Your Father's Sayings

There's two ways to make a living in this world. With your back or with your brain. You need to get an education.
 
“Don’t tell your mother!” -that one time he broke a prong off an extension cord in an outlet and tried removing said prong with needle nose pliers.... with the power still on.

“No, you cannot beat your brother. But I can’t always watch you both either.”

This picture taken at a Sunday family dinner:
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My dad was in training to be a bombardier during WWII, and was trained for every position on the bombers including navigator and bombardier, but not pilot. His eyes did not have the depth perception to pass the depth perception test. And fortunately for him the war ended before he finished training. So he never was sent over seas. But he was most of the way through that training when the war ended. He told a few stories about the lives lost in training. He said that the base he was on in Texas had to fly the flag at half mast one day for each life lost on that base, and that after the war ended that flag had to still fly at half mast for a year and a half to catch up to all the names on that list.

We use to watch 12 O'Clock High on TV late at night, and he very seldom commented on anything on that show, but it really showed what those men went through flying in combat. One thing he did say is that because there actually were very few who qualified to be bombardiers and actually made it all the way through the training, that often on real missions whole flight group only had one or two bombardiers.

One thing I found out just a few years ago, after he passed away, was the the survival percentage rate of the men who flew on those bombers in combat to make it through the war alive was actually lower that the survival rate of the Japanese kamikaze pilots.

As to sayings, when he did not like the attitude of one of his children, he would say " You got the wrong altitude. " We all knew want he meant by that.
 
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"If you can't find it in the logical places, start looking in the illogical places"

"I'll hit you so hard on the head you'll have three tongues in your shoe" (Said with a smile)

"Gotta see a man about a horse"
 
Clean up all these parts so we can put the motor together and go someplace.
What do you mean that you can't get the lawnmower to start?

Other kids Dad's said things like: "You are as useless as a screen door in a submarine" Or "You are as bad as a pay toilet in a diarrhea ward"
 
my grandfather had several good ones, but a few I liked the most

"that's about as handy as a busted knob on an outhouse door"
"handy as titts on a bull"
"pitter patter let's get at er"
how tight should I make it...? "a 1/4 turn before it breaks"
 
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Dad said..Tables are for glasses and not for asses. He doesn't have a pot to piss in or a window to throw it out of. And his favorite.. There's an ass for every seat.
 
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