Stole this from here: http://www.xoxideforums.com/showthread.php?t=37958 1. It has better hygiene that you do. 2. The first thing you do when you get your new exhaust or intake is blow through it saying VROOOOM VROOOOOM!!! 3. The only time you check out a girl is when you see her in the reflection of your car as you are admiring it. 4. You spend more money on you’re car than you do health insurance 4. When other people start admiring you’re car you make sure to **** on the tires so they know what’s up. 5. You waste way too much gas just driving it around, with nowhere to go. 6. When you are given a choice between sex with Asian triplets or finishing you’re turbo install, you have to pick the turbo. 7. You get your new shirt dirty before a date because you used it to wipe a little smudge off the hood. 8. You leave your girlfriend's house early to make sure there's enough light outside to work on your car. 9. Your friends swear you have sex with it every night! 10. You lock the doors when it's in the locked the garage (maximum security) 11. When your bored you go out sit in the driver's seat and listen to the radio 12. You don’t allow more than 2 friends in your four doors because of power loss and potential wheel rub. 13. You stop and stare at it from multiple angles admiring the view before you get in every time. 14. your car is dressed better than you 15. you never fill your gas tank all the way incase you have to race someone 16. You find yourself asking your g/f to pose with your "Baby" and of course, she ends up hitting you 17. You rev in the oddest place's (ex. drive-thru's) to attract attention to your car 18. You talk to your car 19. You kindly ask people to remove their shoes before entering. 20. When your g/f says that she doesn’t have enough pictures of us you ask her to pose on your car in a bikini. 21. you might love your car if its a TEG and only a TEG 22. You get fired from your job because all you do all day is sit on your *** and think about what you are going to do next to your car, and surf TI 23. When you park, your always at the Very last spot in the whole parking lot 24. Instead of going into the drivers door right away, you walk towards the passenger door, while staring at the car, and walk your way around the car THEN get in 25. When your girlfriend tells you to SHUT UP because you talk about your car more than her 26. When your in the store ready to buy something, you test it out before buying, You Blow thru the intake and make sure it seems ok, Attempt to put your mouth over 2 of the header pipes and blow to see if it feels ok, and scream VROOM VROOOOOM through the muffler and see if it sounds just right 27. You will talk to anybody who will listen about your teg. (Especially when you're drunk.) 28. You can come up with a hundred reasons why your car is better than your girl's. And make sure she knows it too. 29. When you always look back to check out your car while your walking away after you parked it. 30. when you always park backwards 31. When you fool around with your friend asking "**** who’s car is that!?" while pointing at your own car. 32. When you get that feeling inside your heart that you could spend the rest of your life with her. 33. When you go to eat somewhere, you always make sure you sit near the window so that you can admire the car! 34. When all you do is think about your car, and what your going to do to it next 35. When you clean every **** little detail on the car when you wash it (ex: under the hood, exhaust so it’s all shiny! etc.) 36. You lose water pressure around the house because you wash your car so much. 37. You watch "speed Channel" all the time, even when its crappy NASCAR reruns. 38. You plan your pay checks out for electricity, rent, food, ... car stuff. 39. When you know you'll be driving on a dirt road or a bad surface you ask to borrow someone’s car. 40. You consider it a "nice place to sleep". 41. You get ****** when it's too sunny, because you had planned on waxing it that day. 42. You yell at your passengers for messing up the floor mats. 43. When you put the car in the garage on a nice day because it will dry out the leather(even though you have a sun visor) 44. When you wont drive during or after a rainfall for the sake of not getting water spots on the car 45. If when you're forced to park between two cars (because no other spots are available) you make sure to write down both license plates adjacent to you - just in case! and upon arrival back you perform a thorough inspection to make sure no on touched it 46. When you refuse to take it out in the rain because of possible hail damage. 47. When you buy models and modifiers just so you can stare at your own car all day at the office 48. When your boys pick you up at the crib to go out and your staring at your teg the whole time riding away feeling like your gonna be away from your girlfriend for a long period...the whole time your hoping she safe. lol 49. When you have the choice of giving a model a full body wax or you teg and you pic you teg every time!! 50. You just sit in your car, parked in the garage, for 15 minutes even though you plan to go no where. 51. You actually have dreams of your teg, and have a big smile when you wake up. 52. A bird sh*ts on your newly waxed ride and you act like the teg was hit by a big rig. 53. When you wreck your car and your fellow employees are sad/happy. sad its gone, happy you wont talk about it for 2 months 54. If you rather meet up with the team integra crew rather spend the day with your girlfriend. 55. you forget your girls birthday, but you can remember the first day you sat in the teg 56. you wake up every hour and a half, with a gun in your hand ,and go look out the window to see if it ok 57. When you kick your girl out of the car for touching the stereo. 58. . When you go nuts when someone leaves garbage in your car 59. You tie police tape around the car for added security. 60. People are dirty they will not get in the car. You suggest they take a quick shower and change. (I’ve actually done it.) 61. You won't let anybody eat anything in your car. Except chew gum. 62. You hand passengers a list of rules for riding in your Integra. 63. Think of a way to a destination that will include some fast corners or a high speed run. 64. Keep an "Absorber" (chamois), polish, wax, tire dressing, and rags in the Integra to clean it anytime, anyplace. 65. Seriously ponder the weight reduction of removing the rear wiper, wing, and windshield washer fluid system. 66. You got a divorce or break up with your GF. You tell them I have another baby on the driveway. 67. If you gave him/her a name. And from there on after, refer to the car by the given name. 68. When you refer to your car as a highly expensive sports car, aka: Ferrari. 69. You lock your doors while going to pay for the gas you just put in. 70. You only have $20 lunch money for the whole week but you blow it at the car wash. 71. talking to a friend while standing against the car and the friend says "are you stroking your car?!" and you look down to see you are - very embarrassing 72. Friend dirties floor mat with loose debris, immediately "
SHAKE THAT SH*T OFF!"
73. your bedroom is: bed, clothes, car parts
74. When planning on going out with your bros that night you deflate your tire. later when asked "can you drive?", you point at the tire and say "I have a flat" - did this, works only a few times
75. you read and re-read your owners manual just because its an Integra manual
76. You kick your own mom out of the car for smoking in it when repeated asked. No, told not to - dad wasn't happy about this one.
77. Every time you hear an aftermarket exhaust you run to the window fearing theft....
78. Every time you see a teg of your color you think someone has stolen it, so you run back to where you parked to check....
79. When you know more people who own Tegs than those who own homes....
80. When you work near a local car hang out just to check out Tegs from the window (BNN & Starbucks in MD, I work in BNN)
81. When you're angry at yourself because you can’t think of more of these....
82. When you clean the inside of your exhaust.
83. When you starting referring to basic everyday items as being stock or modified.
84. You have actually had dreams of your teg.
85. You take more pictures of her then you do of your girlfriend.
86. You spend more money on her then your girlfriend.
87. You refer to her as "she, and her" and your girlfriend as "girlfriend"
88. When you open internet explorer and Team Integra pops up as your home page!!
89. "Team Integra" is the welcome message on your cell phone.(Guilty)
90. You keep your racing helmet in the Integra in case you happen to spot an SCCA event going on you didn't know about.
91. You have something very important to do you know you do but you buy a mod instead.
92. Your girlfriend says she has a surprise for you. She shows up with her girlfriend dressed in Victoria’s Secret lingerie...and you can only wonder where the Mugen or Spoon stuff is.
93. you try to convince your girl to buy an integra for her new car
94. tell your girl to take over payments on your 96 RS, so you can go buy a GS-R
95. You alarm your car when all your gonna do is quickly run inside and buy a pack of smokes. You never know whose out to snatch your teggy.
96. You love alarming your car just to hear the cool, "BUP BUP!!!" noise even if u weren’t meaning to go buy smokes but u just needed a place to drive your car to.
97. You park your car in a window visible to where u will be sitting while eating your meal and instead of staring into your sweethearts eyes your staring into your teggy's sweet blue new front lights.
98. Its a hot sunny day and you know its not gonna rain for the next few days and you'd rather spend the lunch money on getting a car wash then rescuing your growling stomach.
99. You blast your stereo just to get attention (YOU KNOW IT!!! ESPECIALLY when your pulled up beside a bus shelter of jealous people)
100. Its a Friday and you notice every spec of dirt on your teg and therefore you don’t feel like going clubbing with your friends because you know your car is not in tip top shape BUT OFCOURSE you don’t tell them the real reason why.
101. You throw away your boyfriends teddy bear and rename your car teggy bear
102. When on lunch, you go outside to check on your car.
103. When the hot girl down the street is outside, you quickly decide to wash your car.
104. When you are on a website for your car all day, everyday.
105. When you have more pictures up at work of your car than your wife. *and wonder why you are getting divorced*
106. When your wife says "You love your car more than me!!" and you think...So?!?!
107. when you turn down orders to go to Germany (making lots of money) just because you have to leave your car
108. When you actually buy another car so you don’t have to use the teg in the rain or snow or bad weather.
109. When you take off your windshield wipers so you make sure you can’t drive in the rain.
110. When you clean it before you use it and after you use it everyday
111. When you put 2 car covers on it every night
112. When they come to your house w/ a straight jacket and finally take you away.
113. When your GF comes up to you and says in a sexy voice (how about we go into the bedroom and I give you a wax job) your reply is how about you go out side give my teg one instead.
114. When your looking through your local auto trading mag. and see a teg and you call the number and spend a half hour convincing the person not to sell it.
115. When it breaks down you cry like a baby who lost its mommy.
116. When your asked to race someone and your reply is no because you don't want to get bugs on it. And you are 100% serious.
117. When your GF tells you it's a piece of crap you get so furious you start screaming at her. You actually consider breaking up with her, for that reason only.-true story.
118. When your car is getting its service done at the dealer and you give them your cell phone #. You hold your phone close to you all day just to make sure they don’t call you and say there isn’t anything wrong with you baby.
119. When you have an extra set of keys to make sure that if she’s in the shop you can steal her over night.
120. When you flinch every time someone shuts your door.
121. When she starts telling you what to do...
122. when you purposely f**k up your parking so no one can park next to you
123. when your mom keeps screaming at you because there is no film left in the house
124. When you get homicidal thoughts toward the guy that rear-ended you.
125. You actually had a really important reason for longing on to the internet, and find yourself logging on to TI instead.
126. when you drive down the street, signs that contain any of the letters I-N-T-E-G-R-A catch your eye
127. when you cut your finger really badly, and when getting into her to go to the ER you think to yourself AT LEAST MY CAR IS OKAY
128. When you wish you could trade whiplash and instead the car would be OK.
129. When you turn down a passionate night of sex because you have to get up early the next morning to wax your teg before the car show...
130. When you double park your teg in the back of an empty lot and it gets spit on by some hilljack domestic driver, you actually call the police and ask if they can do DNA testing to find the culprit.
131. When family and friends call you...the first thing they ask is "how's your car?”(this happens)
132. You wonder why no one has written an Integra Type R love song yet.
133. You purposely cruise by store fronts with big windows that will reflect your car as you roll by.
134. when you background on your computer at work home and in car is a pic of your integra