Lack of motivation

[PandaBear]

Thanks for all the motivation guys. I'll keep this short and probably start staying away for a while (may be allowing myself to visit once a day). Regarding to some of the questions you guys asked:

1) Goal in life: I really wanted to start a tech company, software / system / consulting / etc and make it big. I had some crazy dream in college when I "decided" that the number I want to reach when I retire is 40 million.

2) What would the degree do really: nothing. My career is already past the point that I need a degree to proof myself. I have recruiters emailing me on a monthly basis and I'm going down a slightly different career path (software / firmware rather than DSP / control system) when I started, and based on the advices from the more senior engineers I know, it was a wise move. It is really more of a mental relieve to finish it and have a paper to hang on the wall.

3) Mental / Physical health: I am indeed in fatigue / stress. I loses quite a bit of weight and hair in the last 2 years, and this job I started last year added significantly responsibility in my time off from work (call from boss, deadline, etc). The biggest fear I have is actually I never recover from depression. It stroke me when I was in highschool and in college, and my grades drop from 4.0 to 2.7 for a whole year. You can say that my biggest fear is the fear of failure itself.

4) Financially, I'm doing well. My own salary can support both my wife and I, but my wife wanted to work rather than stay home. I can hire a help, but I'm sort of a control freak that I don't like others touching my stuff. Plus, I'm very frugal / cheap.

 

[97tbird]

I have a feeling i am very much (or was) like you when I was finishing pharmacy school, although i didn't have the stress levels that you have. you ARE already strong to go through all that.

See about counseling - almost all schools have some sort of counseling for situations like this..although it sounds tacky, believe me, it helps. and talk to the family doc - talk about your depression - medication DOES help - it did help me at a very stressful time period. Talk to friends and family - even if they can't help directly or immediately - just knowing that others share your thoughts can sometimes help a LOT.

Panda - you have GOT to finish the degree - you have already put in so much work - Just do enough to pass the project. At least your financial situation is ok - you've just got to get that last big "push" of strength to finish the project, and then you're DONE. Even if you think that the degree is not that important, SYMBOLICALLY and OFFICIALLY, having that paper can make a big impression when you are finishing your resume or CV and applying for a job.

More than anything, no one will ever say "oh so you didn't finish the degree, huh?" in an interview if it comes up. That can give a bad impression - it's the principle of finishing the job/degree that sometimes makes an impression, NOT the actual degree itself...just for THAT reason, to show that you can finish what you started, and you're not the giving up (quitter) type, i think it's imp. that you finish it. Otherwise, it WILL follow you every time you apply for a job.

I know how hard it is to sit at the PC and just THINK how much you still have to do, but ONCE you start, believe me, you will see that it's a lot easier...just STARTING is the very hard part - try to come off the internet (make a time table and tell yourself that you won't get online for non-school stuff unless it's the allocated time of the day for that stuff)

 

[greenaccord02]

97tbird is right. Most schools have a no-cost counselor for students and you should avail yourself of it. They see A LOT of this kind of thing and can help you work it out. A change in perspective may be all you need to reduce your stress. My wife had a similar situation when she was in school and all she needed was to put things into a new perspective that she couldn't see by herself. Her school's counselor helped her a lot.

 

[Audi Junkie]

I hope things work out for you.

 

[eljefino]

I know a couple people who did all-but-thesis and kind of thumped along.

Random thought, is there an online college that will accept your credits and let you finish there even if those credits are beyond 7 years old?

Are you a perfectionist, 4.0 GPA? Get in, cut some corners, and grind out a C- on your final project. You don't have to be proud of it; the degree will cover instead.

I've been faced with a "this is worse than it looks" experience doing car/house repair, and when others give up I MacGyver something together that seems to actually work, but is ugly and rednecky! Take this same approach to your class work; don't let it dominate you; force it into a time slot of the week. Not knowing your dynamics of you and your wife or how sick she is, she should be willing or offering to cope for the limited time needed to get this done.

 

[The Critic]

Just get it done, man. It's just another hump in the road, as they'd say.

Originally Posted By: Pop_Rivit
You're right-you need a swift kick in the posterior to get motivated.


I can over to his house and do that...

 

[mlomker]

PandaBear, I was in this exact same position last year. I'm in the IT/Networking field and didn't need a masters degree. I was the classic overachiever that had a lot of certification and wanted to collect a graduate degree as well.

Long story short is that I totally burned out on the field. After all the industry certs, 8 years on the bachelors, and another 7 years on a masters. I basically haven't had a life...compared to most people. I found that I didn't have any real friends and hated my work and school.

Bottom line? I didn't do it. I do regret it but at 39yrs old I learned long ago that anything that I'm not passionate about isn't worth doing. I believe that this ultimately will work out for the best.

Regardless of your choice, godspeed.

-Michael

 

[Cujet]

Originally Posted By: Cujet
Also, understand that it's not at all about the money with me. I want to be capable. I can build things, I can engineer things, I can understand anything (within reason) that I desire. That's were (where) it's at!

The money simply makes things possible.


See what happens? 18.5 years of education and I still needlessly misspell words. Dunno how I did that? Brain fail.

 

[PandaBear]

Talking about it helps. After my ranting I've spend less time online (although still too much). I've also reminded myself that now I need to pay more attention to time and energy wasted, no matter how little it seems.

Ate more, because I needed the energy and I was losing weight. 1 extra glass of milk and a granola bar in the morning, 1 extra cup of OJ in the afternoon, 1 extra slice of meat for dinner, my body has never felt so good (I have a tendency of under eat when I'm stressed).

Force myself to sleep at 12am rather than dragging on till 2am and achieve nothing. Extra sleep made me feel much better in the morning and I could think better at work and at school.

Force myself to go to school and be around students that are studying. Not much of a difference in productivity yet, but reminded me that I have to finish this project.

So far it is going the right direction. =)

 

[unDummy]

What amazes me is how we want and expect. The littlest struggle and we chicken out and quit.

Don't quit. I bet you'll have free time if you quit the internet. Why is youtube, bitog, facebook, wikipedia, World of Warcraft, Everquest.... such a priority anyway? And, if you have a DVR, cable or satellite, get rid of them too.

Don't take a pill. That a lame excuse for not being able to cope with challenges. Over prescribed society! A pill for everything isn't a fix for anything.

And you're glad you don't have kids? Guess what, they require 24/7 attention. And, you won't get any sleep for a couple years while you're feeding/changing them throughout the night. You won't have a free weekend or vacation as the kids will be with you until they're 18.

You have a career. I think you have it easy and you just don't see it.

Suck it up. Here's my therapist. He'll help you!
http://youtu.be/uaFy0x_Uixo

I believe that too many are brainwashed by the "American Dream" and "Keeping up with the Joneses". Live your OWN DREAM and to #&^# with the neighbors.

And, if your workmen's comp dock says that your wife is permanently disabled, why is she still working? Kids weigh more than 5lbs. Don't have any.

BTW, I massage my lady more than 30 minutes a day. I have to trade massage minutes for kitchen minutes. I wouldn't call that massaging a struggle. Its a great way for the 2 of you to get away from the rat race.

I'll have all the time off to sleep, and all that free time that I deserve, when I'm dead. Until then, I'll give it 110% until I'm not able to.

 

[CivicFan]

Originally Posted By: PandaBear
Talking about it helps. After my ranting I've spend less time online (although still too much). I've also reminded myself that now I need to pay more attention to time and energy wasted, no matter how little it seems.

Ate more, because I needed the energy and I was losing weight. 1 extra glass of milk and a granola bar in the morning, 1 extra cup of OJ in the afternoon, 1 extra slice of meat for dinner, my body has never felt so good (I have a tendency of under eat when I'm stressed).

Force myself to sleep at 12am rather than dragging on till 2am and achieve nothing. Extra sleep made me feel much better in the morning and I could think better at work and at school.

Force myself to go to school and be around students that are studying. Not much of a difference in productivity yet, but reminded me that I have to finish this project.

So far it is going the right direction. =)


It's nice to hear that talking about it has helped. Sometimes we all need a little positive reinforcement.