My wild speculation. The vehicle was hit in the right rear quarter panel. When the repairs were done the wires were not properly protected and put safely back in place. This is the reason the SUV was traded in, yet was greatly maintained. Nobody could figure out the weird issues associated with unfirm electric connections.
The latest owner could not get the price blem fixed, and arranged to have the vehicle stolen. One can't steal this model without the keys. The tools were left in place to make the theft look proper. The crack pipes were staged.
I am now tracking down which I think most likely are a shorted wire to ground.
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