Kitty Green

[aws]

An Irishman went to Confession in St. Patrick's Catholic Church.

'Father', he confessed, 'it has been one month since my last confession. I had sex with Kitty Green twice last month.'

The priest told the sinner, 'You are forgiven. Go out and say three Hail Mary's.'

Soon thereafter, another Irish man entered the confessional. 'Father, it has been two months since my last confession. I've had sex with Kitty Green twice a week for the past two months.'

This time, the priest questioned, 'Who is this Kitty Green?'

'A new woman in the neighbourhood,' the sinner replied.

'Very well,' sighed the priest.. Go and say ten Hail Mary's.

At mass the next Christmas morning, as the priest prepared to deliver the sermon, a tall, Voluptuous, drop-dead gorgeous redheaded woman entered the sanctuary. The eyes of every man in the church fell upon her as she slowly sashayed up the aisle and sat down right in front of the priest. Her dress was green and very short, and she wore matching, shiny emerald-green shoes.

The priest and the altar boy gasped as the woman in the green dress and matching green shoes sat with her legs spread slightly apart, but just enough to realize she wasn't wearing any underwear.

The priest turned to the altar boy and whispered,

'Is that Kitty Green?'

The bug-eyed altar boy couldn't believe his ears but managed to calmly reply,

'No Father, I think it's just a reflection from her shoes'.

 

[ARCOgraphite]

Oi! Vey!

 

[OtisBlkR1]

good one !

 

[dwendt44]

If that makes it past the censors, maybe this one will too!!



A cabbie picks up a Nun.

She gets into the cab, and notices that the VERY handsome

cab driver won't stop staring at her.

She asks him why he is staring.

He replies:

"I have a question to ask you but I don't want to offend you."

She answers,

"My son, you cannot offend me. When you're as old as I am

And have been a nun as long as I have, you get a chance to see and

Hear just about everything. I'm sure that there's nothing you could

Say or ask that I would find offensive."

"Well, I've always had a fantasy to have a nun kiss me."

She responds,

"Well, let's see what we can do about that: #1, you have

To be single and #2, you must be Catholic."

The cab driver is very excited and says,

"Yes, I'm single and Catholic!"

"OK" the nun says. "Pull into the next alley."

The nun fulfills his fantasy, with a kiss that would

Make a hooker blush.

But when they get back on the road, the cab driver starts crying.

"My dear child," says the nun, "why are you crying?"

"Forgive me but I've sinned. I lied and I must confess,

I'm married and I'm Jewish."



The nun says, "That's OK.

My name is Kevin and I'm going to a Halloween party.

 

[ARCOgraphite]

that is priceless!