The only thing I would feel bad about is that it really matters to him that much. Three kids, four, six.... it doesn't matter how many. If they are all healthy then he has been truly blessed. I hope his daughters never find out that he would have preferred sons...
Men crying?
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I was sad for about 10 seconds when I found out that my second was a girl too. That quickly became joy that she was healthy, and I now enjoy being a dad for two daughters. Be grateful for their health and teach them the ropes in life - having a good father is just as important as a good mother, and will contribute to shaping your daughters expectations about men as they grow up. Set a good example...
My 1st daughter loves fishing, hasn't quite figured out what hunting is all about, and I am currently teaching her about hockey. Not forcing any of it - she asks for the time with me! And the purple and pink grows on you
My 1st daughter loves fishing, hasn't quite figured out what hunting is all about, and I am currently teaching her about hockey. Not forcing any of it - she asks for the time with me! And the purple and pink grows on you
This guy needs help. If he want a guarantee of a boy, he should have adopt. Not trying after 3 girls and have another go.
I personally think girls are fine, there are so many more boys in the next generation because India and China (and all the developing world) still want to have a boy and abort as soon as ultra sound found out the gender of the baby being girls.
I personally think girls are fine, there are so many more boys in the next generation because India and China (and all the developing world) still want to have a boy and abort as soon as ultra sound found out the gender of the baby being girls.
gathermewool
Site Donor 2023
Originally Posted By: Shannow
Originally Posted By: gathermewool
Oh, please. If you polled all men who want to have kids, I bet the majority would say they want at least one boy, if not all boys. I don't know many guys who cross their fingers, hoping for all girls.
Hmm, is that a strawman coupled with statistics made up on the spot ?
Maybe you should poll all men who are dis-satisfied with their own existence, or those who would like to be cloned into future space.
I think you missed the point of my post and blew it way out of context. I was simply expressing my opinion, as denoted by the, 'I bet' part of the statement. I apologize if what I posted came across as presumptuous. I only know how I feel and based my statement on conversations with male friends.
Also, make sure to note my second statement. Quoting only the first is misleading, IMO. My statement was NOT sympathetic to the OP's friend, but stating that having a boy may be important to many men, and not having a little boy, too, may be distressing. There may be women who are more than happy with all boys, but I'm sure there are a good number who pray for a little girl, too.
Finally, if having a boy was so important to him that it brought him to tears, then he probably should have considered adopting a baby (or any aged) boy.
To the OP: This is the interwebs, and every one has an opinion and wants to sound better than they are (sometimes,) so take all of these overly negative comments with a grain of salt. People tend to jump all over some one they've never met and know nothing about. People say he should be grateful that he has four healthy girls, but who are we to blame him for being upset about not having a boy. If he has had more kids than he originally planned in hopes of eventually having a boy, then it will be on him if having so many girls upsets him in the future. Again, he could have adopted. Regardless, just because he's upset about having all girls doesn't mean he'll in any way take it out on the girls or show them any less love than he has in his heart.
Originally Posted By: gathermewool
Oh, please. If you polled all men who want to have kids, I bet the majority would say they want at least one boy, if not all boys. I don't know many guys who cross their fingers, hoping for all girls.
Hmm, is that a strawman coupled with statistics made up on the spot ?
Maybe you should poll all men who are dis-satisfied with their own existence, or those who would like to be cloned into future space.
I think you missed the point of my post and blew it way out of context. I was simply expressing my opinion, as denoted by the, 'I bet' part of the statement. I apologize if what I posted came across as presumptuous. I only know how I feel and based my statement on conversations with male friends.
Also, make sure to note my second statement. Quoting only the first is misleading, IMO. My statement was NOT sympathetic to the OP's friend, but stating that having a boy may be important to many men, and not having a little boy, too, may be distressing. There may be women who are more than happy with all boys, but I'm sure there are a good number who pray for a little girl, too.
Finally, if having a boy was so important to him that it brought him to tears, then he probably should have considered adopting a baby (or any aged) boy.
To the OP: This is the interwebs, and every one has an opinion and wants to sound better than they are (sometimes,) so take all of these overly negative comments with a grain of salt. People tend to jump all over some one they've never met and know nothing about. People say he should be grateful that he has four healthy girls, but who are we to blame him for being upset about not having a boy. If he has had more kids than he originally planned in hopes of eventually having a boy, then it will be on him if having so many girls upsets him in the future. Again, he could have adopted. Regardless, just because he's upset about having all girls doesn't mean he'll in any way take it out on the girls or show them any less love than he has in his heart.
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We haven't (I don't think) discussed the notion that some men think that male offspring are important to carry on the family name. While this belief is of no importance to me, I can understand that some men have been raised/conditioned to believe this. Everyone has different values and I try hard not to judge others. But, I think I can understand why this idea might cause stress for some people.
I can remember my parents talking of families with no boys and how the family name would disappear. There was definitely a stigma applied to this situation, at least in my 1960's upbringing.
I can remember my parents talking of families with no boys and how the family name would disappear. There was definitely a stigma applied to this situation, at least in my 1960's upbringing.
gathermewool
Site Donor 2023
Originally Posted By: doitmyself
We haven't (I don't think) discussed the notion that some men think that male offspring are important to carry on the family name. While this belief is of no importance to me, I can understand that some men have been raised/conditioned to believe this. Everyone has different values and I try hard not to judge others. But, I think I can understand why this idea might cause stress for some people.
I can remember my parents talking of families with no boys and how the family name would disappear. There was definitely a stigma applied to this situation, at least in my 1960's upbringing.
Good point. I guess I never thought about legacy, but it probably is important to some. IMO, when I'm dead, I'm dead. There are plenty of [insert my last name here]'s in the world to carry on the name, so why should it matter? I can, however, see why it might be important.
I guess I want a son, because when I grew up I wanted to be just like my dad. He's a great man and I've always taken great pride in being his son. That's not to say I wouldn't be any less proud of a daughter, nor would I treat her or raise her any differently than a son, but there are some very obvious (and some very subtle) differences between girls and boy, which is why the idea of raising a little boy in my image is important to me. He doesn't have to have all of my traits or even have the same colored skin (back to adoption,) but raising a little boy into a man is something I look forward to.
We haven't (I don't think) discussed the notion that some men think that male offspring are important to carry on the family name. While this belief is of no importance to me, I can understand that some men have been raised/conditioned to believe this. Everyone has different values and I try hard not to judge others. But, I think I can understand why this idea might cause stress for some people.
I can remember my parents talking of families with no boys and how the family name would disappear. There was definitely a stigma applied to this situation, at least in my 1960's upbringing.
Good point. I guess I never thought about legacy, but it probably is important to some. IMO, when I'm dead, I'm dead. There are plenty of [insert my last name here]'s in the world to carry on the name, so why should it matter? I can, however, see why it might be important.
I guess I want a son, because when I grew up I wanted to be just like my dad. He's a great man and I've always taken great pride in being his son. That's not to say I wouldn't be any less proud of a daughter, nor would I treat her or raise her any differently than a son, but there are some very obvious (and some very subtle) differences between girls and boy, which is why the idea of raising a little boy in my image is important to me. He doesn't have to have all of my traits or even have the same colored skin (back to adoption,) but raising a little boy into a man is something I look forward to.
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Myself I had a sense of relief when my 2nd child was also a daughter. I knew what to expect and actually have a harder time relating to boys. It may be because my exposure as an adult to children has been all girls. I have 9 nieces and two younger recent nephews.
Originally Posted By: bradepb
You should tell him to man up and be glad his kids are healthy,im sorry but this guy sounds like a big self centered baby with possibly some father issues from his own upbringing that he wants to correct with a son of his own.
He can always choose to mentor a young man but I doubt if he will have time for that.
Amen, he should be happy for what he has.
You should tell him to man up and be glad his kids are healthy,im sorry but this guy sounds like a big self centered baby with possibly some father issues from his own upbringing that he wants to correct with a son of his own.
He can always choose to mentor a young man but I doubt if he will have time for that.
Amen, he should be happy for what he has.
Originally Posted By: TMoto
Originally Posted By: Pablo
A father has profound influence on how a daughter forms thoughts and opinions and choices about men.
This statement needs more love.
Being the father of three sons and one daughter, and an uncle to three neices, I can say this is very true. Hopefully the new father will accept his lot in life, see them as blessings, and not project his dissapointment.
+1
if his 4 girls start picking losers...
I am very neutral about all of this. my daughter (5) just played 3 blind mice backwards (in chunks) on her piano. she tried teaching me but I can't play it forwards...
Originally Posted By: Pablo
A father has profound influence on how a daughter forms thoughts and opinions and choices about men.
This statement needs more love.
Being the father of three sons and one daughter, and an uncle to three neices, I can say this is very true. Hopefully the new father will accept his lot in life, see them as blessings, and not project his dissapointment.
+1
if his 4 girls start picking losers...
I am very neutral about all of this. my daughter (5) just played 3 blind mice backwards (in chunks) on her piano. she tried teaching me but I can't play it forwards...
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My wife and I don't have children yet, but we both have said we'd prefer a girl over a boy.
I never really looked at it as a girl can't do "manly" things. That's ridiculous. Girls can play sports, help out in the garage, and hunt just like any boy can.
This guy needs to understand a simple statement: It's not about YOU.
I never really looked at it as a girl can't do "manly" things. That's ridiculous. Girls can play sports, help out in the garage, and hunt just like any boy can.
This guy needs to understand a simple statement: It's not about YOU.
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