OK, for things that must remain tough for a long time (like wood trim in a kitchen say...), I use a technique that we used in the boat yards for many years. None of this is water based ...
Sand to 100 grit. If you need a furniture grade finish, sand to 150 and let the sand paper dull on the final few passes.
Use an alcohol based stain. Often referred to as Analin Dye... If you want natural skip this step. But alcohol based stains dry really quick and you can keep working. And you can blend them and lighten them with post stain alcohol rub-downs.
Flood the surfaces with CPES. It will
slightly darken the wood and it will pop the grain (visually). CPES is an easy to use 1:1 mix and it cleans up with alcohol. Apply with bristle chip brush and wipe down quickly so no runs. Wear gloves.
Once the CPES starts to set pretty well and becomes tacky to the touch so it will leave a good finger print, start coating with Minwax Polyurethane. Other brands are iffy. Some will not work... I use satin for build coats. Let that first coat dry as the CPES is curing. They will form a permanent bond that will be nearly indestructible
Rub down the piece with scotch-brite pads, no sanding. Apply another coat the next day. Once you get up to day 6 and coat 5, you can start sanding. 150 grit DA, or 220 grit DA. Be quick and do not take off more than the high spots. Do not go down to the bond layer, ever.
Three or so more coats and it should be good to go
It'll look a mile deep. It'll be washable and wipe-able with 409/Fantastic. You can remove marker ink with alcohol and it will not touch it.
Other than catalyzed conversion varnish, which must be sprayed, this is as durable as it gets