Resignation letter

Not open for further replies.
May 27, 2002
Canberra ACT Australia
As an employee of an institution of higher education, I have a few very basic expectations. Chief among these is that my direct superiors have an intellect that ranges above the common ground squirrel. After your consistent and annoying harassment of myself and my co-workers during the commission of our duties, I can only surmise that you are one of the few true genetic wastes of our time. Asking me, a network administrator, to explain every little nuance of everything I do each time you happen to stroll into my office is not only a waste of time, but also a waste of precious oxygen. I was hired because I know about Unix, and you were apparently hired to provide amusement to myself and other employees, who watch you vainly attempt to understand the concept of "cut and paste" for the hundredth time. You will never understand computers. Something as incredibly simple as binary still gives you too many options. You will also never understand why people hate you, but I am going to try and explain it to you, even though I am sure this will be just as effective as telling you what an IP is.

Your shiny new iMac has more personality than you ever will. You walk around the building all day, shiftlessly looking for fault in others.

You have a sharp dressed useless look about you that may have worked for your interview, but now that you actually have responsibility, you pawn it off on overworked staff, hoping their talent will cover for your glaring ineptitude. In a world of managerial evolution, you are the blue-green algae that everyone else eats and laughs at.

Managers like you are a sad proof of the Dilbert principle. Seeing as this situation is unlikely to change without you getting a full frontal lobotomy reversal, I am forced to tender my resignation, however I have a few parting thoughts.

1. When someone calls you in reference to employment, it is illegal to give me a bad recommendation. The most you can say to hurt me is "I prefer not to comment." I will have friends randomly call you over the next couple of years to keep you honest, because I know you would be unable to do it on your own.

2. I have all the passwords to every account on the system, and I know every password you have used for the last five years. If you decide to get cute, I am going to publish your "favourites list", which I conveniently saved when you made me "back up" your useless files. I do believe that terms like "Lolita" are not usually viewed favourably by the administration.

3. When you borrowed the digital camera to "take pictures of your mothers b-day", you neglected to mention that you were going to take pictures of yourself in the mirror nude. Then you forgot to erase them like the techno-moron you really are. Suffice it to say I have never seen such odd acts with a ketchup bottle, but I assure you that those have been copied and kept in safe places pending the authoring of a glowing letter of recommendation. (Try to use a spell check please, I hate having to correct your mistakes.)

Thank you for your time, and I expect the letter of recommendation on my desk by 8:00 am tomorrow. One word of this to anybody, and all of your little twisted repugnant obsessions will be open to the public. Never f*** with your systems administrators, because they know what you do with all your free time.

Originally posted by sprintman:
A bit. Trying to stop thinking of my dental visit tomorrow for a new crown.

That explains the itchy "post" button!

Good luck...

I would've loved to write a similar resignation when I left my former job ealier this year. However, I needed to leave on "good terms" to collect my unused vacation & personal leave. I had written many letters to the CEO in the past regarding management and she seemed to defend them instead of fixing the problems. I even offered easy fixes to some problems instead of just complaining. Nothing ever changed. Once they even offered to promote me to supervisior(in an attempt to shut me up?). I declined.

After I turned in a two week notice, I had to meet with her and fill out paperwork. One was the typical exit form that included questions of why I was leaving and and suggestions to make things better. I left it blank and told her I had made all the suggestions I needed to.

About a week later, one of my supervisors threatened to write me up for insubordination, costing me my leaving on good terms (and about $3000). I told him if he does, it'll just reinforce the reason I was leaving. That shut him up for the rest of the day.

Sprintman's post is more truth than humor.
sprintman - thank GOD my employees are too stupid to do that to me........because it might actually work on me.

Yes people have done stupid crap like that with work digital cameras. I have my own SD card.
having had a crazy year with my employer of 17 years it is finally over, I had to get an attorney and resolve the problems but my last day was 10/15. Severance is great as is not working. It is amazing the hassle, crap and bull that today's workers put up with, everone seems to have a motive for doing something and it is usually self promotion and greed. Co worker issues, management issues, politics, bureaucracy the list goes on. Some days I feel that if I have to live on cat food I would rather do that then go back to work for any company.
Not open for further replies.