Holiday patterns

[wrcsixeight]

Experience shows that if you push this button, fire shoots from my eyes and tongue. Logic dictates that it is better if said button is not pushed. This year I ask not to have my button pushed. Response: I can push any button I want and will. Thinking about avoiding Holidays this year.

 

[hardcore302]

ok

 

[spasm3]

I assume you are talking about people pushing your buttons at family gatherings , office parties or something similar. The key is to recognize that the goal is to push your button. If they can't push your buttons, you are in effect now pushing theirs without trying. Just be pleasant and good natured. Have the mindset that YOU are in control of your emotions , no one else. No one can "make you mad, sad " etc. If you are angry mad, its because you choose to be.

 

[wrcsixeight]

Originally Posted By: spasm3

Just be pleasant and good natured.

Much easier said than accomplished. It's family. The women love to make marytrs of themselves, and push buttons until they accomplish that.

 

[Drew99GT]

If I've learned anything, it's to give it right back to them with extreme prejudice. In a good way. If you're still friends, more the better. Family? They have to love you!

 

[JimPghPA]

Just remember that if you argue with a fool, you soon find out that they are doing the same thing.

 

[Torino]

Merry Christmas. John--Las Vegas.

 

[Pop_Rivit]

Mature adults are capable of keeping their emotions in check, rather than allowing immature people to push their buttons. Immature people can easily push the buttons of other immature people.

 

[Pablo]

Originally Posted By: Pop_Rivit

Mature adults are capable of keeping their emotions in check, rather than allowing immature people to push their buttons. Immature people can easily push the buttons of other immature people.

This. Why allow the clowns access to your remote control?

 

[Hokiefyd]

Originally Posted By: wrcsixeight

Experience shows that if you push this button, fire shoots from my eyes and tongue.

This is certainly not a therapy board, and I'm certainly no shrink, but without knowing the specifics of the situation, your very first sentence reveals a lot to me about the nature of what's involved here. My advice would be not to change your environment (by avoiding people), but to change yourself. Obviously, with the limited amount of information you've given, only you can know the seriousness of "this button" you have, but in my humble opinion, unless it's a life-or-death situation, or a defamation of personal property thing, it's probably better to rise above the situation and let stuff go. In general, half of the reason why people "push buttons" in the first place is to get the reaction out of you. Maybe it's for their own entertainment. Maybe they're looking for a reason to get mad at you so you are baited into exploding. I realize that these are your family members I am talking about, but don't get offended; I don't know you or any of them, and I think most families have these types of personalities in them somewhere. I recall some advice I heard in passing on a Saturday morning show a week or two ago, about increasing your chances of promotion at work. It related obviously to the professional world, but applies here as well. It went along the lines of, "do you want to get it done your way, or do you want to get it done?" To me here, your goal is to get along with family during a time of year that is stressful to most families. Do you have to have it your way, or is your goal to get through it without getting mad?

 

[wrcsixeight]

Good advice, but again, much easier said than done. The women simply must be marytrs. They need something to complain about and examples to tell everybody how unappreciated they are. They just keep stepping up the weaponry until they achieve their goal. Brandy and Cigars men? Perhaps I'll just play with and request to be sat at the children's table this year.

 

[hardcore302]

I remember being at mu uncle's house and it got so bad that he removed the cable box and threw the turkey off the balcony. I couldn't stop laughing, and I was hungry.

 

[Bladecutter]

Originally Posted By: wrcsixeight

This year I ask not to have my button pushed. Response: I can push any button I want and will.

Honestly, it depends on who it is in your family that is pushing the button. From your comments, its obviously a female causing you grief. And this has been happening year after year after year, with no end in sight. If its your wife, you need to remind yourself you lived perfectly fine without her (even if its a lie), and can create a new life again that is relieved of her stress. If its your sister, you can tell her to go to the furthest reaches of the bottom of the sewer system, and start chugging, and never talk to her again. If its your mother, tell her that something has come up, and you won't make it for the holidays this season, but if things change, you might be able to make it last minute. If its your sister in law, repeat the above sister reference, and smile while saying it. If its your mother in law, all three things apply. If its an aunt, or neighbor, or something else, flip them the bird, throw mud on their cars, and repeat the sister line. There's no point being around people who are doing nothing at all that makes you enjoy being around them. Your happiness should be the ultimate goal, not their sick perverted pleasure of torturing you. Until you remove unhealthy influences from your life, and fix corrosive relationships, Holidays mean nothing except extra unwanted stress. Better to not participate, than to suffer for nothing positive to occur. BC.

 

[Bladecutter]

Originally Posted By: hardcore302

I remember being at mu uncle's house and it got so bad that he removed the cable box and threw the turkey off the balcony. I couldn't stop laughing, and I was hungry.

I learned a long time ago that Holidays all alone are way better than a Holiday spent being someone else's punching bag, emotional or otherwise. BC.

 

[JimPghPA]

I know a school teacher who remembers a saying when the students are starting to get realy bad. Just say to your self "I am realy just an under paid proctologist."

 

[crinkles]

Originally Posted By: wrcsixeight

Good advice, but again, much easier said than done. The women simply must be marytrs. They need something to complain about and examples to tell everybody how unappreciated they are. They just keep stepping up the weaponry until they achieve their goal. Brandy and Cigars men? Perhaps I'll just play with and request to be sat at the children's table this year.

Women are hard wired to share their problems. Men are wired to solve problems. It may sound like they are asking you for a solution. But do not ! Simply listen and placate with "i'm sure you will solve it ok". If things go wrong, just say you would have done the same thing.