Irish Last Request…

[TallPaul]

Mary Clancy goes up to Father O'Grady after his Sunday morning service, and she's in tears. He says, "So what's bothering you, Mary my dear?"

She says, "Oh, Father, I've got terrible news. My husband passed away last night."

The priest says, "Oh, Mary, that's terrible. Tell me, did he have any last requests?"

She says, "That he did, Father..."

The priest says, "What did he ask, Mary?"

She replies, "He said, 'Please Mary, put that gun down.”

 

[Johnny]

 

[Boomer]

An Irish worker Patrick has an accident at the Guiness Brewery and dies. The workers are trying to decide how to tell his good wife the bad news so they draw straws. Paddy gets the short one so its off to Mary's house with the bad news.
When he gets there, he knocks and Mary answers.

"Mary," he says, "there has been a terrible accident at the brewery."

Oh my, she says, "is it my Patrick?"

"Yes, Mary, he says. "He's dead, I'm afraid."

""How did it happen?, she asks.

"He drowned in a huge vat of Guiness," says Paddy.

"Did he go fast?" asks Mary.

"I'm afraid not," he says. "He had to crawl out three times to pee."