Because I'm a man, when I lock my keys in the car, I will fiddle with a coat hanger long after hypothermia has set in.
Calling NRMA is not an option... I WILL win.
______________________________________________
Because I'm a man, when the car isn't running very well, I will pop the hood and stare at the engine
as if I know what I'm looking at.
If another man shows up, one of us will say to the other, 'I used to be able to fix these things, but now
with all these computers and everything,
I wouldn't know where to start.
We will then drink a couple of beers and break wind, as a form of holy communion.
_______________________________________________
Because I'm a man, when I catch a cold, I need someone to bring me soup and take care of me tenderly
while I lie in bed and moan.
You're a woman. You never get as sick as I do. So,
for you, this is no problem.
_______________________________________________
Because I'm a man, I can be relied upon to purchase basic groceries at the store, like beer, milk or bread..
I cannot be expected to find things like exotic cheeses or tofu. For all I know, they are the same thing.
_______________________________________________
Because I'm a man, when one of our appliances stops working, I will insist on taking it apart, despite evidence that this
will just cost me twice as much once the repair person gets here and has to put it back together.
_______________________________________________
Because I'm a man, I must hold the television remote
control in my hand while I watch TV. If the thing has been
misplaced, I may miss a whole show looking for it.... Though
one time I was able to survive by holding a calculator.....
(Applies mainly to Engineers)
_______________________________________________
Because I'm a man, there is no need to ask me what I'm
thinking about. The true answer is always either sex, cars,
sex, sports,sex, food, or sex. I have to make up something else when you ask, so don't ask.
______________________________________________
Because I'm a man, you don't have to ask me if I liked the movie. Chances are, if you're crying at the end of it, I didn't.
And, if you're feeling amorous afterwards, then I will certainly remember the name and recommend it to others.
_______________________________________________
Because I'm a man, I think what you're wearing is fine.
I thought what you were wearing five minutes ago was fine,
too... either pair of shoes is fine. With the belt or without it.
Everything looks fine. Your hair is fine. You look fine.
Can we just go now?
_______________________________________________
Because I'm a man, and this is, after all, the year 2009, I
will share equally in the housework. You just do the laundry,
the cooking, the cleaning, the vacuuming, and the dishes,
and I'll do the rest.... like wandering around in the garden
with a Coke in my hand, wondering what to do.
( This has been a public service message for women )
( to better understand Most men. )
Calling NRMA is not an option... I WILL win.
______________________________________________
Because I'm a man, when the car isn't running very well, I will pop the hood and stare at the engine
as if I know what I'm looking at.
If another man shows up, one of us will say to the other, 'I used to be able to fix these things, but now
with all these computers and everything,
I wouldn't know where to start.
We will then drink a couple of beers and break wind, as a form of holy communion.
_______________________________________________
Because I'm a man, when I catch a cold, I need someone to bring me soup and take care of me tenderly
while I lie in bed and moan.
You're a woman. You never get as sick as I do. So,
for you, this is no problem.
_______________________________________________
Because I'm a man, I can be relied upon to purchase basic groceries at the store, like beer, milk or bread..
I cannot be expected to find things like exotic cheeses or tofu. For all I know, they are the same thing.
_______________________________________________
Because I'm a man, when one of our appliances stops working, I will insist on taking it apart, despite evidence that this
will just cost me twice as much once the repair person gets here and has to put it back together.
_______________________________________________
Because I'm a man, I must hold the television remote
control in my hand while I watch TV. If the thing has been
misplaced, I may miss a whole show looking for it.... Though
one time I was able to survive by holding a calculator.....
(Applies mainly to Engineers)
_______________________________________________
Because I'm a man, there is no need to ask me what I'm
thinking about. The true answer is always either sex, cars,
sex, sports,sex, food, or sex. I have to make up something else when you ask, so don't ask.
______________________________________________
Because I'm a man, you don't have to ask me if I liked the movie. Chances are, if you're crying at the end of it, I didn't.
And, if you're feeling amorous afterwards, then I will certainly remember the name and recommend it to others.
_______________________________________________
Because I'm a man, I think what you're wearing is fine.
I thought what you were wearing five minutes ago was fine,
too... either pair of shoes is fine. With the belt or without it.
Everything looks fine. Your hair is fine. You look fine.
Can we just go now?
_______________________________________________
Because I'm a man, and this is, after all, the year 2009, I
will share equally in the housework. You just do the laundry,
the cooking, the cleaning, the vacuuming, and the dishes,
and I'll do the rest.... like wandering around in the garden
with a Coke in my hand, wondering what to do.
( This has been a public service message for women )
( to better understand Most men. )
