

 

[skyactiv]

My wife and I have our best "passion" after exercising together. She's an avid cyclist and gets aroused after riding and so do I. Maybe exercise turns people on?

 

[crazyoildude]

Try something new and hope she goes along with it..

 

[Leo99]

I think all those good things are the by-product of communication and hard work by both parties in the relationship. My wife and I are both on our second marriages. Our first spouses were horrible people. Now, that we have each other, we know how good we have it and we cherish it. Passion isn't just in the bedroom but being in tune with the other person and thinking about them.

After 13 years, I'm still amazed how beautiful my wife is and that I get to sleep with her.

 

[xfactor9]

So most people agree that passion is important. But what does it take to keep the passion going? Well, it's all about effort. If both sides don't continue to put in the effort like they did in the beginning, the passion fades. That's when the relationship gets too comfortable, too mundane, and one's eyes begin to stray in the hopes of finding that initial passion again (albeit with someone else). People come up with excuses like being busy, but "I'm too busy" is just a synonym for "I don't really feel like it"

 

[Al]

Originally Posted By: xfactor9
So most people agree that passion is important. But what does it take to keep the passion going? Well, it's all about effort. If both sides don't continue to put in the effort like they did in the beginning, the passion fades. That's when the relationship gets too comfortable, too mundane, and one's eyes begin to stray in the hopes of finding that initial passion again (albeit with someone else). People come up with excuses like being busy, but "I'm too busy" is just a synonym for "I don't really feel like it"



Sounds good on paper..not so much after 47 years..lol.
Not disagreeing.

 

[andrewg]

Originally Posted By: Al
Originally Posted By: xfactor9
So most people agree that passion is important. But what does it take to keep the passion going? Well, it's all about effort. If both sides don't continue to put in the effort like they did in the beginning, the passion fades. That's when the relationship gets too comfortable, too mundane, and one's eyes begin to stray in the hopes of finding that initial passion again (albeit with someone else). People come up with excuses like being busy, but "I'm too busy" is just a synonym for "I don't really feel like it"



Sounds good on paper..not so much after 47 years..lol.
Not disagreeing.


Yep...it SOUNDS nice and reasonable in some ways...but passion doesn't work that way just because you give something "effort". It's not something that can be forced or pulled out of a person. A couple having a lack of physical passion has really zero to do with effort in my opinion. At least not in my circumstance.
I'd die for my woman without even thinking about it. I know she would do the same for me.
That's all the passion we need.

 

[Pop_Rivit]

I can't imagine getting so old that the real passion is gone from a marriage. I'd never let that happen, and neither would my wife. Some of you need some serious help.

Originally Posted By: ARCOgraphite
No boom-boom after 55. Fact of Life - designed that way, and my father never told me.
So ....

That's why there's BITOG and lots of angst

That's just sickening-and no, it's not designed that way.

Originally Posted By: Dyusik
Commitment - yes. The rest is a joke. Pick a mate like you pick a car, make sure it doesn't go [censored] up until 300k. No rust, no funny noises, handles good, doesn't magically turn into a minivan -- close enough.


What a sorry, pathetic outlook.

 

[andrewg]

Originally Posted By: Pop_Rivit
I can't imagine getting so old that the real passion is gone from a marriage. I'd never let that happen, and neither would my wife. Some of you need some serious help.

Originally Posted By: ARCOgraphite
No boom-boom after 55. Fact of Life - designed that way, and my father never told me.
So ....

That's why there's BITOG and lots of angst

That's just sickening-and no, it's not designed that way.

Originally Posted By: Dyusik
Commitment - yes. The rest is a joke. Pick a mate like you pick a car, make sure it doesn't go [censored] up until 300k. No rust, no funny noises, handles good, doesn't magically turn into a minivan -- close enough.


What a sorry, pathetic outlook.


Why is it sad or pathetic what another couple mutually agrees to in a loving relationship?

You should do some research on the topic. I'm not trying to be rude or anything, but really...lots of older couples don't have the sexual level of passion they once had. Some don't even have those relations at all anymore...and are very much committed and deeply in love.

People are all different. Some don't have the desire for being physically passionate anymore....and that's perfectly normal for many couples. It has nothing to do with having a wonderful relationship.

 

[DoubleWasp]

Originally Posted By: hansj3
It seems that some of the Hollywood is true, the scenes with the 30 something kids walking in on the mom and dad, and realizing that they have a more vibrant sex life.that seems to be more true than not, however there are relationships without much passion, just ask the Norwegians


I'd be happy to pick up the loose ends.

 

[Al]

Originally Posted By: Pop_Rivit
I can't imagine getting so old that the real passion is gone from a marriage. I'd never let that happen, and neither would my wife. Some of you need some serious help.

How long have you been married?

But in either case I am glad that this aspect of your life is going well. As Andrew indicated..different modes of operation for different couples.

 

[grampi]

Originally Posted By: Al
Originally Posted By: andrewg
I would be lying if I didn't say that as a man, the thought of different females in the "hay" didn't enter into my mind now and then. But with my partner...the closeness...the loyalty we have...our common interests...no way would I ruin all that for some new experience in bed.
Not worth it.

Exactly..as a 69 y.o. I would trade my wife in for 2 hours to roll in the hay with the likes Gisele Bunchen..well..I could be temped to shoot lower...a lot lower lol.


She is the least attractive of all the VS models...if I'm gonna shoot for somebody that's way outta my league, it's gonna be for one of the better looking ones...

 

[grampi]

Originally Posted By: Al
Originally Posted By: Pop_Rivit
I can't imagine getting so old that the real passion is gone from a marriage. I'd never let that happen, and neither would my wife. Some of you need some serious help.

How long have you been married?

But in either case I am glad that this aspect of your life is going well. As Andrew indicated..different modes of operation for different couples.


Pop Rivet sounds like a newly wed, but if he isn't, more power to him!

 

[dnewton3]

What is passion? Like about every other answer here and in life, it depends ...

Love is a four letter word.

Is is the interpretation of that word that makes the world go 'round.

That word (and it's variants) can be used in many ways:
CAUTION - I didn't major in grammar in school, so cut me some slack and correctly me gently, please, if I am in error here ...
Noun - I have a long-running love of bourbon and cigars. Or ... Gimme some love, honey.
Verb - I would enjoy loving her tonight.
Adjective - That is a lovely dress.
Adverb - She lovingly cared for his wounds.

That four letter word is one of the most over-used, yet under-appreciated in the concept of language.

That four letter word morphs into many other forms under the pretense of other words. Hence we have the words such as passion, lust, hatred, denial, desire, want, and even complacency, just to name a few.

Or .... you could state the inverse in that is it passion that masquerades into love, and it's variants. To me they are all conceptual definitions of emotional description.


Does passion fade? Ehhhhh ... maybe. Or maybe it just evolves as it matures, or devolves and withers, with time.

 

[Mr Nice]

What about the people in a 'love less' marriage and stay married for 25+ years ?

There was a study (I will look for it) that asked 1000 women if they married the right guy.
40% said he was not the right guy but got married due to the cultural pressure of having a family, 2.2 kids, mini van, little league soccer / baseball games, Facebook family vacation photos, ....etc....

Ever ask a 40 year old woman how are her kids doing if she doesn't have any kids...... ?