Home Depot

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Charlie was installing a new door and found that one of the hinges was missing.

He asked his wife Mary if she would go to Home Depot and pick up a hinge.

Mary agreed to go.

While she was waiting for the manager to finish serving a customer, her eye caught a beautiful bathroom faucet.

When the manager was finished, Mary asked him, "How much is that faucet?

The manager replied, “That’s a gold plated faucet and the price is $500.00”

Mary exclaimed, “My goodness, that is a very expensive faucet. It’s certainly out of my price bracket.”

She then proceeded to describe the hinge that Charles had sent her to buy. The manager said that he had them in stock and went into the storeroom to get one.

From the storeroom the manager yelled, “Ma’am, do you wanna screw for the hinge?”

Mary paused for a moment…and then shouted back,



"No, but I will for the faucet.”
 
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Three couples, an elderly couple, a middle-aged couple and a young newly wed couple wanted to join a church.

The pastor said, "We have special requirements for new parishioners. You must abstain from having sex for two weeks."

The couples agreed and came back at the end of two weeks. The pastor went to the elderly couple and asked, "Were you able to abstain from sex for the two weeks?"

The old man replied, "No problem at all, Pastor." "Congratulations! Welcome to the church!" said the pastor.

The pastor went to the middle-aged couple and asked, "Well, were you able to abstain from sex for the two weeks?"

The man replied, "The first week was not too bad. The second week I had to sleep on the couch for a couple of nights but, yes, we made it." "Congratulations! Welcome to the church!" said the pastor.

The pastor then went to the newly wed couple and asked, "Well, were you able to abstain from sex for two weeks?" "No Pastor, we were not able to go without sex for the two weeks," the young man replied sadly. "What Happened?" inquired the pastor. "My wife was reaching for a can of paint on the top shelf and dropped it. When she bent over to pick it up, I was overcome with lust and took advantage of her right there."

"You understand, of course, this means you will not be welcome in our church," stated the pastor. "We know." said the young man, "We're not welcome at Home Depot anymore either."
 
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