Hickphonics

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HEIDI - noun. Greeting.

HIRE YEW - Complete sentence. Remainder of greeting.
Usage: Heidi, hire yew?"

BARD - verb. Past tense of the infinitive "to borrow."
Usage: "My brother bard my pickup truck."

JAWJUH - noun. The State north of Florida. Capitol is Lanner.
Usage: "My brother from Jawjuh bard my pickup truck."

BAMMER - noun. The State west of Jawjuh. Capitol is Berminhayum.
Usage: "A tornader jes went through Bammer an' left
$20,000,000 in improvements."

MUNTS - noun. A calendar division.
Usage: "My brother from Jawjuh bard my pickup truck, and I
ain't herd from him in munts."

THANK - verb. Ability to cognitively process.
Usage: "Ah thank ah'll have a bare."

BARE - noun. An alcoholic beverage made of barley, hops, and yeast.
Usage: "Ah thank ah'll have a bare."

IGNERT - adjective. Not smart. See "Arkansas native."
Usage: "Them Bammer boys sure are ignert!"

RANCH - noun. A tool used for tight'nin' bolts.
Usage: "I thank I left my ranch in the back of that pickup
truck my brother from Jawjuh bard a few munts ago."

ALL - noun. A petroleum-based lubricant.
Usage: "I sure hope my brother from Jawjuh puts all in my
pickup truck."

FAR - noun. A conflagration.
Usage: "If my brother from Jawjuh don't change the all in my
pickup truck, that thing's gonna catch far."

TAR - noun. A rubber wheel.
Usage: "Gee, I hope that brother of mine from Jawjuh don't git
a flat tar in my pickup truck."

TIRE - noun. A tall monument.
Usage: "Lord willin' and the creek don't rise, I sure do hope
to see that Eiffel Tire in Paris sometime."

RETARD - Verb. To stop working.
Usage: "My grampaw retard at age 65."

FAT - noun, verb. 1. a battle or combat. 2. to engage in battle
or combat.
Usage: "You younguns keep fat'n, n' ah'm gonna whup y'uh."

RATS - noun. Entitled power or privilege.
Usage: "We Southerners are willin' to fat for are rats."

FARN - adjective. Not local.
Usage: "I cuddint unnerstand a wurd he sed....mus' be from
some farn country."

DID - adjective. Not alive.
Usage: "He's did, Jim."

EAR - noun. A colorless, odorless gas: Oxygen.
Usage: "He cain't breathe....give 'im some ear!"

BOB WAR - noun. A sharp, twisted cable.
Usage: "Boy, stay away from that bob war fence."

JEW HERE - Noun and verb contraction.
Usage: "Jew here that my brother from Jawjuh got a job with
that bob war fence cump'ny?"

HAZE - a contraction.
Usage: "Is Bubba smart?" "Nah....haze ignert. He ain't thanked
but a minnit 'n 'is laf."

SEED - verb, past tense of "to see".

VIEW - contraction: verb and pronoun.
Usage: "I ain't never seed New York City....view?"

GUMMIT - Noun. A bureaucratic institution.
Usage: "Them gummit boys shore are ignert."
 
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