Pocket Taser Stun Gun, a great gift for the wife!

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Mar 24, 2010
Pocket Taser Stun Gun, a great gift for the wife!

A guy who purchased his lovely wife a pocket Taser for their
anniversary submitted this:

Last weekend I saw something at Larry's Pistol & Pawn Shop that
sparked my interest. The occasion was our 15th anniversary and I was looking for
a little something extra for my wife Julie. What I came across was a
100,000-volt, pocket/purse-sized Taser.

The effects of the Taser were supposed to be short lived, with no long
Term adverse effect on your assailant, allowing her adequate time to
retreat to safety.

WAY TOO COOL! Long story short, I bought the device and brought it
home...I loaded two AAA batteries in the darn thing and pushed the button.

Nothing! I was disappointed. I learned, however, that if I pushed
the button and pressed it against a metal surface at the same time, I'd
get the blue arc of electricity darting back and forth between the prongs.

AWESOME!!! Unfortunately, I have yet to explain to Julie what that
burn spot is on the face of her microwave.

Okay, so I was home alone with this new toy, thinking to myself that
it couldn't be all that bad with only two AAA batteries, right?

There I sat in my recliner, my cat Gracie looking on intently
(trusting little soul) while I was reading the directions and thinking that I
really needed to try this thing out on a flesh & blood moving target.

I must admit I thought about zapping Gracie (for a fraction of a
second), and then thought better of it. She is such a sweet cat. But, if I was
going to give this thing to my wife to protect herself against a mugger, I
did want some assurance that it would work as advertised.

Am I wrong?

So, there I sat in a pair of shorts and a tank top with my reading
glasses perched delicately on the bridge of my nose, directions in one hand,
and Taser in another.

The directions said that a one-second burst would shock and disorient your assailant;
a two-second burst was supposed to cause muscle spasms and a major
loss of bodily control; and

a three-second burst would purportedly make your assailant flop on
the ground like a fish out of water.

Any burst longer than three seconds would be wasting the batteries.
All the while I'm looking at this little device measuring about 5"
long, less than 3/4 inch in circumference (loaded with two itsy, bitsy AAA
batteries); pretty cute really, and thinking to myself, 'no possible way!'

What happened next is almost beyond description, but I'll do my

I'm sitting there alone, Gracie looking on with her head cocked to one
side so as to say, ' Don 't do it stupid,' reasoning that a one second
burst from such a tiny lil ole thing couldn't hurt all that bad.. I decided
to give myself a one second burst just for heck of it.

I touched the prongs to my naked thigh, pushed the button, and...


I'm pretty sure Hulk Hogan ran in through the side door, picked me up
in the recliner, then body slammed us both on the carpet, over and over
and over again. I vaguely recall waking up on my side in the fetal
position, with tears in my eyes, body soaking wet, both nipples on fire,
testicles nowhere to be found, with my left arm tucked under my body in the
oddest position, and tingling in my legs! The cat was making meowing sounds I
had never heard before, clinging to a picture frame hanging above the
fireplace, obviously in an attempt to avoid getting slammed by my
body flopping all over the living room.

If you ever feel compelled to 'mug' yourself with a Taser,
one note of caution:

There is NO such thing as a one second burst when you zap yourself!

You will not let go of that thing until it is dislodged from your hand by
a violent thrashing about on the floor!

A three second burst would be considered conservative!

A minute or so later (I can't be sure, as time was a relative thing at
that point), I collected my wits (what little I had left), sat up and
surveyed the landscape.

My bent reading glasses were on the mantel of the fireplace.

The recliner was upside down and about 8 feet or so from where
it originally was.

My triceps, right thigh and both nipples were still twitching.

My face felt like it had been shot up with Novocain, and my
bottom lip weighed 88 lbs.

I had no control over the drooling.

Apparently I had [censored] in my shorts, but was too numb to know
for sure, and my sense of smell was gone.

I saw a faint smoke cloud above my head, which I believe came
from my hair.

I'm still looking for my testicles and I'm offering a significant
reward for their safe return!

PS: My wife can't stop laughing about my experience, loved the gift
and now regularly threatens me with it!

If you think education is difficult, try being stupid!!!!
Funny story, that guy is absolutely nuts though.
On a side note, I bought my mom pepperspray about 5 years ago. I "tested it" on my self by accident, some stray lint in the nossle was bothering me, so I tried to pull it out. In the process sprayed myself. I was teary and gasping for air for a good 30 minutes. It was absolute fire on my face all night. Lesson of the story: Pepperspray works!
The danger with all such weapons is having them taken away from you by the person you intended to use them upon. The guys in the old movies who hold a pistol at their sides are a great example of how not to do it. Never get too close.
Originally Posted By: FirstNissan
Funny story, that guy is absolutely nuts though.
On a side note, I bought my mom pepperspray about 5 years ago. I "tested it" on my self by accident, some stray lint in the nossle was bothering me, so I tried to pull it out. In the process sprayed myself. I was teary and gasping for air for a good 30 minutes. It was absolute fire on my face all night. Lesson of the story: Pepperspray works!

One of the guys I work with is totally unaffected by it. Years of eating incredibly hot food (his hot salsa borders on WMD status & will eat through a plastic bowl) have given him a very hi tolerance.
The first time I read this a couple years back I laughed so hard I cried and almost fell off my chair. I have a close buddy that I could see doing this no problem!
Funny - but not based on fact.

I've been trained and I've been Tased (as part of our mandatory training).

"Taser" is a brand name; my BIL works for them as an engineer, and I use one when on duty. Most folks use the word "Taser" as they use the word "Kleenex" for facial tissues. Not all electronic incapcitation devices are "Tasers", but people group them that way mentally. "Taser" has become a word of convenience.

There is no "Taser" product that specifically operates (or has instructions similar to) the initial humor post as quoted. There are multiple models; law enforcement and civilian, and large animal. As the market broadens, so does their product line.

To be sure, that joking story line is funny, but it's not accurate, at least to a Taser brand weapon. I don't mean to take away from the humor; I admit it's darn funny and I can laugh at it. Just don't want people to think that's really the results of a Taser deployment. There is no smoke; you don't convulse enough to throw furniture about the home, etc. All the incidental stuff is pretty much "poetic license" exaggeration to make the humor line more appealing that it really is.

I've been Tased (we use the Taser X26 LE version); I took the "full ride" as they call it in training. Let's just say it sucks way more than you could imagine and leave it at that.
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Actually, a stun gun (NOT a Tazer, a contact stun gun) certainly can cause smoke...it can ignite cloth or paper.

I watched one idiot zap a rag with one and nearly wet his pants when it started burning. (Remarkably, he was sober.)
Any of the tools that use high-energy voltage dissipation can have the ability to create a heat-induced event (smoke or fire). But it ONLY happens when the "path of least resistance" is flamable and won't conduct well. Nearly any carbon-based item will "ignite" given enough of the three components (energy for ignition, fuel, and oxygen).

The reason you watched an "idiot" set a rag on fire is because he allowed the arc to ignite the cloth, which is a poor conductor. High energy + high resistance = temp spike that causes fire. (He supplied the three legs of the fire triangle; heat, fuel, oxygen). There are, quite literally, millions of "spark ignition" tools in the world. They are used in ICEs, gas grills, furnaces, gas dryers, ovens, etc, etc, etc. The reason the "idiot" set a rag on fire is because he set up conditions different from the joke in this thread, and because he used the tool in a manner other than which it was intended. Anything can be misused/abused given the right combination of idiot and circumstances.

However, in the storyline, the guy held it to his "naked thigh". Here the direct pathway is via his skin. While there can be localized reddish burn marks, making full contact eliminates the "acring". It is the arcing that causes things to ignite and therefore "smoke". If you properly "drive stun" someone with a stun tool, you make full contact with the metal conductors, and there is (in all likelyhood) no smoke whatsoever. Skin is very conductive because of the very high moisture content, and therefore passes energy easily. Low resistance makes for an effective tool, and very little cause for fire or smoke because the energy is traveling well. Low resistance equates to no localized temp rise (at least not high enough to ignite the skin).

It's no different that being shocked by any other electricity, as far as burns are concerned. Light touching to a conductor will cause localized surface burns due to poor conduction. But solid contact often leaves very little outward evidence, but terrible deep tissue damage. Often, the exit point is much worse than the entry point. Tasers and other stun guns have incredible voltage but very minimal amperage, so the tissue damage is surface related, if it happens at all; there is no deep tissue damage.

Also, stun tools only work in the area that you place them. To put a stun gun (even a Taser) to a local point would only make local effect. He put it to his thigh; only the thigh would be effected and not his entire body. The reason a true "Taser" is often very effective is because the projectile probes are deployed out from the weapon, and make contact over a wide area, thereby causing an overall central-nervous system overload.

In the story line, if the guy held the tool to his "naked thigh" as stated, there would have been no smoke or fire, and the impact would have only been to his thigh, and not his whole body.

Like I said; I've been Tased in our training. I've seen real drive-stuns. Every single time we strap on a Taser, we "test fire" the tool to assure it's function. I was merely pointing out that, as funny as this joke is, it's not reality. You don't convulse enough to make furniture fly about the room, you don't evacuate all your bodily functions, you don't catch fire when good contact is made. The joke is just that; it's entertainment. It's not reality. And I bring this up because there are people who would read this humor post, and think that's what happens in reality; nothing could be further from the truth.
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