Dealing with people who don't care-auto maintenance
- Thread starter 21_6.7f450
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I'll also add that I think you are going out of your way too much. You are one person who only has a finite amount of free time. Don't help people who don't want to be helped. They will either stop mentioning it altogether, or will realize what they lost and make things easier because they need the help.
For my small engine side business I used to pick up equipment with my trailer. I no longer do that. Even though I charged a pick-up fee, it just wasn't worth the time it cost me, time I could spend doing other things. Now people make a point to drop off their stuff when it is convenient for me. Even if they don't have a truck or trailer, they somehow find a way. If people want your help bad enough they will find a way to make it work for you.
For my small engine side business I used to pick up equipment with my trailer. I no longer do that. Even though I charged a pick-up fee, it just wasn't worth the time it cost me, time I could spend doing other things. Now people make a point to drop off their stuff when it is convenient for me. Even if they don't have a truck or trailer, they somehow find a way. If people want your help bad enough they will find a way to make it work for you.
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These are the same folks who's cars will develop sinchyas every time.
"Ever sinchya worked on it, this totally unrelated problem has been happening"
There are too many breakdown opportunities waiting to be blamed on you,
"Ever sinchya worked on it, this totally unrelated problem has been happening"
There are too many breakdown opportunities waiting to be blamed on you,
In my family, my dad was never big on maintenance. I think he believed a car was a piece of junk if it needed periodic replacement of consumable items like spark plugs or brake pads. Oh, he did remember to get the oil changed every year or two, but beyond that, it was fix only what breaks. And complain about it too. I remember him threatening to write a nasty letter to General Motors because his brake rotors wore out and needed replacement.
Another time, we were on vacation in Michigan and he decided to drop off my mom and sister and I for a couple hours (shopping, or something?) because he needed to take the car for an oil change. I always wondered what brought on such an urgency; perhaps the "Oil" light had come on? Maybe the engine sounded different? Who knows, maybe he just wanted to get away and get a couple drinks.
Another time, we were on vacation in Michigan and he decided to drop off my mom and sister and I for a couple hours (shopping, or something?) because he needed to take the car for an oil change. I always wondered what brought on such an urgency; perhaps the "Oil" light had come on? Maybe the engine sounded different? Who knows, maybe he just wanted to get away and get a couple drinks.
Don't
Couple points I see in here.
- Don't care about maintenance
- Can't afford to fix it
That sounds like a HUGE liability to the person working on the car when they get the chance. Like @Mechanician said, remember that belt you replaced 5 years ago, it broke the other day and I had to spend $xxx to fix it.
They don't care, I don't care. And I'd be concerned about them trying to get me to fix something unrelated after I touched their car.
- Don't care about maintenance
- Can't afford to fix it
That sounds like a HUGE liability to the person working on the car when they get the chance. Like @Mechanician said, remember that belt you replaced 5 years ago, it broke the other day and I had to spend $xxx to fix it.
They don't care, I don't care. And I'd be concerned about them trying to get me to fix something unrelated after I touched their car.
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Nowadays, imho a good portion of humans can’t afford to drive. Being a developed nation, it’s not a privilege anyone is willing to give up.
Riddle me this. How much is a typical spark plug job, for boring innocent cars, nowadays? Often it’s 3-5 hours labor by the book. And indie garage is easily $140/hr now.
Can a normal person shell out $800 to get their plugs changed? There was once a time when yes, one could say you can’t afford the ink, then don’t print. Today? Nobody cares about much of anything. Jmoymmv
Riddle me this. How much is a typical spark plug job, for boring innocent cars, nowadays? Often it’s 3-5 hours labor by the book. And indie garage is easily $140/hr now.
Can a normal person shell out $800 to get their plugs changed? There was once a time when yes, one could say you can’t afford the ink, then don’t print. Today? Nobody cares about much of anything. Jmoymmv
I'm not a mechanic but the son of one and know my way around a vehicle enough to take care of all my own and immediate families stuff. I learned a long time ago not to offer help with these types of people. They are hardly thankful and the second something goes wrong with ANYTHING, even unrelated.....they expect you to run to them and fix it since you touched it last.
The case of the hopelessly brain dead ex brother in-law:
These people are everywhere, have no clue how anything mechanical works and have no accountability in life. Nothing is their fault and the blame always goes to someone else. Took me far too long to learn when not to help.
The case of the hopelessly brain dead ex brother in-law:
- He needed a cheap car quick. My dad, the mechanic got his hands on 20 year old 1990-ish K-car with 20k miles on it from an old lady that passed away. Was in perfect condition and basically gave it away to the idiot brother in law. The brother in law was told "You need to get tires on this before you drive it, ASAP" They were dry rotted, had a crazy flat spot and had zero traction. He totalled it a month later the first time it rained.
- Same idiot brother in law needed a new car and got one for free from his buddy who had a decent beater lying around. Was told...get the transmission line replaced before you drive it, the rubber line has a crack in it. Idiot brother in law registered it, paid taxes on it...and blew the transmission up one week later. Demanded the (ex) buddy pay for a new transmission.
- His dad found him an Olds Aurora....the one that took like 8 quarts of synthetic oil or something. Jiffy Lube wanted like $150 for an oil change. Couldn't afford it so he drove it until the engine siezed..... yelled at daddy for getting him junk car.
These people are everywhere, have no clue how anything mechanical works and have no accountability in life. Nothing is their fault and the blame always goes to someone else. Took me far too long to learn when not to help.
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Well said. Normal maintenance items today can be $800, $500, etc etc. Ordinary people really can’t afford those numbers.
My buddy has a 2023 Traverse. The flex pipe broke. Known issue. Car is under a full warranty. He drives in with 8,000 miles and has an estimate of $500 for service? ***? So can you say hey you don’t wanna pay $500, what’s good? My thinking is this is a brand new car wth is going on? Dealer is already up selling unneeded items cuz they got him on in with the broken flex pipe. What items? Car needs an alignment. At 8k miles!
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Yes. And these people tend to have high salaries and use others who learn how things work, to help them advance their own careers. Usually they are one day fired, and they get an even better job at another organization. Just my observation
The trick to a fairly stress free life is to drop the people that stress you out and stop being the “nice” guy.
You cannot help people that are not interested in helping themselves, they will only use you.
So how do you deal with these people? You don’t.
You cannot help people that are not interested in helping themselves, they will only use you.
So how do you deal with these people? You don’t.
I can understand being mildly concerned about a family member neglecting their vehicle. Especially if when it finally dies, they expect you to either give them rides all the time, of asking to borrow your car.,,
If I were you, I would not work on their cars. With no maintenance, if you lay a finger on the car, every subsequent need for repair will be your fault.
" It was fine till you worked on it".
" It was fine till you worked on it".
My wife is a nice person and when our neighbors/friends need some car work she always asks me "Do you think you could help them"?
My answer is always "NO....if I touch their car I'll own every problem they'll ever have".
If I do front brakes on the car and in 10 years the radio stops working they'll blame me. Been there, done that.
My answer is always "NO....if I touch their car I'll own every problem they'll ever have".
If I do front brakes on the car and in 10 years the radio stops working they'll blame me. Been there, done that.
I service friends and family cars. I have one dear friend, Dan, who is a nice, honest guy, but is the ultra slob. All I can say is, I have been losing the "Dan the Car Killer" game for many years.
Keep up the good work @21_6.7f450.
Keep up the good work @21_6.7f450.
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Don’t want to interject too much philosophy, but I think you nailed it. First try to help oneself, then one can ask others to see what they can do.
There are so many who do the, I ain’t got time fo’ dat, just give me the answer! Better yet just fix it and leave me out of it!
