Originally Posted By: Summerwind
Same here, personaly, as I feel with many things in "Today's" society, we have made it too-easy to "Call It quits"..and just try another. I am not of course refering to marriages where abuse etc take place, but just that "Oh, We've grown apart, or we arn't the same people, " "Or I wanted to try something differnt"...It takes work, honesty, and a Willingness to see things thru and Make it work. Yes, I have been there, and again, except for the above mentioned exceptions, I consider divorce a sad-thing for anyone..
I agree, two couples that are all good friends of ours are splitting up right now and I think in both cases they gave up too quickly without trying to work things out (both couples were married over 10 years and both had young children together too). And sadly, it's spreaded over to my wife, as two months ago she surprised me by telling me that after ten years of marriage that she doesn't know why but she is unhappy, isn't "in love" with me anymore, and doesn't see a future for us, but yet doesn't seem willing to try to work things out. I'm willing to compromise, work very hard and do whatever it takes to make it work (counselling, take a vacation away together, etc.) but she just keeps saying "I don't think it will work"
I love her so much and I entered this marriage with the full intent of spending the rest of my life with her, but I guess since her parents got divorced she doesn't see marriage as a permanent union. My parents had been together for more than 50 years when my mom died last year, and went through their share of minor ups and downs but always worked through them (they went to counselling at one point and it helped them a lot) So I've always viewed marriage as something that truly is forever. And we've got an 8 year old son together too, so I really don't want him to grow up without his father living with him
What I want to know is, have any of you guys gone through what I'm going through and have been able to save the marriage? If so, how did you do it? I've tried doing a lot of different things (changing my appearance slightly, helping out a lot more around the house, showing her more respect, complimenting her more-but not to the point of overdoing it either) and I haven't been acting depressed at all, I've been pretending like nothing is bothering me (even though I'm dying inside!) as I know that I won't win her back if she sees me as a weak and sad person! But so far after more than two months, nothing is working, she still tells me her feelings haven't changed.