Used car ad translations

Messages
2,361
Location
Texas
"Project car, good shape, been sitting awhile, this beauty just needs a little Tender Loving Care..." From the Humor Department: here are some common translations, for anyone buying a car... If the ad claims: It really means: All original:Never had anything fixed, adjusted, or replaced Loaded with options:Each one more troublesome than the next Rough condition:Too bad to lie about Parts Car:Beyond repair Immaculate:Recently washed Concours:Recently waxed Engine quiet:Uses 90-weight oil Needs minor work:Needs engine Needs major work:Junkyard doesn't even want it Burns no oil:Because it all leaks out Rebuilt engine:Cleaned the spark plugs Drive it away:Seller lives on a hill Desirable classic:No one wants it Rare classic:No one wanted it, even when it was new Stored 20 years:(in a field) Ran when stored :Won't start Never apart:Bolts too rounded to loosen Solid as a rock:Rusted solid Restored with 0 miles:Won't start Restored with 2 miles:Won't stay running Older restoration:First owner washed it Good investment:Couldn't be worth less No time to restore it:Can't obtain parts 95% complete:Other 5% doesn't exist Interests conflict:"Either that #[email protected]*! thing goes or I go!"
 

RL

Messages
26
Location
Columbus, OH
Work truck: Hit it with the bulldozer once..or twice... Minor dings: Hit it with the skid-steer High Miles: Absolutely everything needs replacing now Low Miles: Everything is dry-rotted Some Rust: 90% of it hidden Runs good: Until you buy it Needs brakes: ...calipers, pads, drums, shoes, rotors, master cylinder, rubber lines, metal lines, parking brake cables...
 
Top