Bob read this and you'll understand
Anyway here are some questions posted by Americans on the Sydney Olpympic website before they arrived
Here are some of the classic questions that were asked of the Sydney Olympic Committee by Americans via their Web site, and the answers that were supplied where appropriate.
Q: Does it ever get windy in Australia? I have never seen it rain on TV, so how do the plants grow?
A: Upwards, out of the ground, like the person who asked this question, who themselves will need watering if their IQ drops any lower...
Q: Will I be able to see kangaroos in the street?
A: Depends on how much beer you've consumed...
Q: Which direction should I drive - Perth to Darwin or Darwin to Perth - to avoid driving with the sun in my eyes?
A: Excellent question, considering that the Olympics are being held in Sydney.
Q: I want to walk from Perth to Sydney - can I follow the railroad tracks?
A: Sure, it's only three thousand miles, so you'll need to have started about a year ago to get there in time for this October...
Q: Is it safe to run around in the bushes in Australia?
A: And accomplish what?
Q: Do you have perfume in Australia?
A: No. Everybody stinks.
Q: Do tents exist in Australia?
A: Yes, but only in sporting supply stores, peoples' garages, and most national parks...
Q: Can I wear high heels in Australia?
A: This HAS to have been asked by a blonde...
Q: Can you tell me the regions in Tasmania where the female population is smaller than the male population?
A: Yes. Gay nightclubs.
Q: Can I drive to the Great Barrier Reef?
A: Sure, if your vehicle is amphibious.
Q: Are there killer bees in Australia?
A: Not yet, but we'll see what we can do when you get here.
Q: Can you give me some information about hippo racing in Australia?
A: What's this guy smoking, and where do I get some?
Q: Are there supermarkets in Sydney and is milk available all year round?
A: Another blonde?
Q: Please send a list of all doctors in Australia who can dispense rattlesnake serum.
A: I love this one...there are no rattlesnakes in Australia.
Q: Which direction is North in Australia?
A: Face North and you should be about right.
Q: Can you send me the Vienna Boys' Choir schedule?
A: Americans have long had considerable trouble distinguishing between Austria and Australia.
Q: I have a question about a famous animal in Australia, but I forget its name. It's a kind of bear and lives in trees.
Q: Will I be able to speak English most places I go?
A: Yes, but you'll have to learn it first.
