Proposals for the Laws of Oil Change

[pidster]

Once you see just how long it takes for the oil trickle, and finally slow drip takes to stop coming out of the drain hole, even on a fully heated engine, you will realize that a GOOD and thorough oil change cannot be done in quicklube time. You will come to appreciate having you drainplug and oil filter tightened ENOUGH, and not needing a breaker bar to remove the plug after quicklube joints are done with it. And having the oil filled EXACTLY to the full line on the dipstick.

That having an oilchange done by a shop will never feel like a REAL oil change again.

 

[XtremeLeO]

breeze genie? lol

 

[UncleS2]

Originally Posted By: millerbl00
If you help change the oil once in a friends car and the car dies 300000 miles later its you fault.


Yes sir!

And this:
Not only will anything that can go wrong do so- you'll eventually find something that *Can't* go wrong- but goes wrong anyway. Sometimes spectacularly wrong.

 

[The Critic]

If you cannot finish the oil change in 15 minutes or less once tools are out, you are either inexperienced, incompetent or not working fast enough.

 

[SteveSRT8]

no speed here. I've always used the oil change as a time to inspect and detail the side of the vehicle you rarely see.

I might spend 20 minutes!

 

[PW01]

While you are under there, you will inadvertently find that some other component of the vehicle needs attention.

 

[olddognewtrks]

When you finally get the hot drain plug unscrewed (which was oozing hot oil drops onto your tender fingertips and wrist) it WILL fall into the exact center of the drain-container hole, plug it, and hot oil will begin to fill the shallow area. You say "oh darn", and burn the heck out of your hand and fingers fishing the HOT metal drain plug out of a pool of HOT oil, (assuming you have triple jointed arms) all the while sloshing the container around, which is trying to overflow onto EVERYTHING. If you're lucky, you'll only spill about a half-cup's worth. And as the hot oil slows to a thin dribble, the Breeze Genie shows up. Don't ask me how I know.

 

[Garak]

Originally Posted By: olddognewtrks
And as the hot oil slows to a thin dribble, the Breeze Genie shows up. Don't ask me how I know.


And my dad always thought I was nuts for insisting the garage door be closed when I changed oil, regardless of how hot the weather was. The Breeze Genie is the last thing I need showing up during my oil changes; I'm messy enough as it is.

 

[MetalSlug]

Dont forget to brought a beer while under the car.

Your garage door knob is cover with oil, cause you running in for paper tower, while your hand is full out oil. and forgot to wipe the door knob, until your wife or family member touch it hehe and got that oil smell in their hand hehhe.

You alway want to cut the old oil filter apart, after changing the oil, but dont have the tool for it. hahhah

 

[Garak]

Originally Posted By: CamaroT56
Dont forget to brought a beer while under the car.


No, no. Good in theory, bad in practice, at least for me. It would be tipped over in seconds, I'm sure. Anything under the car with me is in grave danger of being tipped over or kicked out of reach.

Originally Posted By: CamaroT56
Your garage door knob is cover with oil, cause you running in for paper tower, while your hand is full out oil. and forgot to wipe the door knob, until your wife or family member touch it hehe and got that oil smell in their hand hehhe.


Been there.

 

[Garak]

Well, I jinxed myself. I usually make a mess, but I outdid myself this time. First, I dropped the plug into the pan. That's one mistake I rarely make, maybe once every five years. Well, today was the day. While trying to fish it out, the oil drain was slowing, and I didn't notice how far back the stream had gone, and was out of the drain bucket, onto the floor. Sheesh. On the positive side, I put a Fumoto in, so I won't be dropping the plug again anytime soon.

 

[Acroy]

12) The plug is always on there a bit tighter than expected, even if you were the last person to change the oil. You will use progressively bigger wrenches, and wriggle yourself into progressivly more interesting shapes, to apply enough force to the wrench to loosen. And when it does finally, suddenly loosen, you will invariable either slip & throw the wrench, get hot oil all over your hand, bark your hand quite painfully, or all 3.

 

[stranger706]

13) When you are young and before knowing much about cars from other countries, you will argue with your friend that there is NO WAY ON EARTH his rear engine, modern 6 cylinder sports car from Germany contains 12 quarts of oil and insisting that a 10 quart pan will be PLENTY. Wrong!