Have you ever heard of
Ubuntu? All of your hassles would be over if using it was feasible for you.
I got a stupid question. Instead of downloading, I asked to have the disk mailed to me, and they did. (Should install it one of these weekends....) Anyway, it was free and it was mailed from the Netherlands. How was this paid for? Do people donate to cover this, or do you pay for tech help or what?