Should the kid keep $40?

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That has happened here before, and my son always kept the cash. I would however suggest to him that he put it in savings, more often than not that didn't happen.
 
The $40 was for a specific purpose.

As it turns out, it was not spent for that purpose.

It should then go back to the household kitty.

Taking into consideration children's concept of fairness, that is probably not going to go over well, because you probably failed to explain properly what the $40 was for when you gave it to him. So, when you DO explain it to him this time, you will probably have to piece him off for something.

Maybe $10 cash, maybe some other form of compensation. Note that I did not say "reward" as he did nothing to be rewarded for, except perhaps not lying about the $40, which is expected and therefore not rewardable.

Next time, handle the situation better ... explain what money you give him is for, and what is expected if he doesn't use it for that purpose (which is to hand it over ... ALL of it).

If you actually did explain to him what the money is for, I don't understand why you're asking. He should already understand that he has to give all of it back to you. If he doesn't, or expects a reward for doing nothing, there is something else wrong with the way you are teaching your children responsibility.

Determine what that is and correct your behaviour, while you still can teach him proper behaviour. Fail to do so means you have failed to prepare your child for life when you are not there to coddle him.

This is really no different from handing him a $50 to go to the store and buy eggs ... he doesn't get to keep the change.
 
the other family said it was a birthday treat, right? then it's a gift. if you take the 40 back, you are taking away a gift.
 
Originally Posted By: Johnny2Bad
The $40 was for a specific purpose.

As it turns out, it was not spent for that purpose.

It should then go back to the household kitty.

Taking into consideration children's concept of fairness, that is probably not going to go over well, because you probably failed to explain properly what the $40 was for when you gave it to him. So, when you DO explain it to him this time, you will probably have to piece him off for something.

Maybe $10 cash, maybe some other form of compensation. Note that I did not say "reward" as he did nothing to be rewarded for, except perhaps not lying about the $40, which is expected and therefore not rewardable.

Next time, handle the situation better ... explain what money you give him is for, and what is expected if he doesn't use it for that purpose (which is to hand it over ... ALL of it).

If you actually did explain to him what the money is for, I don't understand why you're asking. He should already understand that he has to give all of it back to you. If he doesn't, or expects a reward for doing nothing, there is something else wrong with the way you are teaching your children responsibility.

Determine what that is and correct your behaviour, while you still can teach him proper behaviour. Fail to do so means you have failed to prepare your child for life when you are not there to coddle him.

This is really no different from handing him a $50 to go to the store and buy eggs ... he doesn't get to keep the change.


The boy doesn't care about the money at all, the discussion was between my wife and I on the principle . I see a few responses didn't quite get the situation. The boy is 14, already has a car, big computer, ipad, straight "A's", boy scout and excellent manners. He really has no desire for "things".
 
Originally Posted By: Trav
Let him keep the $40 unless you want the kid to think your a tightwad, penny pinching miser and scrooge.


He's knows I am and my son is cheaper than me! I don't buy many things but when I do they're top shelf!
 
In that case snatch it back.
lol.gif
 
Originally Posted By: RedOakRanch
The boy doesn't care about the money at all, the discussion was between my wife and I on the principle . I see a few responses didn't quite get the situation. The boy is 14, already has a car, big computer, ipad, straight "A's", boy scout and excellent manners. He really has no desire for "things".

I don't see the need for a thread asking about this. This is not a huge deal. Your son did the right thing anyway, so the situation was resolved.
 
Originally Posted By: ArcticDriver
Return it to you.

The $40 was earmarked for a specific event by you & your wife. It was not a gift to him according to your description but to be handed to the other parents to cover your son's expenses.

The other couple gave a gift to your son for his birthday and the reimbursement for expenses was not required.

You can return the favor by inviting their child to your son's event.

The $40 was not used for the intended purpose and should be returned to you.

Your son will be receiving sufficient gifts on his birthday.

If you provided your son $50 to purchase school supplies and the store did not have the supplies then wuould you tell your son to just keep the $50? I think this sends an incorrect message.



Debbie Downer!
He keeps the money
lol.gif
 
Consider it an early allowance for the next thing he needs money for - and not just to blow and then expect more for something legitimate. He'll probably get much more when his birthday does arrive in a week.
 
Tell him he can keep it if he mows the lawn. Then, take 25%. Start calling yourself Government.

When he complains that he doesn't have enough money to buy things he wants, shower him with cash. Call this stimulus.
 
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Its obvious to me that all the parties have good hearts and are generous in both directions. Why not have your son give half $20 to a charity or church and keep the other half $20. He learns a larger lesson in giving and still prospers from a little extra coin.
smile.gif
 
I'm thinking most who responded with opinions here don't have multiple kids. I know for my wife and I, If we give one of our kids money specifically for something, it's understood that "the change" comes back to us.. Some of the time anyway.
 
Originally Posted By: JTK
I'm thinking most who responded with opinions here don't have multiple kids. I know for my wife and I, If we give one of our kids money specifically for something, it's understood that "the change" comes back to us.. Some of the time anyway.


We had two sons who are now grown and I know what you mean.
OTOH, if one of them really had some sort of special event to attend, we would have comped them the funds.
OTOH, what happened to the idea that high school kids should have little side jobs to make the money to do fun things?
In the case of the OP, they gave the kid the forty not expecting it back.
That he didn't have to spend it and told them so is revealing of his character.
I'd let him keep it as a reward for his honesty.
OTOH, he might have also figured that he better cough up the facts, since the other parents might well reveal them in casual conversation.
In that case, I'd let him keep the forty just for being smart enough to think a few moves ahead.
The $40.00 is best regarded as a sunk cost and the young man should be allowed to keep it.
 
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