I'm sure this belongs in the 'humor' section, but I thought you oily guys would appreciate it. It's my version of the Marine Corps Creed, "This is my rifle" "This Is My Motor Oil" THIS IS MY MOTOR OIL. There are many like it, but this one is mine. My oil is my best friend. It is my life. I must master it as I master my life. My oil, without me is useless. Without my oil, my car is useless. I must analyze my oil regularly. I must use better oil than my neighbor who wants his car to last longer than mine. I must change mine before he changes his. I will.... My lube oil and myself know that what counts in lubrication is not the ramps we use, the size of our funnel, nor the color of our filter. We know that it is the oil that counts. We will change it... My oil is human, even as I, because it is my life. Thus I will learn it as a brother. I will learn its weakness, its strength, its base stocks, its additives, its TBN, and its flashpoint. I will ever guard it against the ravages of high RPMs and short trips. I will keep my oil clean and ready, even as I am clean and ready. We will become part of each other. We will... Before God I swear this creed. My oil and myself are the defenders of my vehicle. We are the masters of engine wear. We are the saviors of my car’s life. So be it, until there is no wear, but Peace!