New Honda Pilot, Toyota Highlander, or Subaru Ascent?

My wife and I are are looking for a bigger vehicle to accommodate our growing family. We live in New England so AWD/ 4WD is at the top of our list. She is not open to the idea of an AWD mini van. We have narrowed our choices down between new 2020/ 2019 left over Pilot, Ascent, or Highlander. We are the type of people who try to get 10+ years/200,000+ reliable miles out of a vehicle and don't foresee these models not fitting our needs as far as cargo room, seating capacity, etc during that time We have test driven all 3 and really like the Ascent but are hesitant to buy because it is a relatively new model with a new engine. The Pilot and Highlander are close seconds and both seem to have good reputations. I'm a long time Toyota owner with about 750,000 miles on 4 vehicles so you can guess my bias! Pilots seem reliable and we are looking at a model with the 6 speed transmission. Unsure about Honda's variable cylinder management/ electric motor mounts. Are these concerns unfounded? Uptime, long term reliability and low cost of ownership are main factors for us vs bells, whistles and aesthetics. Any additional input from any current owners of these vehicles? I've done some forum searching but haven't seen much info on the nitty gritty that I want to know about. Most people seem concerned with style, new features and dont really get into discussions on how their new car will fare in many years and miles to come.
 
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Every person I know with a Pilot loves it and 200K is pretty easy with them. I don't know enough about the Ascent and the Highlander is a pretty good vehicle as well.
 
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I'm not sure how many modern Subarus there are that I'd expect to make it to 200k. Their move to the CVT has not been trouble-free and the Ascent is just another on the list. There's already a recall on over 75,000 2019+ Ascents. If 10/200k is your goal, the Pilot or Highlander would be my choice and of those two, the Pilot is probably where I'd lean towards. I believe you can still get those with the 3.5L V6 and the 6 speed auto- a proven combo. The AWD systems certainly aren't as capably as Subarus, but they're plenty capable for city driving in the Northeast.
 
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The ascent is only a 4 banger? That would seal the deal for me right there. Honda J series V6 are tried and true and so is the Toyota V6.
 
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How did you find the transmission in the Highlander? I know there have been many complaints about it, so that would be a concern for me. I'd probably lean toward the Honda based on that.
 
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Suburu. Legit AWD system, as the other two are posers. The AWD system in the 3rd generation Pilot is almost identical to the Super Handling AWD that the Acura MDX is well known for. A very strong contender in this group Honda Pilot AWD Review Also as pointed out, the Subaru uses a 4 cylinder with a CVT! Big no in my opinion. Not sure what the Suburu he mentioned uses, LOL
 
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Based on your choices and if the AWD Toyota Sienna is a no-go, I would buy either the Pilot or Highlander. I prefer the V6 to the turbocharged 4 cylinder especially since this engine is new. They all will get about the same gas mileage.
 
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Bowline_Bandit

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We test drove a 2019 for about 15 minutes on various back roads of Central Mass. Didn't find anything not to like about it. Then again most of my day is spent in log trucks and forestry equipment so I'm pretty numb to hard shift points and crappy transmission performance
 
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Originally Posted by ls973800
Also as pointed out, the Subaru uses a 4 cylinder with a CVT! Big no in my opinion.
Not to mention a turbo. 3 strikes and Subaru is out in my opinion, 4 Cyl, CVT, and Turbo.
 
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I always stay away from: 1. Turbo 2. CVT transmissions of any/all brands. 3. Small 4 cylinder engines pushed to make lots of HP. For a bigger car V6 is a must, if you plan to keep it long term. 4. Honda transmissions. No matter what kind. I have a Ford Explorer V8 with 200k miles, a Mercury Sable with 160k miles, a Hyundai Sonata with 140k miles, a Toyota RAV4 with 70k miles and a Kia Soul with 80k miles, all maintained by me. I help friends too, so I kind of what a car is made of.
 
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