A solar eclipse is what happens when the sun..

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..looks directly at Chuck Norris.

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Hitler after one of his generals advises him to release the Kraken after the Nazis learn that Chuck Norris is swimming the Atlantic to get them...
"That won't work, you fool! Don't you remember that we stole the Kraken from Chuck Norris' aquarium?!?!?!"

(yes, I enjoy a good Hitler rant)
 
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There was a street in my hometown named after Chuck Norris. They had to rename the street. Nobody crosses Chuck Norris and lives.
 
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