Single parenting, who knew

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If I told you that in 1984 President Ronald Reagan had established National Single Parent Day on March 21 each year, there’s a really good chance your response would be, "Well, I’ve never heard of thahttps://www.foxnews.com/opinion/secret-life-single-parent-national-single-parents-day-robert-beeson
t. I had no idea." You’re in good company because most people don’t know about a day set aside to recognize these parents.

But because 34% of U.S. homes—yes, one out of three—are headed up by a solo mom or dad, isn’t it time we re-established this annual day in our country?

Of course, any mom is eligible to be celebrated on Mother’s Day and any dad on Father’s Day, but single parents deserve a special day to be recognized and applauded for their valiant efforts in singlehandedly raising their children. In fact, that’s why we are also dubbing this day—March 21, 2021—as Super-Hero Sunday.

Single parent statistics from 2019 suggest that there are 15 million single-mother families in the US, which is three times more than there were in 1960. (Wealthy Single Mommy) A quarter of US families are headed by a single parent, 80% of which are run by a single mom.
 
The low stats for African Americans is largely due to the war on drugs policies of the late sixties and seventies, made the sellers of pot pay a very high price for their activity, sending many fathers to jail for very long terms, breaking the family dynamic for a generation.
We're through that generational war on pot.
Do we see a significant improvement on the single parent AA household numbers?
 
I think there’s more to it than drugs. Culture (not a racial comment, various groups, situations etc) changes in the USA are driving this. And I don’t think that the failed marriages of the boomers have helped. It’s caused the pendulum to swing in different and IMO worse ways for the next generations... things we won’t understand until the kids are older and potentially messed up... or figure out a better way for them. Perhaps the substantial number of mid-late 30 somethings unmarried, and low 40-somethings not yet married or married without kids, is part of the way.

Thst said, hard working single parents, trying to do what’s best for their kids.... that’s a hard life.
 
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The low stats for African Americans is largely due to the war on drugs policies of the late sixties and seventies, made the sellers of pot pay a very high price for their activity, sending many fathers to jail for very long terms, breaking the family dynamic for a generation.
I do not believe that propaganda for one second. The single reason for the huge demographic change during that time period to single parent families (mothers overwhelmingly) in the African American community was financial incentives provided by Great Society and The War on Poverty welfare programs that penalized households with a live in father.
My mother was a social worker in Los Angeles County from the mid 60s to early 80s. She administered Aid to Families with Dependent Children (AFDC), among other duties. Under the rules of the program, if she caught a father living in the household during one of her visits, the family was disqualified from the program.
When you incentivize single parent households, you get more of them. Period. Programs designed to help have done immeasurable damage. I'll blame this on the law on unintended consequences, with no political motives referenced or implied.
 
I raised my son on my own from when he was 6 years old. The judge ordered my wife to not be within 1K yards of him, NEVER email, mail, call, or talk to him until he is 18, or when she received help for her drug and alcohol abuse. Also, NEVER flip a judge off and walk out of the court room. The judge WILL make an example of you (jail time)!
 
I raised my son on my own from when he was 6 years old. The judge ordered my wife to not be within 1K yards of him, NEVER email, mail, call, or talk to him until he is 18, or when she received help for her drug and alcohol abuse. Also, NEVER flip a judge off and walk out of the court room. The judge WILL make an example of you (jail time)!
My hat off to you...I don't know how you did it. "Alone" would have to be a terrifying word when it comes to being responsible for forming another life, age 0 to 18, and usually beyond. I don't have kids, because I would likely make a lousy father. I'm just glad I realized that about myself before diving into that life.
 
My hat off to you...I don't know how you did it. "Alone" would have to be a terrifying word when it comes to being responsible for forming another life, age 0 to 18, and usually beyond. I don't have kids, because I would likely make a lousy father. I'm just glad I realized that about myself before diving into that life.
Thank You Sir!
My son and I are best friends. I would crawl thru HADES for him! If he needs me ANY TIME of the day or night, I am there for him. As he was growing up I NEVER lifted a finger to punish him. I punished him by taking his favorite things away. The worst punishment for him was when I took his outside time away. Sure, he played video games. But, playing outdoor sports is all he ever wanted to do as a child, and growing up.
Also, my son NEVER had any run ins with the law.
 
I think this has to some extend do with how we used to "force the parent to give up the child" in the past to "it is better to have a single parent than foster care or orphanage" today.

Raising kids as single parents are tough, and it is not the same thing as "teenage parent". I know a few single parents at work and many are highly educated and professional, things do happen as people die or divorce due to unusual circumstances too. Some, just wanted to adopt children despite them either never married or widowed at early age (i.e. late 30s).

The world is changing, families have fewer kids now compare to before, and most parents understand it is better to have fewer kids and raise them better prepared for the future (i.e. better jobs, better health, etc), and many are ok not having kids. Sometimes there are incentive in the society to keep others from raising bad kids, but that may get into some political debates. Birth control is the best thing ever for developed world, to both married and unmarried populations.
 
When my son was 12 my wife died in a car accident and from that point I raised my son by myself. I had to make some big changes because at the time my work required a great deal of travel and I could not do this any longer and be there for my son. My son's grandparents were living in the area and they were a big help. At age 17, my kid went off to university on the right coast. He's been back for over half a year but will return to school soon. In the meantime he's been doing an internship with a firm that may well be his future employer. I feel for single parents who are stuck between having to work 5/7, 6/7 or even 7/7, and take care of their kids. There's only so much time to do everything that needs doing, and to do it well..
 
I raised my son on my own from when he was 6 years old. The judge ordered my wife to not be within 1K yards of him, NEVER email, mail, call, or talk to him until he is 18, or when she received help for her drug and alcohol abuse. Also, NEVER flip a judge off and walk out of the court room. The judge WILL make an example of you (jail time)!

Except for the flipping off part, I'm in your same boat as of January 2020, and for the same reasons too. Son is 10 and we're doing great.
 
My niece is raising 2 sets of twin girls on her own. Her husband (my nephew Tim) died tragically about 9 years ago.
The older twins are 20; one is in the Marine Corps. She got deathly sick in Kuwait and is back at Camp Pendleton; her Mom is with her.
I am here in Arlington, TX with the other 3; I go home tomorrow. I was also here a month ago.
Luci and Lilli are 13 or 14 now, I forget.

Wendy is amazing. I help where I can. They come back to CA in the summer, as they have no family in TX.
We take the girls to the local colleges to get them familiar. Of course they were impressed with the Stanford campus, but they fell in love with San Jose State. I have committed to their college if they should choose to do go.
Wendy and the girls are one of the best parts of my life. They have been so good to me.
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Closing this down as its political commentary and an old worn out dead horse topic at best

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