Some humor for the GM and Walmart debates

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Wal-Mart Bows to Unions, Copies GM Success Formula
by Scott Ott

(2005-05-04) -- Wal-Mart Stores today surrendered to pressure from labor unions to increase hourly pay for its workers, and began a new corporate campaign to emulate the historical success of the U.S. auto industry.

"Our union critics were right," said H. Lee Scott Jr., Wal-Mart's chief executive, "We have an obligation to behave like General Motors did in the 1960s. And we've come to believe that the discount retail industry is primed for a chain that pays high wages to create the perception of high value through high-priced products. In addition, our focus groups indicate that Wal-Mart customers yearn for the emotional payoff that comes from providing bigger paychecks to the folks in the blue vests."

As part of the reengineering of the company, Wal-Mart will change its slogan from 'Always Low Prices' to 'Always Union Wages'. Prices will be marked up throughout the store, and many products will receive stickers indicating their higher perceived value with words like 'deluxe,' 'grand' and 'limited edition'.

In the short-term, analysts said that investors can expect to see their $48/share Wal-Mart stock (WMT) "level out" around $3 and then begin its upward climb as the store reestablishes its brand identity as the place where Americans shop to provide higher-wage jobs for less fortunate Americans.

"The unions have helped us to understand that we've been looking at the retailing business backward for 50 years," the CEO said. "We mistakenly thought it was all about providing a good selection at the lowest prices so people would shop with us. But what customers really want is the good feeling they get by providing a higher living standard for cashiers, shelf stockers and people greeters. Clearly, our primary responsibility is to pay higher wages so that our workers can afford our subsequently higher prices, or at least be able to buy from other retailers that pay their employees less."

Mr. Scott painted a visionary picture of the new progressive Wal-Mart.

"When our typical shopper pushes her cart full of 'Deluxe Tide' and 'Limited Edition Pampers' out the door, she'll smile when she sees our Wal-Mart Associates' parking area filled with late-model GM trucks and SUVs. Ain't that America?"

From - http://www.scrappleface.com/MT/archives/002181.html
 
This is off topic and ironic. I worked at Meijer's once, where all the workers are UFCW members, and probabally wish they werent. Its in the union contract, you build a store, it has to be union, I made .10 cents more the minimum wage. That was when I was in college, I worked there for one week. I now work at Wal-mart, and made $42k last year, albiet I work at a distribution center, not a store. At christmas time a few years ago, I saw when I walked into the Meijer store, "hiring cashiers" $7.25 per hour. I know for a fact the cashiers at Wal-mart started at $9.00 per hour. So the humor in this is that the "UFCW" is a joke for the central ohio meijer and kroger store workers. Anyone who works in central ohio who is a UFCW worker, PM me if you disagree.
 
quote:

Originally posted by jsharp:
"We mistakenly thought it was all about providing a good selection at the lowest prices so people would shop with us. But what customers really want is the good feeling they get by providing a higher living standard for cashiers, shelf stockers and people greeters.

Of course they do, until they open their wallet.
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Wal-Mart is 5 miles away. The locally owned Ace hardware franchise is a mile away. Not enuff distance difference to matter but....... for the goodies Ace stocks I buy from them 90% of the time.

They pay their "main" workers a living wage while providing the high school kids a shot at their first job.

The managers and asst. managers earn enough to buy homes. And, they are excellent info sources about a bewildering variety of around-the-house goodies; from plumbing to electrical to gardening, you name it: one of them has the answer.

Sure, I may pay more, possibly a couple hundred bucks over a year's time but, my discretionary dollars support a decent lifestyle for neighbors, I get lots of good free advice (try getting that at Wal-Mart) and a large percentage of my money stays local without being siphoned off to Arkansas billionaires.
 
If you ever calculate how much it costs to buy something, from car costs to the value of your time driving 5 miles to the store, and walking across the huge parking lot, standing in line for 10 minutes, and finally driving home, you'll find that Wal Mart is actually much more more expensive than the corner stores used to be, unless you're buying 100's of dollars worth of stuff there every time.

Unfortunately, those corner stores aren't in business anymore.

If you want to find me in a Wal Mart store, I'm the guy running along the aisles, since it takes three or four minuts if you walk from one end to the other. I save time, and get some jogging exercise.
 
Walmart only cares about how much profit it makes. And their store and district managers are only concerned that 'same store sales' increase every year. I understand people don't like making a poverty wage. Before I joined the Air Force I worked at a Walmart in here in FL. I was 17 years old and making $3.55 an hour
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(20 cents above minimum wage) this was back in 1988. What I noticed about my Walmart coworkers, most were content with their jobs at Walmart, but disliked what they were getting paid.

If you don't like making such low wages, go back to school and get the education / training needed to provide a better future for yourself. BTW, customers don't care about the poverty wages at Walmart......they just care about the "ALWAYS LOW PRICES"
 
Just remember that the people a that work at wal-mar are human too. Everyone is different and just because something happens at one store doesn't mean they are all the same.

And since this IS the humor section.
Sometimes I enter through the automotive section, better parking, usually quicker checkout and I get to see the automotive section right away.
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quote:

Originally posted by oilyriser:
If you ever calculate how much it costs to buy something.......

The extra time I could waste a a big box store could be better spent with my kid.

Looking at it from a strictly monitary view, each minute I waste there would be worth about 50 cents to me in my own wages. So much for saving ten cents a quart for M1. When that extra 10c goes toward the additional $4 bucks an hour, health benefits, and 401K of the non-Walmart worker, I can spend it for better service at a convenient location with a better compensated worker.
 
quote:

Originally posted by mormit:

quote:

Originally posted by oilyriser:
If you ever calculate how much it costs to buy something.......

The extra time I could waste a a big box store could be better spent with my kid.

Looking at it from a strictly monitary view, each minute I waste there would be worth about 50 cents to me in my own wages. So much for saving ten cents a quart for M1. When that extra 10c goes toward the additional $4 bucks an hour, health benefits, and 401K of the non-Walmart worker, I can spend it for better service at a convenient location with a better compensated worker.


My time is valuable as well. So if I can go to a Wal*Mart Super Center and buy groceries, household goods, underwear, socks, and car care items, I save a lot of both time and money.

While I change my own oil and rotate my own tires, I see the wisdom behind having that Tire and Lube center there for mom's who need to multi-task.

Now, if the self-checkout machines would be more robust. I can save time if the machines are working because there are usually no lines. However, human checkers are still faster than the machine. I just don't care to stand in line.

TB
 
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