"love to see downtown shantyville or other areas of interest for the tourist in us all." A glutton for punishment!!!!!!!! A shanty. A small speck on a planet. A smaller speck dwells within the shanty. A miniscule cootish mote approximately half-way between the size of an electron and the Milky Way galaxy. Some pundits say the universe. Relative sizing still debated. Isaac Asimov wrote about thos relative sizing. Check it out. Let us peer at the planet portion below The red dot covers the shanty and the immediate locale. East is to the right. Upper right corner with dark splotch is a golf course. Coot never seen there. Lower left corner is upper-middle class and higher, some parts MUCH higher. Some corporate execs with their mini-mansions there. Oldest part of town at and around the red splotch. Old downtown to right of splotch. Largest north/south vertical line is highway through town; 4-lane not divided. To the highway’s right is the newer part of town though expansion is underway with new firms building alongside the north/south highway towards the bottom of the picture. Semi-cloverleaf interchange visible at bottom with main highway intersecting. Much construction, expect this area to eventually be the new heart of the retail sector. Due to terrain constrictions shanty area protected from sprawl.... along with the reputation of the crotchety old [email protected] residing in the area. Did you know that in 12 years or so there has never been a trick-or-treater appearing at the shanty door? West of the shanty, a three-minute walk at most, is a park. It has a M-60 tank. Doesn't work. Tried but no go. Hatch welded shut. Several baseball fields, tennis court, picnic benches, etc. Nice park, But, doesn't seem to get a lot of use. Horse shoe tossing pits in background. Never seen 'em used. Old Lincoln Highway in background. It's statistics time!!!!! Shantyville compared to state averages: Median household income above state average. Unemployed percentage significantly below state average. Black race population percentage significantly below state average. Hispanic race population percentage significantly below state average. Foreign-born population percentage significantly below state average. Renting percentage significantly below state average. Number of rooms per house above state average. Number of shanties: data not revealed. Number of Old Coots: respondents refused to answer Park above has one high-use section, the skateboard park!!! Wheeee!!!!! Note lack of leaves and brown grass in this pic. It's Fall in Shantyville. Four true full seasons here. Bitter cold, sorta' in-between, blazingly hot and humid then sorta' in-between. The in-between seasons are the shortest. Mixed in with spring and summer is tornado and severe thunderstorm season and winter is cold severe storm season with a blizzard-like storm now-and-then. Weather is one reason the entire state's population is smaller than most major cities. Maybe ALL major cities. 1,700,000 or so humans and one Old Coot (tm). A revealing picture. Look at parking lot in background. Behind it is a football/soccer field, the one to the south of the shanty. Building behind kid's head is hamlet-owned and blocks view of shanty's front yard. Further back, out of sight but only a few minute's walk away is the old downtown. Let's go look at it!!!!! First stop on our old downtown tour is the male’s barber shop. Average user is 300 years old and is stern, taciturn and likely speaks, at most, 30 sentences per year. Those old curmudgeons make Old Coot seem like the life of the party. Coot quit using this barber a few years ago. Byron the barber. More commonly known as Byron the Butcher. Great guy but he has medical problems and shakes, a lot. Grew tired of bloody ears from nicks and scrapes. Getting a haircut turned into an adventure. Note the traffic enforcement sign. Always wondered if its placement was a coincidence or an inside joke amongst the local powers-that-be. The main street of the old downtown is named.... Main Street. Real creative folks here in the cultural backwater. We're looking south. Building has been there since shortly after the Ark grounded and has hosted a multitude of firms. Latest is a BBQ joint. Coot's sold a few tomatoes to the owner over the years, and other local firms that revel in fresh, tasty Coot-brand tomatoes. Coot, the local tomato king. At the south end of the BBQ joint a street is visible. Turn right, go three blocks, look to the right for the only gravel driveway and stop, do not enter. That's where the weirdo lives. The one that had all those "keep out" signs and with the unruly "lawn." Lawn Boy will tell you all about the guy who refuses to follow local norms and become infatuated with a lawn. Different view of the BBQ joint, looking north. Further up, the business district turns into residential with a few shanties but not of the caliber of the real shanty. Shantyville or Honkeyville? Look at this typical dwelling in this area (outside the small ghetto area near the old downtown where the shanty thrives) Look at the vermin trying to emulate the shanty's southern plantation look with those phony columns!!!! Well, Shantyville IS in the northern section of Tornado Alley: Elkhorn-area historical tornado activity is near Nebraska state average. It is 96% greater than the overall U.S. average. On 5/6/1975, a category 4 (max. wind speeds 207-260 mph) tornado 13.8 miles away from the Elkhorn city center killed 3 people and injured 133 people and caused between $50,000 and $500,000 in damages. On 4/25/1957, a category 4 tornado 15.9 miles away from the city center killed one person and injured 8 people and caused between $500,000 and $5,000,000 in damages. Omitted are the straight-winds that regularly cause hundreds-of-thousands of dollars of damage. We do get a lot of tornado warnings but have been lucky. They like to begin forming above us but don’t touch down until they reach Iowa, around 30 miles away. Nogoodniks: City-data.com crime index (higher means more crime, U.S. average = 325.2) Our 2005 average: 6,785.4 Hee hee, fooled yah'. Here it is: 55.7 Supposedly, Shantyville is the geopolitical entity within Nebraska with the highest average income: Most common occupations for males Top executives (10%) Other management occupations except farmers and farm managers (7%) Sales representatives, services, wholesale and manufacturing (7%) Other production occupations including supervisors (5%) Other sales and related workers including supervisors (5%) Computer specialists (4%) Retail sales workers except cashiers (4%) The "top executives" is what skews the averages. Omaha, Nebraska's largest city and a regional hub, is home-base for several major corporations. The rich folks escape the city to Shantyville, within commuting distance of Omaha. Doesn't take too many mega-millionaires to affect average income. There’s still a sizable percentage of the populace with above-average incomes. A few of the folks Coot ran off from parking on the shanty's lawn and driveway were likely some of the affluent folks. Never saw a beater car parked there, just expensive machines. Speaking of expensive machinery, Ferraris run around here, Saw a pristine Detomaso Pantera the other day. A wide variety of valuable and rare machines. One of the coolest was an AmphiCar parked at the grocery store. Checked it out and talked to the owner when he came out. This pic is from a club Web site but it's the same car and dude: Wanna' buy a bowling alley? It's across the highway, east of the old downtown. A new bowling alley is being erected, yes, Shantyville has an erection, down by the new interchange. Very conservative area here, kids. Hee hee. Thought about making a banner and some dark night hanging it on the old bowling alley..."Coming Soon!!! Lance's Lusty Ladies Strip Club and adult novelty store." The outcry would likely be heard from sea to shining sea. If only Coot could win the Lotto and afford to perform a few pranks. Since we're in the "new" but not "newest" retail area let's look at where Coot used to work on weekends and some nights: Worked in the deli of this small independent grocery store that burned down a year ago last January (Substituted at local schools during the day). Coot got to eat free!!!! Wheeee!!!! Not a bad job all-in-all. Had its moments. Coot knew how to handle picky customers...."That's too thick, I wanted it sliced thinner." Well, I didn't want to slice it thinner, would take a week to slice it that thin, so I told them that was how they were gonna' get it, take it or leave it. Only a couple left, the rest took it. Spoiled Americans!!!! Then there were the biddies (why is it always females?) who took forever to decide what they wanted. After what I deemed a suitable interval I told the lingerers they had 30-seconds or I would decide for them. Most would meet the time limit but there were a few I ended up deciding for, and they seemed to appreciate it!!!! We sure had good fried chicken there. Coot made it best. I altered the breading recipe and fry time. People actually waited for me to be there to buy the Coot-cooked chicken. When I took stuff home I paid for it, but I put the prices on. Wonderful discounts but the owners didn't care, they must have figured that was my benefit package. Coot sure kept the adjacent butchers giggling while interacting with the customers. At first they were shocked at my antics but soon realized how effective they were at increasing productivity along with entertaining most, but not all, of the customers. One old bat told the manager she was never coming back because of me. Manager inquired about the event but I just told him we were lucky to be rid of the old bat. Manager walked off, dropping the subject. Amazing what one can get away with at times. Too bad the place burned to the ground. Another corporate creep trying to emulate the shanty's southern plantation columns: Might be where the old bat who never came back to the store lives. Hussy. Bet her lawn's perfect, too. Maybe Lawn Boy and she should hook up. Ace hardware behind Dick's Market along with a small "strip mall" scaled down to Shantyville size. A few of those "strip malls" here and there: New apartments Bricked section of the Old Lincoln Highway, just east of the hamlet: More demographics!!!!! Daytime population change due to commuting: -1,659 (-27.4%) Workers who live and work in this city: 461 (15.0%) Median real estate property taxes paid for housing units in 2000: Elkhorn: 1.8% ($2,386) Nebraska: 1.7% ($1,478) Median.... I forget... isn't that the midway point between extremes? High property taxes back here. Let's go out in the country and look north. Look closely, way off in the distance. See the round thing sticking above the trees? That's the Shantyville water tower. Note the back-hoe. Urban sprawl is one result of the "immigration" policies and non-policies destined to result in a BILLION people in the USA. Some day, all this extremely fertile farm land will be covered with houses, streets, businesses, etc. Sigh.............. There. Hope you’re happy. Just don’t move here. It’s too crowded already. When certain events are concluded Coot will be free to move. Hoping to find a very rural place far from any large city. Out where shanties can be bought for 15- to 20-grand. When it happens…….. nope, no pics. Coot gonna’ hide. You betcha’.