Perfect Husband

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Dec 15, 2017
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On another site
THE PERFECT HUSBAND Several men are in the locker room of a golf club. A cellular phone on a bench rings and a man engages the hands-free speaker function and begins to talk. Everyone else in the room stops to listen. MAN: "Hello" WOMAN: "Hi Honey, it's me. Are you at the club?" MAN: "Yes." WOMAN: "I'm at the shops now and found this beautiful leather coat. It's only $2,000; is it OK if I buy it?" MAN: "Sure, go ahead if you like it that much." WOMAN: "I also stopped by the Lexus dealership and saw the new models. I saw one I really liked." MAN: "How much?" WOMAN: "$90,000." MAN: "OK, but for that price I want it with all the options." WOMAN: "Great! Oh, and one more thing... I was just talking to Janie and found out that the house I wanted last year is back on the market. They're asking $980,000 for it." MAN: "Well, then go ahead and make an offer of $900,000. They'll probably take it. If not, we can go the extra eighty-thousand if it's what you really want." WOMAN: "OK. I'll see you later! I love you so much!" MAN: "Bye! I love you, too." The man hangs up. The other men in the locker room are staring at him in astonishment, mouths wide open. He turns and asks, "Anyone know whose phone this is?"
 

Kestas

Staff member
Joined
Jun 4, 2002
Messages
14,197
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The Motor City
I actually did something like that years ago. One guy called at work and thought he was talking to his landlord. We talked for 15 minutes. I never did tell him he got the wrong number.
 
Joined
Jun 9, 2012
Messages
1,004
Location
Reno, NV
Ogden Nash, a long time ago: The Perfect Husband He tells you when you've got on too much lipstick, And helps you with your girdle when your hips stick.
 
Joined
Nov 28, 2016
Messages
395
Location
Texas
Years ago my home phone number was one digit off from the local Pizza Hut. I took dozens of pizza orders, and they would all be ready for pick-up in 20 minutes!
 
Joined
Apr 3, 2017
Messages
3,081
Location
Ontario, Canada
Originally Posted By: BalticBob
Years ago my home phone number was one digit off from the local Pizza Hut. I took dozens of pizza orders, and they would all be ready for pick-up in 20 minutes!
LOL Dick. I love it!
 
Joined
Nov 28, 2016
Messages
395
Location
Texas
One time a young lady, teenage or so, called my house and asked if "Jane" was there. No one at my house named Jane, so I told her truthfully, no. So she says ...... 'when you see her, will you tell her that "Mary" has her class project ready for tomorrow? She has to have it to get full credit for the class, and I don't want her to fail it again.' So I said, ok, when I see her I will tell her. I never did see "Jane". crackmeup
 
Joined
Nov 9, 2008
Messages
20,143
Location
NH
I don't have a super common name but have had people I clearly did not know asking for... me. Well, the other me.
 
Joined
Apr 27, 2012
Messages
13,468
Location
MA
Originally Posted By: Kestas
I actually did something like that years ago. One guy called at work and thought he was talking to his landlord. We talked for 15 minutes. I never did tell him he got the wrong number.
I had the reverse. I was a landlord calling one of my tenants, he initially thought I was someone else. Then he started talking about how some pills were $5 each and if I thought it was a good deal. Then I said what are you talking about, I'm the landlord. He pretended it didn't happen afterwards. I did end up evicting him and I heard afterwards that he had overdosed and died a few months after he moved away.
 
Joined
Oct 13, 2014
Messages
2,744
Location
San Antonio, TX
When I first left college I was living & working in rural South Texas, in little rent house on 700 acres, rented out by the rancher who owned the property. My last name matched the second word of the nearest town's name, and of course the name of the largest ranch in the area. The family that owned the ranch, descended from that town's founder, kept their home phone number unlisted. Some lazy folks would assume I was some sort of family member and call me up looking for work, those I would correct and tell they needed to check their directory. However some really lazy folks would call during the days I was working night shift about business, waking me up and understandably aggravating me. I got fed up and the next time I got such a call, they weren't even courteous enough to ask my name, after I said hello I got "Hey I've got 100 head of cattle I need to put somewhere for two weeks. You got room?" so I responded "Sure! Bring 'em on over right away!" and hung up. Guess 100 head of cattle showed up somewhere, I stopped getting those calls. Another was "Hey we're supposed to work over your well but we need better directions." (this was before portable GPS devices and smart phones) My response was "You know how that dirt road takes a curve by them frac tanks? Instead of following the curve just go straight about a mile and a half. You can't miss it!" and hung up. Never got another of those calls.
 
Joined
Nov 29, 2003
Messages
976
Location
Ohio
From the 70s to the mid 90s, our phone number differed by one digit from that of a big Sheraton hotel located a few miles away. They did a lot of convention business and we would get calls from people wanting to make a reservation. One even came from New Zealand. I would have to say "please hold" while I used 3-way calling to hook them up with the hotel, then I'd listen in. The callers were always wondering why the person who initially answered the phone (me) merely said "hello" instead of saying something like "thank you for calling Sheraton Westgate". It took years before the hotel and the people who mis-published our phone number (a group of RC airplane hobbyists called Weak Signals) caught on.
 
Joined
Oct 5, 2005
Messages
5,266
Location
Kansas
Originally Posted By: mightymousetech
Originally Posted By: BalticBob
Years ago my home phone number was one digit off from the local Pizza Hut. I took dozens of pizza orders, and they would all be ready for pick-up in 20 minutes!
LOL Dick. I love it!
I used to have a co-worker whose number was one digit off of a tire center for a local K-Mart store. At least once a week he would get a call from somebody wanting a quote on tires and he would give them some incredibly-low priced figure. He would then say that that the tires were there waiting for him and to come right in.
 
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