Rude parrot learns his lesson

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A man recieves an African Grey Parrot from the family of his dead friend. The parrot is very rude, loud, and curses to no end.
He argues, calls him names, and makes a mess on purpose.
One day, the new owner has had enough, and throws him in the freezer for a couple of minutes. For the first two minutes he can hear the parrot kicking and cursing at him. Suddenly, it all stops. The new owner worries that he might have hurt the bird, so he opens the freezer. The parrot says, "Sir, I do apologize for all the anguish I have caused you. I will change my ways."

The owner forgives him, at which point the parrot asks, "Would you mind if I asked what the chicken did?"
 
A variation where the parrot doesn't learn the lesson:

A pirate captain decides he needs a parrot, so he buys one at the pet store. The parrot seems great- it rides around on his shoulder all day at sea, says "aye matey!" and does everything a pirate's parrot should. Except for one thing: Every time the pirate captain raises his voice to shout an order to the crew, the parrot shouts "Eff you, ya one-eyed pirate!" and tries to bite him. One day he's in the galley and drops a pan on his toe. When he shouts in pain, the parrot says "Eff you, ya one-eyed pirate!" and bites him. Fed up, he throws the parrot in the freezer, and finishes making his lunch. He planned to get the parrot out after a few minutes, but the lookout sighted a ship and he ran up on deck. By the time he remembered the parrot, it had been an hour. So he rushes to the freezer, but the parrot is stiff as a rock. Then he notices:

The parrot is standing with one wing over an eye and the other foot raised up, middle "finger" held high in the air.
 
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