Need your help my mom is in trouble...

[StevieC]

Hi Everyone:

Thought I would post this here because many of you are married and I'm sure your wives and your mothers have gone through something similar or the exact same.

Dad, my brother and I aren't sure what to do because everything we have had my mom do isn't working... Even her doctor and counselor can't seem to fix this problem.

Every month just before "that time" she gets so hopelessly depressed she feels like crying all the time (and usually does) and also feels like committing suicide because the feelings are so intense. She doesn't because she knows that won't solve anything but it describes her pain so well.

She will have bouts of no sleep, then too much sleep, and feel drained and utterly hopeless during this time. She said the feelings of sorrow are so bad.

It only lasts about 5 days but the pain she is in is so brutal it seems like years to her and to us around her because there is nothing we can do to help.

They have tried her on multiple SSRI's, done all the blood work they could both before/while she is in this state to compare changes and she is waiting for a hormone panel to be done.

Any of you have the same experiences with your mom/wife?

Her pain is so bad and I just can't feel good during this time because I know she is suffering so bad.

Any suggestions for things for us to look at?

 

[PandaBear]

Wow, I hope things work out for your mom. My wife is going through some back pain but nothing compare to this. I'd imagine in addition to medical maybe religion would help a lot.

My aunt went though some serious depression when she lost her husband 30 years ago and it was religion that really helped her get through this.

 

[StevieC]

My mom's sisters are all highly religious and she has been down that road and although it helps her cope with the symptoms she really needs some pharmacology to help these symptoms because its so bad. Its like being in a car-accident every month for 5 days the pain is so bad.

 

[bullwinkle]

I'm not a doctor, but if she is menopausal, hormone replacement therapy can really help sometimes (just be careful if there's any history of breast cancer)-the religious end will help too. Hope she feels better, my mom has had a lot of health problems herself (breast cancer, colon cancer, diabetes, anemia, reactions to medicine), but with God's help...

 

[Oilpants]

I don't see how anyone hear can give you medical advice for any serious condition?? Even you're holystic healer will probabbly tell you to consult a medical doctor!!! Maybe theirs a doctor on the forum who is willing to give free advice??

 

[StevieC]

There is a history of breast cancer in the family on her side so it's possible...

She is waiting for a hormone panel to be done during this time to see what is out of whack because the one that was done was during her normal time and showed nothing wrong. (Obviously)

It's so terrible... I feel so bad for her and its rough on us trying to keep her out of the self-destructive mode.

I was hoping and I know it's still early in this threads life but I was hoping that someone on here knows the cause and can point us in the right direction while we wait for the hormone panel test.

Steve

 

[StevieC]

Originally Posted By: Oilpants
I don't see how anyone hear can give you medical advice for any serious condition?? Even you're holystic healer will probabbly tell you to consult a medical doctor!!! Maybe theirs a doctor on the forum who is willing to give free advice??


She is waiting to see a doctor for a hormone test, I'm looking for advice to try anything that might help ease her pain until she is properly diagnosed...

You really wouldn't understand unless you have been here...

 

[Pesca]

My wife is not the one you want to be around few days of the month (especially if you are her husband as you will always be wrong whatever you do and say).

That is hormonal as her hormones are going to the roof during that time.
Now that she knows more about it (and that I know what will happen to me), it goes smoother (we were talking about divorcing more than once before, but our daughter helps us go through these phases without committing).

I know that for some times, she was talking about using an IUD (sterilet in french, I am not sure if Google translate is good on that) helping to modulate her hormonal yoyo, but after reading some reports about possibility of giving cancer (there is always a possibility of getting a cancer, whatever you do), we decided to stay out of medication and see if we can deal the problem more naturally (more communication).

Maybe your mother may need this type of help (chemicals) and also some psychological help to understand what she is going through and work on her mental to decrease the effects.

Do you want me to ask my wife more information about that product?

 

[Oilpants]

Originally Posted By: StevieC
Originally Posted By: Oilpants
I don't see how anyone hear can give you medical advice for any serious condition?? Even you're holystic healer will probabbly tell you to consult a medical doctor!!! Maybe theirs a doctor on the forum who is willing to give free advice??


She is waiting to see a doctor for a hormone test, I'm looking for advice to try anything that might help ease her pain until she is properly diagnosed...

You really wouldn't understand unless you have been here...


why does she have to wait its urgent!!! In the mean time someone must stay with your Mom at all times nad keep her company. if someone is with her ist will distract her and you realy dont want to leave a suicidal person alone at all anyway. I hope you're Mom will get to see a doctor and receive traetment soon!!!

 

[StevieC]

Originally Posted By: Pesca

Do you want me to ask my wife more information about that product?
Yes Please!

 

[StevieC]

Originally Posted By: Oilpants

why does she have to wait its urgent!!! In the mean time someone must stay with your Mom at all times nad keep her company. if someone is with her is will distract her and you realy dont want to leave a suicidal person alone at all. I hope you're Mom will get to see a doctor and receive traetment soon!!!


She isn't suicidal but feels like she could be if she didn't have us supporting her through this rough time... I guess I could have been more clear on that.

She is on a rush list to see the hormone specialist but its going to be a couple of weeks before she gets in.

 

[ToyotaNSaturn]

Stevie, I'm sorry to hear this. This sucks.

Back in HS, a female friend used to get her time of the month so bad she'd be out of school for a few days each time. This lasted well into her 20's until we lost contact, and I'm sure, sadly, still continues.

Hormone therapy sounds like the logical place to start...

 

[Oilpants]

Originally Posted By: StevieC
Originally Posted By: Oilpants

why does she have to wait its urgent!!! In the mean time someone must stay with your Mom at all times nad keep her company. if someone is with her is will distract her and you realy dont want to leave a suicidal person alone at all. I hope you're Mom will get to see a doctor and receive traetment soon!!!


She isn't suicidal but feels like she could be if she didn't have us supporting her through this rough time... I guess I could have been more clear on that.

She is on a rush list to see the hormone specialist but its going to be a couple of weeks before she gets in.


Sorry I missunderstood. Im surprised it takes week's to get an apointment with a specialist. Cant you at least get her to see the family practioner?? he might be able to get her an earlier apointment.

 

[VeeDubb]

Sorry to hear about your mom. You'll probably want to consult both a conventional doctor and an integrated medicine doctor. I find that conventional doctors are often too constrained by their controlled studies to heal systemic issues. Depression related issues are usually systemic. But be careful while you are looking for an integrated doctor. Don't just sign up with some nutjob who just read a few books and is operating out of a storefront. You want someone with an MD. A good place to start might be a center for integrative medicine at a University. Good luck.

 

[eljefino]

What's her age (it's medically important) and are her cycles the same as always or did they start (menopause-ally) getting less scheduled?

 

[StevieC]

She has seen our family doctor (same doctor I have) and he has been great and has brought in a counselor who specializes in this to talk to her and help her through this rough time until the specialist can be seen.

There is a shortage in our area at the moment and because she doesn't have this all the time just 5 days out of every month they are making her wait a couple weeks so they can take care of people who have attempted suicide etc. or so I understand it.

 

[JHZR2]

If it is before she "celebrates womanhood" each month, I know my wife gets very funny and a bit depressed once in a while. Not every month, but some months she gets real funny.

Exercise is her solution - she needs the endorphins to get her through whatever the hormones are doing to her body chemistry. She is definitely far younger than your mother, and is in perfect health, but short of the suicidal and pain bits, it sounds kind of similar.

She should try some strenuous exercise (if she is healthy enough) during that time.

 

[StevieC]

Originally Posted By: eljefino
What's her age (it's medically important) and are her cycles the same as always or did they start (menopause-ally) getting less scheduled?
Her cycles are consistent and she is 51 Her sisters never had it this bad and are now no longer fertile and they stopped at 55.

 

[dparm]

I will say what I say to everyone: if you are not satisfied with the results, find a new doctor.

 

[c3po]

Steve, my neighbor's wife had this, meaning it did not matter if she was taking her anti-depression medicine, she still would just stay in a bed for a few days and then it passed.

Sometimes eating certain kind of foods can either put you in a good mood or a bad mood.