life was more fun when I was younger.

[spasm3]

Went on a date with a girl and it was the first thing she mentioned and even said I lied to her about my height. Almost turned around and took her right back to her house.

I get it, even if she is not the one, and i agree that did not start off well. Go ahead and treat her with class and have the date, remember she may have friends!

 

[SC Maintenance]

I've heard the song. I pretty much have all the traits women hate. Introverted, short, skinny. 5'5" is my height which is the same height as most women. Doesn't bother me any, but they sure make a big deal out of it. Went on a date with a girl and it was the first thing she mentioned and even said I lied to her about my height. Almost turned around and took her right back to her house.

Friend of mine was divorced a while so signed up for one of those online dating things. Said he just wanted to meet some people. I believed him.

Put in he made $40K a year. He likely made 5X more. the dating app said "you have zero matches in your area". Changed income to what he actually made. Said "you have 10,000 matches in your area.

 

[slo town]

Well I think 40 is when a guy hits the wall if he just sits at a desk all week long 50hrs a week. No way he'll be in shape. I kind of feel bad for dome of these people who sit behind a computer all day. Then what are you going to do? Hit the gym when you get home??....yeah right lol

I did that and more. 50+ hours a week was my norm - and all sitting behind a keyboard.

I was married with two kids, had a nice home and yard I maintained myself, had a three car fleet that I maintained myself (including a V12 Jaguar E-type), had good friends I saw on a frequent basis, and I rode my fleet of road bicycles 250+ miles per week 8 or 9 months out of the year.

If all I did was work 50 hours a week and hit the gym after work I'm not sure what I would have done with all my free time.

Scott

 

[The motor guy]

I get it, even if she is not the one, and i agree that did not start off well. Go ahead and treat her with class and have the date, remember she may have friends!

I don't ever recall just being friends after a date didn't work out. They don't want that.

 

[slo town]

I’ve had women approach me at supermarket, say hello and start up a conversation.

You can do the same….

Me too.

Also, I always strike up a quick convo with women at the grocery store, sometimes doing something so simple as reaching for a carton of the same yogurt. A very simple one too - "How's your day going so far?".

Been married 48 years and never wore a wedding ring. I'm not looking for "it" but the woman I asked that question two days ago in the check out line - I have very high confidence she would have given me her phone number had I asked.

This thread is too long for me to go back through and check, but I have a basic question. What do you do in your free time when you're alone by yourself?

If you're sitting around doing nothing, that's your problem. Put yourself out there. Enroll in a class at your local community college (in something YOU are interested in, not something that you think will get you "results"). Volunteer for the SPCA. Go to church. Do something, anything.

If you do nothing for fun, that means you're not fun. Who is going to want friends like that?

Sorry to be so blunt,

Scott

PS Forget the bar scene. That never worked out for me, aside from getting a buzz.

 

[Pew]

Well I think 40 is when a guy hits the wall if he just sits at a desk all week long 50hrs a week. No way he'll be in shape. I kind of feel bad for dome of these people who sit behind a computer all day. Then what are you going to do? Hit the gym when you get home??....yeah right lol

Literally what I did before lol. Come home by 6, straight to the gym, back home by 8-9pm. Rinse and repeat - just gotta do it enough to make it a habit.

I've heard the song. I pretty much have all the traits women hate. Introverted, short, skinny. 5'5" is my height which is the same height as most women. Doesn't bother me any, but they sure make a big deal out of it. Went on a date with a girl and it was the first thing she mentioned and even said I lied to her about my height. Almost turned around and took her right back to her house.

You think it's the traits that women hate because society has sensationalized the "perfect" male and female since the dawn of humanity. The worst thing imo for someone to do when dating is trying to pick out categories like they're a filter on an online dating site.

Having your own place, a good stable job, car, etc is all good but if you think these are going to get you somebody then that's incredibly shallow - nobody wants to be around someone shallow like that.

I'm a few years younger than you but there was a time where I was like you, skinny (runner), intro, and only average height. I thought having my own place, nice car, and stable job will net me someone easily. Man was I wrong....after a life-changing event, something snapped in me to a similar tune of "**** it" and I started becoming way more outgoing and talking to anybody as if we been friends for awhile. That confidence has boosted me to new heights all around.

 

[CourierDriver]

this will releave your worry

 

[The motor guy]

Literally what I did before lol. Come home by 6, straight to the gym, back home by 8-9pm. Rinse and repeat - just gotta do it enough to make it a habit.



You think it's the traits that women hate because society has sensationalized the "perfect" male and female since the dawn of humanity. The worst thing imo for someone to do when dating is trying to pick out categories like they're a filter on an online dating site.

Having your own place, a good stable job, car, etc is all good but if you think these are going to get you somebody then that's incredibly shallow - nobody wants to be around someone shallow like that.

I'm a few years younger than you but there was a time where I was like you, skinny (runner), intro, and only average height. I thought having my own place, nice car, and stable job will net me someone easily. Man was I wrong....after a life-changing event, something snapped in me to a similar tune of "**** it" and I started becoming way more outgoing and talking to anybody as if we been friends for awhile.

Yep, just like that girl at the boat ramp that I blew the opportunity with. Could have maybe gone fishing together or something. I was just making general chit chat with her for the sake of conversation, wasn't even trying to hit on her.

 

[CourierDriver]

 

[Pew]

Yep, just like that girl at the boat ramp that I blew the opportunity with. Could have maybe gone fishing together or something. I was just making general chit chat with her for the sake of conversation, wasn't even trying to hit on her.

Exactly! Just like that, women and vise versa, want to see how you are in a normal, every-day, situation; especially with carrying a conversation. So more of that, especially the not-trying-to-hit-on-her, and they will appreciate experiences like that more.

 

[Dave Hess]

Friend of mine was divorced a while so signed up for one of those online dating things. Said he just wanted to meet some people. I believed him.

Put in he made $40K a year. He likely made 5X more. the dating app said "you have zero matches in your area". Changed income to what he actually made. Said "you have 10,000 matches in your area.

I know 3 men that found a nice woman through online dating website and eventually get married.

———————————

I also know another guy that listed Healthcare as his occupation online dating website profile and many women assumed he was a doctor.

He was an X-ray tech at a hospital and 100% of the women were disappointed to find out he wasn’t cream of the crop. I told him to keep looking and change his profile to X-ray tech.

 

[The motor guy]

I know 3 men that found a nice woman through online dating website and eventually get married.

———————————

I also know another guy that listed Healthcare as his occupation online dating website profile and many women assumed he was a doctor.

He was an X-ray tech at a hospital and 100% of the women were disappointed to find out he wasn’t cream of the crop. I told him to keep looking and change his profile to X-ray tech.

That's what happened to me. They all thought I owned some huge business and sat behind a desk all day with my feet up while a bunch of workers did everything I found the only ones who didn't seem to care what I did were in their early twenties to mid twenties. They could have asked if I was a solo owner/operator before going on a date to save me the hassle. What's wrong with an x-ray tech? Don't. They make like 100k/year?

 

[Dave Hess]

That's what happened to me. They all thought I owned some huge business and sat behind a desk all day with my feet up while a bunch of workers did everything I found the only ones who didn't seem to care what I did were in their early twenties to mid twenties. They could have asked if I was a solo owner/operator before going on a date to save me the hassle. What's wrong with an x-ray tech? Don't. They make like 100k/year?

Yes, they can make $100K but these women wanted a guy making $300K minimum.

 

[The motor guy]

Yes, they can make $100K but these women wanted a guy making $300K minimum.

Oh please, who wants that? The $300k guy only makes like $150k after taxes anyways.

 

[02SE]

Typical female response. Totally dodging the original question

Sorry, she confirmed that the only reason she married me was because of Motorcycles...

 

[supton]

Go for a hike, take a ski or snowboard lesson, shoot some guns, play some video games, whatever. What kind of trouble did you want to get into when you were 12? Go do that. Call a buddy, drink a case of beer, and put firecrackers in fruit? (try to keep all your fingers!)

I didn't do much when I was 12, and I think the wife might take umbrage if I acted like I was 17 again (aka "living at the girlfriends house").

Didn't do much when I was younger, and even less now. Cost too much then, and it's only worse now.

Spring will be here soon enough. I always say I'll take up hiking in the fall, but I'm too cheap to buy good hiking shoes (used to have some decent sneakers that did well enough). But once it warms up, I can take the bike out, and that's good enough.

 

[John105]

I think that life changed big time when there was suddenly a computer aka smartphone in everyone's pockets.

Life to me was very genuine in the past, unlike today. For one, the interaction between people, especially the opposite sexes. People didn't take offense to everything. Real life example. I moved over to kiss this girl Sandra, and she told me, "XXXXX, we're friends!" That meant my attempt was thwarted. Today, I'd be in jail. How does that make any sense? I've seen the movies set in the 40's and 50's. How about that famous Times Sq. pic with the sailor?

Kids, we played outside until the sun went down and we were called home. People were more sociable. Yep, life was fun. The end

 

[LowMilesLesabre]

In spite of attempts throughout the ages to come up with a formula for finding love or the “perfect“mate, much of the turns in our life paths are not predictable, but you do the best you can. I am often reminded of this iconic scene which holds quite a lot of wisdom for many of life‘s questions.

 

[2002 Maxima SE]

Well I think 40 is when a guy hits the wall if he just sits at a desk all week long 50hrs a week. No way he'll be in shape. I kind of feel bad for dome of these people who sit behind a computer all day. Then what are you going to do? Hit the gym when you get home??....yeah right lol

That happened to me. I'm late 40s but always had a good metabolism. I'm very active with work around the house, hiking and biking but about 5 years ago it caught up with me and I was 30 pds over my normal weight. 1 year ago I started hitting the gym at lunch and went full keto. Dropped the 30 pds in a few months and have kept it off. A side effect was the day to day feels better getting that workout in.

I've worked in IT my whole career. Met my wife while working my second job out of college while living in Pa at a church singles group. Random, she didn't go to the church, it was at her neighbors house. That's how life works, when you're not even looking.

 

[Dave Hess]

I remember seeing in 1979 a real estate listings book showing properties and 1st and 2nd mortgages, with their interest rates.
It was a real eye-opener how many people were living a phoney lifestyle. By phoney I mean they were a couple of paychecks away from default at best. They had the home, the cars in the driveway, maybe a boat.

About having money, what it really buys is the ability to see further into the future. Back when I was a broke college student I had to make a weekly decision between laundry, gas, food, and electricity. 1 hour walk each way if I couldn’t pay for gas, and cold during the winter. Sometimes I did laundry only to find out some Adam Henry washed their dog’s mat in the machine, and my stuff was covered with dog hair and I had to wash it again. I couldn’t see much past 1 week back then.

Tough times made you smarter, wiser with money and more disciplined with your budget.

I was the same way when I was younger. On pay day I filled up my gas tank hoping it would last till the following week.