Hormone Warning

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I printed this out and posted it on the fridge. Needless to say I posted it the "wrong" time of the month
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. Oh well. How long does it take broken bones to heal
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. Just kidding
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! Though the wife wants to do bodily harm to you ALS
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.

Whimsey
 
I work with 15 women and some do have CCW's. So needless to say I always have Chocolate around my office. They have learned to leave me alone since in most cases I just laugh at them when they belly ache. Yes I do live dangerously but hey I really do have a good time finding new ways to act like a typical man around them. My two favorite lines to use on them is 1. My Number One Job here is babysitting you. 2. Look, I don't have to listen to you since I'm not married to you.
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THE HORMONE WARNING:The Hormone Hostage knows that there are days in the month when all a man has to do is open his mouth and he takes his life in his own hands! This is a handy guide that should be as common as a driver's license in the wallet of every husband, boyfriend, or significant other!


DANGEROUS: What's for dinner?
SAFER: Can I help you with dinner?
SAFEST: Where would you like to go for dinner?
ULTRA SAFE: Have some chocolate

DANGEROUS: Are you wearing that?
SAFER: Wow, you look good in brown.
SAFEST: WOW! Look at you!
ULTRA SAFE: Have some chocolate

DANGEROUS: What are you so worked up about?
SAFER: Could we be overreacting?
SAFEST: Here's my paycheck.
ULTRA SAFE: Have some chocolate

DANGEROUS: Should you be eating that?
SAFER: You know, there are a lot of apples left.
SAFEST: Can I get you a glass of wine with that?
ULTRA SAFE: Have some chocolate

DANGEROUS: What did you do all day?
SAFER: I hope you didn't over-do it today.
SAFEST: I've always loved you in that robe!
ULTRA SAFE: Have some more chocolate.

13 Things PMS Stands For

1. Pass My Shotgun
2. Psychotic Mood Shift
3. Perpetual Munching Spree
4. Puffy Mid-Section
5. People Make me Sick
6. Provide Me with Sweets
7. Pardon My Sobbing
8. Pimples May Surface
9. Pass My Sweatpants
10. Pi$$y Mood Syndrome
11. Plainly; Men Suc*
12. Pack My Stuff And my favourite one...
13. Potential Murder Suspect

For all of your hormonal friends and those who might need a good Laugh! Or for men who need a warning.

Remember: Money talks.... But Chocolate sings
 
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