- Mar 23, 2003
- Hopewell, Virginia, USA
A hard-partying San Franciscan who had long been swinging the bat both ways with far too many different people became violently sick and went to the hospital. After numerous tests and machine hookups, he is in his hospital bed when the phone in his room rings. It's his doctor. "Well, our tests have finally told us what's wrong with you." He says, "What is it, doc?" The doctor says, "It's a new syndrome we call GASH. And that's a combination of new, virulent strains of Gonorrhea, AIDS, Syphilis, and Herpes." "Gosh, doc, is there anything you can do?" "Well, effective immediately I'm ordering a special diet for you. For breakfast you'll get pancakes, for lunch pita bread, and for dinner it'll be pizza." The man is frantic. "Gosh, doc, will that help me?" The doctor says, "Well, no, but it's all we've got that will slide under the door."