Has anyone met a long distance friend?

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I've been talking to a girl I met on an internet forum for several years now, like 5 or 6 years and I was wondering has anyone of you ever met up with one a person in this situation? She lives in California and has had a bf for 3 or 4 years, but they've kind of had a bit of a rocky past. I know he's cheated on her before and he doesn't always give her enough attention. I think she hangs out with him like once a week or so.

Basically, Our relationship got started by helping each other with our relationship issues. She would help me because I'm shy and a little socially awkward, so I'm not the best with women and I would help her with her problems. We don't really talk about that much anymore, so now we just text each other and get to know one another and keep in touch every week or two. She's not always the best about getting back to me quickly, so it's hard to have good conversation with her sometimes, but when she does respond in a reasonable time frame, I can usually get into a pretty good conversation. She's super nice and doesn't have the usual crazy red flags that I'm accustomed to.

My problem is she's on the other side of the country and I really do enjoy being able to keep in touch with her and pretty much be able to ask anything about her. I feel like if I showed a deeper interest that it will all go down the toilet, like I've done many times in the past with girls. What do you guys think? Am I better off just having a nice girl to be able to talk to or should I ask her if she wants to meet. The other problem is I don't really have a place to put her. lol

Opinions?
 
I did, back in 2006. She is now my wife
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That said, I don't really get the impression that she's all that interested in you, especially since she has a bf, if that's the angle you're going for.
 
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Not to be a party pooper but sounds like she put you in the dreaded FZ (friend zone). It's a numbers game, the more contacts you make with pretty ladies the better your odds are. Make 100 contacts, your odds are better than if you only make a half dozen tries. You'll get better each time if you learn from your mistakes.

Plus there's tons of other guys in her area that have home field advantage. Which comes into play if she's hot, friendly and single. Time to cut bait like fishermen do. Don't be afraid to ask the pretty ladies for advice, they like that. It's one of their favorite topics usually.
 
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I've met up with female friends that I met online. One in particular that I used to talk to quite a bit ~10 years ago, most often about relationship issues (mostly hers). I still consider myself friends with her, though we don't communicate much anymore. She finally met a really good guy, so no more relationship issues to talk about. She is now happily married (I was at her wedding), and I'm happily divorced (she surprised me by showing up at my wedding).

If you have an excuse to make a trip out to CA, then you have a good reason to meet up. But don't expect to be more than friends. If something more develops, that's a nice bonus, but understand that it might be unlikely.

Either way, I'd eventually find a way to meet up.
 
It's difficult to know your next door neighbor.
When they live far away you have no clue on what they are or who they are.
It often ends up badly.
 
Originally Posted By: SatinSilver
Not to be a party pooper but sounds like she put you in the dreaded FZ (friend zone). It's a numbers game, the more contacts you make with pretty ladies the better your odds are. Make 100 contacts, your odds are better than if you only make a half dozen tries. You'll get better each time if you learn from your mistakes.

Plus there's tons of other guys in her area that have home field advantage. Which comes into play if she's hot, friendly and single. Time to cut bait like fishermen do. Don't be afraid to ask the pretty ladies for advice, they like that. It's one of their favorite topics usually.


Yeah man, you gotta play your odds. OP, if you haven't signed up for online dating yet, do it. Now. Online dating is perfect for us introverted/shy socially awkward types. I met my current girlfriend online, on one of the free dating sites. Talk with LOTS of women, and go out on dates with as many as possible. Lunch dates are great, much less pressure. You CAN be a gentleman while playing the field. THEN, if you don't have a GF 3-5 months from now - take your trip to CA and talk to your friend about relationship issues. You will be much more interesting (maybe more desirable too, or maybe not) after that.
 
My advice. Houston is a beautiful city full of beautiful women. Lots of culture there. It's got a laid back "beachy" vibe. Plus there's Galveston right down the road. Hit the beach. LOTS of chickadees everywhere
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The Houston area is one of my fave spots.
 
I've talked to about 10 women on the Internet that I've hooked up with and married the last one. We met online and chatted once. Exchanged phone numbers, talked on the phone twice and then met for a date. We've been together ever since. The other ones just wanted sex. When I did talk to women on the Internet, they got back to me right away except one. She was juggling a few guys and was great in bed so I put up with it for a little while but you know it's not going anywhere. At least not where you want it to go if you want a g/f and she's more interested in booty calls and slutting around.

I really like Danthaman's advice above. It's spot on. If you want a g/f, it's time to move on. Every week or two? You need a lot more passion than that!
 
Originally Posted By: SatinSilver
Not to be a party pooper but sounds like she put you in the dreaded FZ (friend zone). It's a numbers game, the more contacts you make with pretty ladies the better your odds are. Make 100 contacts, your odds are better than if you only make a half dozen tries. You'll get better each time if you learn from your mistakes.



don't laugh...I had a friend in college who would go in a bar and ask every girl he met if she wanted to go back to his place and hook up. He would get slapped a few times and usually get cursed at a few times and always get lots of horrible dirty looks...but within 2 hours would be walking out the door with some good looking girl. After a while my buddies and I would just stand back and watch him and bet beers on how many tries it took. I once won a whole night of free beers by betting on the first girl he spoke to....It was truly amazing.
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Originally Posted By: KrisZ
How did we ever get to reach 5 billion people on this planet before the internet?


see my post above ^^^^
 
Originally Posted By: Anduril
With this and the other thread lately, I propose we rename the site Bob Is The Dating Guy.


Bob is the "how to get her oiled up" guy.....
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Originally Posted By: Doog
Originally Posted By: KrisZ
How did we ever get to reach 5 billion people on this planet before the internet?


see my post above ^^^^


Oh, I know how it was done. College years were great with plenty of fish in the pond, if you know what I mean.
Just reading these threads talking how difficult it is to meet/talk to women, blah, blah, blah, one would think the human race would've been at the brink of extinction before the internet and the ability to talk to women via a computer screen was invented.
 
Never was a fan of long distance stuff for relationships.

I've never had a problem meeting anyone. Sometimes the results are not so great haha.
 
If she has a boyfriend, why are you even considering this? If she cheats with you (even emotionally) she'll cheat on youi. Espeically if you're half a country apart.
 
She has a boyfriend and it takes her a week or two to get back to you. RUN!! RUN!!!!! RUUUUUNNNNN!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Download the Tinder Ap on your smart phone and you will find 5 ladies in your town within the week.
 
Originally Posted By: Doog
I had a friend in college who would go in a bar and ask every girl he met if she wanted to go back to his place and hook up.


Wow, talk about playing the field. The college days sure were fun. All that beer, no wonder I came back home to visit with a beer belly.
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