Have you ever spoken a eulogy?

[John105]

I did yesterday at a funeral mass, and it left an impression on me, to think that my words, could bring tears to people 75 yo or so, in my remembrance of their brother and friend. Someone whom I called an uncle and he called his nephew (we are not by blood).

Recently, I sang Johnny B. Goode at a birthday party. I thought if Michael J. Fox and Bobby Weir could do it, how hard could it be?

With the eulogy I had thought of Bobby Weir at Golden Gate Park speaking about Jerry. What came through is being factual, concise, upbeat, and sincere.

Gee Bobby, lately you’re 2 for 2.

 

[Jdeere562]

No, and at age 68 I don't plan on it either.

My 39 year old best friend has agreed to speak at mine. My kids know the wishes as well.

I want people to laugh and remember the good times. She and I had plenty of them over the years. Also, she is a funny person and can make people laugh. I told her to drink 4 beers before speaking, to ensure that!

 

[Donald]

I know I could not have kept it together for either of my parents funerals to give a eulogy.

I was at my wife's father's military funeral (retired UD Army Ranger) and when the Army officer presented the folded flag and softly said to my wife "On behalf of The President and Secretary of the Army, thank you for your father's service" I had a hard time keeping it together.

 

[fisher83]

I've never spoken at a funeral. I think I'd do well at writing the eulogy but delivering it isn't really in my wheelhouse.

 

[billt460]

Jack Nicholson did a good job when Morgan Freeman died in the movie, "The Bucket List".

 

[supton]

No, although at my FIL’s funeral a family member asked if I could read his remembrance for him. I don’t like public speaking but since it wasn’t anything I had written, and it was well written, I was able to speak it without issue.

But I have no desire to give the eulogy at my parents funerals. We haven’t spoken about it, and I suspect they don’t have strong wishes, but as the oldest child I do wonder if there aren’t expectations there.

And no desire to speak at anyone else’s funerals. No desire to do my grieving before an audience, cathartic or not.

 

[fdcg27]

I did speak at my father's funeral mass. I recounted his life with my mother and his children and that he had seen every one of them earn degrees and marry, with some delivering grandchildren.
I opened by speaking of how my father loved summer and that he would not see another.
I spoke extemporaneously from the heart and I think it went well.

 

[b4autodark]

I spoke and read a letter at my uncles burial last spring. I had never met the man as he was killed in the battle on Betio Atoll in WW2. The letter I read was from his step brother to his father informing him of his sons death, it was a tear jerker and even though I had never met my uncle it was an emotional experience for me.

My uncle, Mervin Delbert Galland, (google that name for a history lesson) was buried on that island after the battle and then the grave was lost after the seabees landed to build an airstrip. His remains were discovered and returned to us after 80 years and he was re buried in a little country cemetery outside of Mentor Minnesota next to his father, my grandfather, Roy Galland, who is a WW1 vet. There was no one there that had ever met my uncle and that made it sadder yet.

 

[Triple_Se7en]

The wife and I want to go from death - straight to put on ice at a funeral home for storage only - then straight to Crematory - then straight to Mausoleum. If you want to talk to us - or about us in public, do it at the Mausoleum.

Where the wife and I both end-up in afterlife gets decided at the moment of death. We don't need basic / default funeral arrangements made by family or church. If someone wants to pray for us after we die, they can do it anywhere / anytime.....the more prayers the merrier.
I do need a ton of help said for me. I always worry that I will look at myself in an afterlife facial reflective manner, then see a set of horns and a pitchfork on both sides of me.

 

[shortyb]

I recently had a man I respect very much, who helped in my career for several years, and became very close friends, ask to give a eulogy at his funeral. I first met him in his boxers and t-shirt early one morning when he had to sign a warrant (he was a judge at the time) for me. I think I'm gonna lead with that.

 

[RDY4WAR]

Yes, at my best friend's funeral. I kept it rather short and to the point, which was his style. I could've rambled on and poured my emotions out for days though. I may have lost a few in the audience with the terminology and metaphors, but that's how he and I spoke to each other. I wanted to keep it as close to him as possible, and much of it was me speaking directly to him. I was weeping the whole time.

"...Your apparition dwells in the emotional waiting room of my mind, yearning to be admitted. My path of acceptance yet traveled, blocked by anger and vulnerability. I find solace in knowing you do not share this despair. Your blissful hysterics now occupy the afterlife. Someday, my spirit shall as well. Until then, may your wings find you heaven and dance to the rhythm of eternity. Til Valhalla, brother."

Leaving an impression is an understatement.

 

[Nick1994]

I gave one at my grandfather’s funeral in 2022. He loved to embarrass himself and laugh, so I gave some embarrassing stories about him and made everyone else laugh.

His 75 year old cousin came up to us afterwards and said “This was the most fun I’ve ever had at a funeral!”

 

[hrv]

Yes my late wife Dawn in 2008....

 

[2005jettatdi]

In high school, I read the poem The Unknown Citizen by W. H. Auden. I was struck by how much it was about my father. So, at his funeral Mass in 2014 I asked the priest to be allowed to read my version of the poem, with apologies to W. H. Auden. I did not change much to make it fit my father.

 

[k1xv]

Yes, for my father, who held unconventional political views.

For a cousin, killed in a one car traffic accident, who suffered anxiety and nervousness, but was sensitive and like a big brother.

For my mother, who died at 96 with dementia.

For a Korean War veteran friend, who suffered PTSD the rest of his life.

 

[TooManyWheels]

I did for my mother. I thought she deserved something much more personal than the generic effluvia normally let lose in such circumstances. I had a good deal of warning, so I was able to consider it carefully.

 

[John105]

What's interesting is grieving is like water. It can come back and make its presence known, after the rain has stopped. The uncle's sister who did everything from looking after his healthcare, finances, and then all the arrangements, is devastated now that everything is done. My wife is so kind to her and said to come to Phila. she'll put her and sister up in a hotel and take them all around when she's done with work. I hope she takes my wife up on the offer.

 

[spasm3]

I have. A friend and coworker died and his wife's selection of a minister backfired. He had dementia and did the best he could. Several coworkers approached me as we were going to the graveside and said " Someone has to speak for John , he deserves more, and the family needs it". They came to me knowing I am a decent public speaker.

I asked his brother if it was ok to say a few words grave side. He said please please do.

I delivered my best unplanned, but I knew him well so it was not hard to do. I also said a prayer.
Everyone felt relieved afterwards.

You never know when you might need to speak publicly, and with out prep.
I felt honored to be asked.

 

[Nmr1981]

Yes at my dad’s. Remembered how he taught me to ride a bike even though he didn’t. That’s the kind of guy he was.

 

[mobilnissan1991]

For my uncle, who was my dads baby brother and also one of the best friends Ive ever had, in December 2021. I kept it together for the first few sentences of the eulogy. One of the hardest days of my life for sure. One of the best saltwater/tarpon fisherman to ever come out of South Louisiana, and he sure was proud of that, as we all were.