I won't die, I'll .... (Non religious Post)

Status
Not open for further replies.
Joined
Feb 11, 2014
Messages
1,980
Location
Upper Midwest by the Lakes USA
I wont be dying... Nope not me. I'm going to Croak.
Let me say that one more time clearly... I will Croak.
My grandfather always used that term. It was just somehow quicker off his tongue., came out easier. Part of it also was a casual... "Heck, its gonna happen anyways" type of honesty.

For me it has meant that but also much more. What is the "more" for me? Well, in a nutshell it is kinda that it tells death, with all his formality, a big "[censored] YOU!" Newsflash Mr. Grim Reaper... You did not really end anything that earthshakingly majestic or immense here Sir.

Also, "croaking" is a way to irreverently tell others to just deal with it. I'm not dead... I croaked. I got ripped off and lets not talk about it in an other manner.

As a matter of fact, i want it written that way in the obit. He [censored] croaked. Big deal. Everybody move on, because you're going to do exactly THAT before I'm even in the ground. You'll miss me but you'll mumble about taking the Saturday to show up at the funeral when you have a sink to fix and some dead shrubs you need to pull. Some guy in his twenties will be firing off texts to his girlfriend under the impression the HE will be immortal. The little kids with the misfortune of being drug allong will be bored beyond belief and of course, hungry. My boss will hang up the phone and say, oh [censored], we have to get somebody to fill that spot." And they guy who takes my place and who has never met me will do the job just about as good anyways. My wife will still not fully understand how very many copies of the death certificate that she'll have to sling around just to get the credit card to stop sending an updated card in my name every two years.

You know what, i want to be comfortable.... So if you dont burn me to ashes, at least put a tshirt and some jeans on me. And for goodness sake, dont spend a fortune on a box for my corpse. I drove a darn Corolla, why put me in a Cadillac casket!?! Get me in the ground by noon, get everyone fed, go mow the lawn.... Done.

So in the end, I CROAKED. You took a few inconvenient minutes to come stare at the pasty looking body... And the whole world moved on the moment I dropped anyways.

Please don't take this a meaning that I dont think that I/you/we "matter". Sure, we matter. We matter as long as we get the job done, as long as we pay the bills, as long as we can provide for those who await our income. Face it, beyond that, i am not THAT important and thus .. I dont 'pass', i dont 'go home', i dont die.... I croak.
 
*looking at watch, tapping with fingers on desk*
Are you done croaking yet?
 
Originally Posted By: BRZED
Are you done croaking yet?


LOL! And that statement embodies the most beautiful part of it. We are all in the end facing it alone and the next monkey that happens to be wandering allong and sees it... Just shrugs his shoulders, takes a leak, and moves on. Beautifully predictable creatures of survival we are.
 
ca78e0dfd31736b14eef4ae0f97bb86d.jpg
 
Boy for a minute there I thought this was going to be about Cryonics and getting frozen. That would have been a cool topic.
 
In approximately 100 trillion light years, (give or take a few trillion)....every atom in your body will have "desintegrated" into a photon with a wave length of infinite length and the closest other photon will be an infinite number of light years away.

Beat that one
wink.gif
 
Last edited:
It's called expansion of the universe. Thanks Al, I was just looking to see if anyone else posted on the vaccine topic and found this thread. Too much George Carlin can be hazardous to your health. I don't believe in evolution, then again, I'm not a primate either so I can't comment on the rest of you.
 
Wife wanted to know my wishes.

Wrap me in a sheet, dig a vertical hole with a post hole digger, drop me down, backfill, and plant a wallnut tree in the depression...and I want everyone to enjoy the nuts.

Was told that wasn't appropriate.

Build a pyre on a longboat, put me on it, light the fire and send me to Valhalla (slight problem on inland waterways, but not insurmountable for those who care)...that wasn't appropriate either.

Guess at that stage they can all do as they shalt, it's not going to bother me a great deal either way....unless it's a coffin in a zinc sheath, soldered shut, and in another coffin with gold nails...dunno why they'd do that.
 
Don't worry, Shannow ...
We'll have you liquefied, mixed with moly and boron, and bottled as an additive-friendly eco-minded alternative to conventional base stocks.
It's the least we BITOGers could do.
grin.gif
 
Last edited:
I told my wife to just dump my body somewhere remote, take the funeral money and buy yourself something expensive.

She said that I'm too heavy to move around, my son offered to crate me up and send me to long term storage with a phony return address.

I said if you insist on a funeral, then have me cremated and scatter my ashes over my little garden.
 
Originally Posted By: dnewton3
Don't worry, Shannow ...
We'll have you liquefied, mixed with moly and boron, and bottled as an additive-friendly eco-minded alternative to conventional base stocks.
It's the least we BITOGers could do.
grin.gif



You forgot the bombarded with VIIs, to get a VI of OVER 250 part!
wink.gif
LOL (j/k Shannow, you know we love ya.)
 
It would be a sight to see a BITOGers estate sale. Here we have 150 quarts of motor oil...apparently this person suffered from hoarding disease.
whistle.gif
 
Last edited:
Status
Not open for further replies.
Back
Top