Is this typical? A woman driver story (my wife)

[OVERKILL]

Originally Posted By: DuckRyder
So the expedition is "her car"?

Sounds like she is not a car person and won't take care of it like you would...

Keep it safe and dependable and accept that it is an appliance for her...it is going to get dings and dents and scratches and scuffs on the tires... and probably some broken stuff you'll have to fix...

You'll be happier...she'll be happier...





She doesn't want to do the "guy stuff" like check the tires and oil. At least I've got her doing the latter (finally). She started calling the Expedition "hers" after I bought the M5. Since the car is off-limits to her, I do understand her desire to brand the truck as "her" vehicle. The reality of course is that we DO share it, and usually without issue. It is "old dependable". However, that doesn't mean it has to look its age and mileage, LOL!

She does wash it, but I can't get her to wax it. We actually argued about that this weekend when I was waxing my car (I'm trying to get her more involved in this stuff instead of me having to do all of it). But on the other hand, if it makes a noise or she feels or notices something weird, she is good about immediately telling me. She just doesn't like telling me about the stuff that makes her feel stupid.... Like hitting things. But she DOES tell me, she just doesn't like to "own it", which is why she tried to spin the bush thing so that she didn't "hit" the bush, but rather it "brushed" the truck, LOL!

From the looks of this thread, some of you guys have REALLY lucked out, but most of us are experiencing some version of "this", which makes me feel a bit better

 

[stephen9666]

My long-time girlfriend (soon-to-be wife) is a good driver and doesn't do most of the things posted by the OP. But, I still bite my lip when she parks and bumps curbs or similar things.

Long story short - many people aren't as asininely tuned into these types of things as BITOG'ers, and that's not saying we're right about everything. Within reason, cars really are an appliance meant to be used and worn out, as much as many of us would claim otherwise. I will say the OP's significant other does appear to be worse than the women I've dated, if his description is accurate.

I would say that unless she's doing anything unsafe, let her do her thing. I would, however, take these types of things into account when buying cars for her. If she's going to trash her cars, then I would encourage you two to not spend big bucks on her vehicles.

 

[S65AMG]

She's probably harming the car less than many who like to experiment on their appliance.

Not to mention many mechanics, who happen to be men.

 

[Garak]

Originally Posted By: S65AMG
She's probably harming the car less than many who like to experiment on their appliance.

Speaking of which, perhaps Overkill should make some KD in her favourite pot and "accidentally" leave the stove on number 10 for about half an hour.

I can suggest playing dirty pool since I won't have to face the consequences.

 

[Hokiefyd]

I've dated only one woman, and married her, and so my limited experience probably doesn't count for much. I have come home to a scratch or a ding every now and again, but I've also done it myself, so I understand that we're all human (yes, even the ladies!) and we all make mistakes.

Truthfully, as I get older and our kids are growing out of diapers and into their own activities, of which I want to be a part, I'm less and less anal about the vehicles. When I was younger, my car was all I had. And it was a trophy-winning car in car shows. Though I soon learned that a car can't love you back, I was still very particular about how the cars looked after we got married. I'd wash them all the time, detail them all the time, fret over the smallest piece of sand on the carpets...

None of that anymore. The cars are tools in our toolbox of life assists. We go for a picnic at the lake. If one of the tires gets scrubbed by a tree root off road, that's okay. I tow a trailer to deliver scaffolding for a project at church. I accidentally scratch the back bumper with the tongue of the trailer; that's okay. My wife drives the kids to school on a daily basis. If she touches a curb with one of the tires, that's okay.

Though we certainly do our best to maintain the function and appearance of our vehicles, and damage events are rare, they do occur. And they're occured at the hand of my wife and at the hand of yours truly. I see it as being a part of life.

 

[NHHEMI]

Originally Posted By: OVERKILL
OK, I have to rant a bit here to some folks that will understand.

Everybody here is aware of the price of tires. The cost of getting a dent fixed, a scratch repaired....etc.

Well, when we bought the Expedition, the only person with a license was me. It managed for two years to remain in perfect condition.

Then my wife started driving.

After a week there was a quarter-sized dent in the front bumper (that now has some lovely surface rust on it) from where she "discovered" the wall in front of her at the parking garage.

Then there was a scuff on the left corner of the front bumper from ????? She has no idea.

Then were was one on the right corner of the front bumper.... same scenario as above.

She doesn't park away from cars (she tells me she does) when she goes shopping and subsequently it has gained a few door dings and such.

Somebody ripped off the back wiper when she was at the Zellers.

I paid over $1,000 for the Michelin LTX M/S tires that are on it, and the sidewalls are a disaster from her hitting curbs. At first she told me she didn't hit curbs. Then when I pointed out to her that she was into a freakin' curb as she's arguing it with me and she says "well I don't normally do that". Right, the tires did it to themselves

When I was in North Carolina, I come home to discover a massive peck-dent in the hood and she told me a "rock flew out of a dump truck and landed on the hood". I'm betting she was tailgating the dump truck....

So tonight she comes home and asks me if so and so (a guy we know) has a bush in his laneway. First, the fact that she's asking me this question has bad omen written all over it, and secondly I'm both scared by the fact that she doesn't know and by what the result of this bush that "might or might not have been there" was on the truck. When I respond that yes, there's a rather HUGE bush on the side of his lane, she says "Oh, well I think it might have scraped the side of the truck". I'm like "you hit a huge freakin' bush and didn't know it?????" She replies that she didn't HIT the bush, it isn't like she "ran into it", and of course I reply that if there was contact made, YOU HIT IT! That went over like a lead balloon.

So, now there are two 5ft long light scratches in the paint that will likely buff out, but are just another bloody battle scar this poor truck has had to endure from my wife driving it.

Is this typical? Are others on here cursed with a spouse that has the spacial skills of a blind Alzheimer's patient with an inner ear condition? Good lord, I wish I had kept my weapon of an F-250 so that she could drive that........ The body on it was already FUBAR.


*rant off*


Take her cell phone away and maybe 75% of the above goes away. Nothing scarier on the road than a woman driving an SUV while yaking on her cell.

Sure sounds like a distracted driver to me although she would probably deny that as well.

I feel for you man. I can tell you this, NO woman drives my vehicle barring an emergency. Even then I am a nervous wreck. Call me a sexist pig but I do not like the way females drive on the whole. They scare the bejesus out of me.

I am not married( can you tell?

)but if I were wifey would have her own vehicle and be responsible for it. She would have to keep it maintained and cleaned and if she trashed it, it would be up to her to earn the money to fix/replace it.

I would not keep the vehicle up for her and get it fixed( especially if it was like your situation ). Well, if she turned out to be responsible and safe behind the wheel that would be different but I wouldn't hold my breathe. If my wife drove like yours she wouldn't have a set of keys to anything but a bigwheel.

 

[PF52]

Originally Posted By: Kuato
It completely baffles me how some women completely fail to pay attention to these driving issues, yet berate you about something you did 10 years ago, which they recall with perfect clarity.


I watched that happen with my parents. In their case, it was more like 30 years.

My mom still bristles with some impolite thing my dad did at a ball game in the late 70s, as if it happened this morning.

 

[Swarmlord]

Originally Posted By: SLCraig
It's only a bunch of people who in all likelihood will never even meet this person. Who cares... I certainly don't.


It's OK to smack talk your spouse/significant other because they won't find out?

 

[KrisZ]

Originally Posted By: Hokiefyd
Truthfully, as I get older and our kids are growing out of diapers and into their own activities, of which I want to be a part, I'm less and less anal about the vehicles. When I was younger, my car was all I had. And it was a trophy-winning car in car shows. Though I soon learned that a car can't love you back, I was still very particular about how the cars looked after we got married. I'd wash them all the time, detail them all the time, fret over the smallest piece of sand on the carpets...

None of that anymore. The cars are tools in our toolbox of life assists. We go for a picnic at the lake. If one of the tires gets scrubbed by a tree root off road, that's okay. I tow a trailer to deliver scaffolding for a project at church. I accidentally scratch the back bumper with the tongue of the trailer; that's okay. My wife drives the kids to school on a daily basis. If she touches a curb with one of the tires, that's okay.

Though we certainly do our best to maintain the function and appearance of our vehicles, and damage events are rare, they do occur. And they're occured at the hand of my wife and at the hand of yours truly. I see it as being a part of life.


That's how I look at material things now as well.
Before I got married and had kids, my car was washed every single week, fully detailed perhaps 3 times a year and I was always thinking what great new wax to try out on my car.
Now cars are just tools to get me and my family where I want to. That doesn't mean I neglect them or don't enjoy driving cars. Everything mechanical is taken care of right away and I slow down for pot holes or speed bumps to preserve suspension components. The last time my cars were waxed was probably a year ago or more. They get washed every once in a while when I have time.

My wife is a very good driver and not too rough on the car. Tires and rims don't have signs of being curbed and there are only few small dings on the car. I would probably still get a bit upset if my wife carelessly hit something, but overall I think that if anything happens it would be by accident and not by her carelessness.

I think that over the years she realized that being careful pays off long term. At the beginning of our marriage she just thought I was obsessed about that car and perhaps I was on the OCD side, but now that our Mazda is over 7 years old she can see that the car looks much better than a lot of newer cars in the neighborhood.

 

[ddrumman2004]

Gee.....I don't know what to say about some of the things I have read in this thread. I guess I'm blessed with a woman I love so much that if she were to do something stupid to a vehicle, I would just take it in stride. After all, it's just a mechanical device.

Now having said that, my wife takes care of her Mustang. She loves it and when she is able, she cleans the interior and washes it. She gets the oil changed regularly as well and she pays the monthly payment like clockwork. Being a traveling exec with her job, she's on the road a lot.

Maybe it's my old age and the fact that a quad bypass and having cancer that's in remission that makes me feel that there are more important things to worry about than a scratch or door ding on her car. If it were not for her, and the fact that she's a nurse, I most likely would have died a year ago last month when I had my heart attack. And I can't begin to thank her enough for her support when I was going through chemo a few months back. Plus, she shares the care with her sister of their mother who has full blown Alzheimer's.

I could go on about how much she does and what she has done for me but there is not enough time or space for me to do so. Like I said...I'm blessed!

 

[Hokiefyd]

Originally Posted By: ddrumman2004
I guess I'm blessed with a woman I love so much that if she were to do something stupid to a vehicle, I would just take it in stride. After all, it's just a mechanical device.


Couldn't have said it better myself. People like us seem to be fewer and farer between.

 

[Benzadmiral]

My lady friend Miss Linda, fortunately (at least when it comes to scenarios like this), doesn't drive. She has no interest in learning, either. I will give her this: she changes the filters and belts in her vacuum cleaner on a regular basis. Which suggests she wouldn't drive around with a low oil light on without telling me, or without driving to a shop.

Maybe I'm better off doing the driving, anyway.

 

[KrisZ]

Originally Posted By: Hokiefyd
Originally Posted By: ddrumman2004
I guess I'm blessed with a woman I love so much that if she were to do something stupid to a vehicle, I would just take it in stride. After all, it's just a mechanical device.


Couldn't have said it better myself. People like us seem to be fewer and farer between.


Well, I look at it this way. If I walked into our house all filthy and muddy after my wife just cleaned it, I would get an earful, to put it mildly. Or if I was cooking something up in the kitchen and left all that mess for her to clean up after me.
So, just as she doesn't want the house to look like pigs live in it, I don't want to drive a car that looks like it was hit by a tornado while pigs were inside it.
Love has nothing to do with it because I would never put my car before my wife and she would never put our house before me. But to me it's a sign of respect for someone's work and effort. Just like I respect my wife's efforts to keep the house well sorted out, I expect that she shows the same for my efforts to try and prolong the life of our cars.

 

[Win]

Pick your battles. It's just a car - they're not worth getting worked up over.

 

[CROWNVIC4LIFE]

Originally Posted By: mrplavick
Yes it is.


Not really..My other half has a 2000 Town Car with over 250K miles [former service car] and does most of her driving [and shopping] in 24/7 gridlocked South Beach..There are only very minor dings on that car.

Plus she takes the car to Gus Machado Ford [one of most honest Ford dealers around here] for service every 5K miles or less without fail.

 

[OVERKILL]

Originally Posted By: KrisZ
Originally Posted By: Hokiefyd
Originally Posted By: ddrumman2004
I guess I'm blessed with a woman I love so much that if she were to do something stupid to a vehicle, I would just take it in stride. After all, it's just a mechanical device.


Couldn't have said it better myself. People like us seem to be fewer and farer between.


Well, I look at it this way. If I walked into our house all filthy and muddy after my wife just cleaned it, I would get an earful, to put it mildly. Or if I was cooking something up in the kitchen and left all that mess for her to clean up after me.
So, just as she doesn't want the house to look like pigs live in it, I don't want to drive a car that looks like it was hit by a tornado while pigs were inside it.
Love has nothing to do with it because I would never put my car before my wife and she would never put our house before me. But to me it's a sign of respect for someone's work and effort. Just like I respect my wife's efforts to keep the house well sorted out, I expect that she shows the same for my efforts to try and prolong the life of our cars.


Very well put

And that's basically how I conveyed the message to her. I spend the time and money to keep the vehicle in good condition. I expect her to keep it clean and be careful with it. She KNOWS she has poor spatial skills, so my comments regarding this weren't a dig at her or anything, she's well aware of the fact.

She doesn't text or talk on the phone while driving either, and she DOES try to be careful. But in the end it is a big truck and she's a small girl who I think gets overwhelmed while maneuvering this vehicle in tight quarters. But on the other hand, she LOVES driving it, so I have to take that in stride. She doesn't want to drive a smaller car and it would be unfair of me to try and force her into driving one.

 

[OVERKILL]

Originally Posted By: Win
Pick your battles. It's just a car - they're not worth getting worked up over.


Don't worry, I'm not worked up. I find these "episodes" frustrating, but that doesn't mean I'm frustrated with her or the vehicle in general. The scratch thing happened last night, which is what prompted me to make the thread and document the history, but those events are over and done with and I don't bug her about them. What's done is done.

However, that doesn't mean that I can't try to communicate the fact that I would appreciate her upping her game on the care and respect she gives the vehicle, which is what I'm trying to do.

 

[Clevy]

Originally Posted By: OVERKILL
Originally Posted By: Win
Pick your battles. It's just a car - they're not worth getting worked up over.


Don't worry, I'm not worked up. I find these "episodes" frustrating, but that doesn't mean I'm frustrated with her or the vehicle in general. The scratch thing happened last night, which is what prompted me to make the thread and document the history, but those events are over and done with and I don't bug her about them. What's done is done.

However, that doesn't mean that I can't try to communicate the fact that I would appreciate her upping her game on the care and respect she gives the vehicle, which is what I'm trying to do.

And honestly this whole thread is giving you a chance to vent about it while still keeping a smile on your face and reading other guys issues with their wives driving habits.
My old lady has totaled 4 vehicles in the 4 years we have been together. I've totaled 3 in my entire driving career.
And she drives a minivan as if its a NASCAR. It's just unreal. I let her drive my mustang when I first got it. She comes home and all I can smell is clutch. 4 days later my clutch it toast but she get all defensive saying she's a farm girl and has driven the manual farm trucks all her life. Yep. Those farm trucks have clutches that are 2 feet across and only rev to 2000 rpm. The mustang spins to 7000 and is substantially smaller.
I bought her her own so I didn't have to let her drive mine.
Then when teaching her to ride a few years ago she ends up dumping my beauty v-star like 5 times. I had to buy her an older 450 so if she dumped it it didn't cost me 1000 bucks for bent and broken lights and handlebars.
Yep. Girls. Thank god we love them otherwise it would be open season.

 

[Cujet]

Parking by "Braille" is a very common methodology in my family

 

[dja4260]

I haven't got around to teaching the fiancé how to drive a manual yet....

You wouldn't believe it, but my car is still perfect!

Her 4 year old car has multiple dings, dents, and scratches. Kinda like when she spun out during winter and ended up on a front lawn. "I wasn't going fast at all"

Well, fast enough to hop a curb and bend two rims hunny.