Male vs. Female ATM Procedure

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Joined
Oct 12, 2005
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Da Swamp
We've all seen that misandric e-mail about the way the sexes go about doing oil changes (so much so that I posted my own rebuttal here: http://www.bobistheoilguy.com/forums/ubb...rue#Post827733) Now, goose and gander time: **************************************** A new sign in the Bank Lobby reads: 'Please note that this Bank is installing new Drive-through ATM machines enabling customers to withdraw cash without leaving their vehicles. Customers using this new facility are requested to use the procedures outlined below when accessing their accounts. After months of careful research, MALE & FEMALE procedures have been developed. Please follow the appropriate steps for your gender.' ******************************* Male Procedure: 1. Drive up to the cash machine. 2. Put down your car window. 3. Insert card into machine and enter PIN. 4. Enter amount of cash required and withdraw. 5. Retrieve card, cash, and receipt. 6. Put window up. 7. Drive off. ******************************* Female Procedure: 1. Drive up to cash machine. 2. Reverse and back up the required amount to align car window with the machine. 3. Set parking brake, put the window down. 4. Find handbag, remove all contents onto passenger seat to locate card. 5. Tell person on cell phone you will call them back and hang up. 6. Attempt to insert card into machine. 7. Open car door to allow easier access to machine, due to its excessive distance from the car. 8. Insert card. 9. Re-insert card the right way. 10. Dig through handbag to find diary with your PIN written on the inside back page. 11. Enter PIN. 12. Press cancel and re-enter correct PIN. 13. Enter amount of cash required. 14. Check makeup in rear-view mirror. 15. Retrieve cash and receipt. 16. Empty handbag again to locate wallet and place cash inside. 17. Write debit amount in check register and place receipt in back of checkbook. 18. Re-check makeup. 19. Drive forward 2 feet. 20. Reverse back to cash machine. 21. Retrieve card. 22. Re-empty handbag, locate card-holder, and place card into the slot provided! 23. Give dirty look to irate male driver waiting behind you. 24. Restart stalled engine and pull off. 25. Redial person on cell phone. 26. Drive for 2 to 3 miles. 27. Release Parking Brake. *********************************** Feel free to pass this on. . . .
 
Joined
Mar 24, 2007
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Location
Upstate NY
Don't forget the non-bubbleheaded female ATM instructions. Those are remarkably similar to the hairy-nutscratcher directions.
 
Joined
Jul 4, 2003
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Location
Gonzales, La.
Seen it to amny times to think it's a joke! How about the check out line at the wally World-Super market-Garden Center. The women a wait in line for 15 minutes have all items checked out, then when the checker say $5, she looks struck by lightening. Like "Igot to pay for this stuff". Then the bag shuffle, card swapping, starts.
 
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