Dealing with people who don't care-auto maintenance

[21_6.7f450]

I have several people close to me, family who will not bring me their vehicles for maintenance, can't afford to replace it and complain to the 9's when something does happen. They buy the stuff, labor costs them nothing and they still don't have "time". I've even told them I will drive the 40 miles to go get their vehicle and do the work and drive it back, nope. How do y'all deal with that?
It's not like I enjoy sweating my tail off in 95* Texas heat. It's not like I'm trying to upsell them anything. If it starts and runs, it's fine...arrrg. This is both male and female family. I've been able to save money by running my stuff longer because I maintain it. Am I somehow privileged because of that, I don't know.
One of them owned that 2.2 Cobalt that I only saw once a year and it frequently went 18k + miles on oil changes. I told them I need it for a day to change the water pump. They said they didn't have time. Overheated the heck out of it, then took it to a local "mechanic" who changed the water pump. He said it was good, drove it to their house 4 miles down the road. They took the car to work the next morning 7 miles away and it overheated...it was done. I got the Dawn out and washed my hands of that car.
Just don't ask them to bring it by when I have time? Walk away when they tell me it needs a transmission rebuild for $3000 that they don't have? When they say it's falling apart, just say, yea, I know and chuckle?
If you deal with people that do this, how are you doing it?
If someone said buy the stuff and bring it by, I'd be all over it. If someone said, I'll come get it, do the work and bring it back to you, here are the keys..lol
There is a 3.8L oil guzzling Jeep and a Ford 3V 5.4 in the mix

 

[Lubener]

If they are not interested in maintaining their vehicle, it ends there and I don't lose sleep over it.

 

[JustN89]

Yeah.. there's a less than zero percent chance I'm going to drive that far and put that much effort into doing car maintenance for an apathetic family member unless they're stranded somewhere. If they don't care, then why should I? Maybe, when the engine throws a rod or the trans loses a gear or two, they'll realize why it happened and change their ways. I wouldn't count on it, though.

 

[ctechbob]

Yep, unless it has financial ramifications for me, family or not, they don't want the help they don't get the help.

 

[Gyro Gearloose]

Well, as Ron White says, you can fix their car, but you can't fix stoopid.

As cars have gotten way more complex in the past 10 years, I have almost quit volunteering to do anything for anybody. Totally random failures on expen$ive stuff can happen the day after you touch it, and I don't want the liability real or implied. I woud be terrified to even check the fluids in something that is routinely run to failure.

 

[joekingcorvette]

I know people that do not maintain their cars at all and it doesn't bother me if they do not have the brains to have them repaired. I take great care of my vehicles and it's more of a hobby for me.

 

[RedSpider]

When it comes to helping people with their cars, I had to train myself to stop caring about other people's lives more than they do. Once I did that, my life got easier, and their life got worse, which is better than the other way around. I got tired of telling my friends or siblings or whoever that their brakes were getting dangerous, or the coolant was low, or they needed tie rods, or whatever. "We'll tackle that next time" or "I dont have the money right now".

Once the inevitable breakdowns started happening, suddenly I didnt have the right tools to fix whatever they ignored, or I needed a lift to do that, or I was out of town that week, or whatever. You name it, I had a perfectly lame excuse why I couldnt do it. Eventually they all stopped calling and my life improved dramatically.

I work on my cars and my kid's cars now, and thats it. Nobody else.

 

[Propflux01]

I know it's an OCD thing to watch their cars die an early death while, you, with your offers and ability, sit helpless. I'm the same exact way. It's not you, it's them, and you just have to let it go. Those are the same kind of people that would allow you to change their oil, then blame you that the tranny went out on their way home. I've dealt with family members like this. Never again. As hard as it is, you have to look away at the stupid and go on. You are not the one privileged. You earned your maintenance badge.

 

[dlundblad]

You’re putting forth way more effort than i would. I applaud you for that.

One thing that’d have me concerned though is that if they really are as bad as you say they are, what makes you think they won’t come after you if their water pump fails after say you changed their starter?

*I have found anything vehicle related to most people is a “If I wanted your opinion, I’d ask for it.” sort of thing.

 

[ka9mnx]

I don't stick my nose in other peoples business...

 

[72C10]

If they don't want help, then not much you can do. It is annoying to watch a car die from lack of maintenance, but it's their money to waste.

I sometimes help out family members, but most of my family is great.

 

[JustTrynaHelp]

It's like anything else… You offer help and are refused.

Your conscience is clear, you tried to do the right thing but it's their decision.

Just walk away whistling man, just walk away.

 

[Glenda W.]

You know what they say about friends and family…..

Just imagine what would happen if something went wrong and you had been doing the maintenance.

 

[CharBaby]

I wouldn't worry about the situation, you've done more than enough to help them.
Walk away!

 

[CharlieJ]

Don't talk car stuff with non-car people! As you have experienced, it's a waste of time. Let them do what they want and focus your time on your own interests.

 

[SaberOne]

Well, anyone on this form is highly unlikely to be anything but OCD when it comes to taking care of their vehicles. I came from the factory that way, and I’m grateful for that. Unfortunately, my kids took awhile to come around. My youngest son is now in his 30s and he used to drive me crazy with how filthy the inside of his car looked when he would visit me. After he got married, he finally cleaned up his act. At least now, he takes his car in for service when required, but that’s about as far as he goes.

I don’t take my car to the dealership unless it’s absolutely necessary, because that’s just asking for trouble. Sadly, I have to drive 200 miles to an independent shop that I trust and I pay a premium. Independent owners have more to lose in terms of reputation.

 

[eljefino]

I had a coworker with a beater Sunfire I helped a couple times. I mistook him for a "car guy" and was helpful "for beers" but realized the relationship was one-way and he never picked up the torch of being "excited" about the car or the repairs. Dropped him.

If you have someone that both appreciates your work and visibly takes your advice in the future keep them on, otherwise drop them. Sounds like you'll have a lot more free time.

 

[jeepman3071]

Unless it's my immediate family (parents and two younger sisters) I stay out of it, and if I am asked for help I don't do it for free.

 

[Kira]

Don't talk car stuff with non-car people!

The crazy thing there is that applies even when THEY initiate the conversation or just ask a question about their own car.

 

[emmett442]

Not sure I understand the question. If they don't care, I don't care? They probably think the same about my not caring about golfing or their landscaping projects.