Finally, some sound advice from the internet

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The guy's side of the story. We all hear "the rules" from the female side, now here are the rules from the Man side. Please note, these are all numbered "1" on PURPOSE. 1. Men are NOT mind readers. (FIRST & FOREMOST RULE) 1. Learn to work the toilet seat. You're a big girl. If it's up, put it down. We need it up, you need it down. You don't hear us complaining about you leaving it down. 1. Sunday sports: It's like the full moon or the changing of the tides. Let it be. 1. Crying is blackmail 1. Ask for what you want. Let us be clear on this: Subtle hints do not work! Strong hints do not work! Obvious hints do not work! Just say it! 1. Yes and No are perfectly acceptable answers to almost every question. 1. Come to us with a problem only if you want help solving it. That's what we do. Sympathy is what your girlfriends are for. 1. Anything we said 6 months ago is inadmissible in an argument. In fact, all comments become NULL and VOID after 7 days. 1. If you think you're fat, you probably are. Do not ask us. 1. If something we said can be interpreted two ways, and one of the ways makes you sad or angry, we meant the other one. 1. You can either ask us to do something, OR tell us how you want it done. Not both. If you already know the best way to do it, just do it yourself. 1. Whenever possible, please say whatever you have to say during commercials. 1. Christopher Columbus did NOT need directions, and neither do we. 1. ALL men see in only 16 colors, like Windows default settings. Peach, for example, is a fruit, not a color. Pumpkin is also a fruit. We have no idea what mauve is. 1. If it itches, it will be scratched. We do that. 1. If we ask what is wrong, and you say "nothing", we will act like nothing's wrong. We know you are lying, but it is just not worth the hassle. 1. If you ask a question you don't want an answer to, expect an answer you don't want to hear. 1. When we have to go somewhere, absolutely anything you wear is fine.....REALLY. 1. Don't ask us what we are thinking about, unless you are prepared to discuss such topics as Football or Hockey. 1. You have enough clothes. 1. You have too many shoes. 1. I am in shape. Round IS a shape ! 1. Thank you for reading this. Yes, I know, I have to sleep on the couch tonight..........but did you know men really don't mind that? It's like camping.
 
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On the fat comments: No, those pants do not make you look fat. Its your big rear end that makes you look fat!
 
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 Originally Posted By: fsskier
On the fat comments: No, those pants do not make you look fat. Its your big rear end that makes you look fat!
Words spoken prior to a few nights sleeping on the couch!!
 
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''We have no idea what mauve is.'' I was once given a mauve arm band for my Habitat for Humanity crew to recognize me. I asked, how are they going to know who I am.
 

Kestas

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I had a wise man once tell me to just accept the fact that all women are out of their minds. Once that thought sunk in, things started to make sense.
 
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 Originally Posted By: Kestas
I had a wise man once tell me to just accept the fact that all women are out of their minds. Once that thought sunk in, things started to make sense.
Was that wise man a blind guy with extrememely hairy hands and arthritic wrists?
 
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I saw a bumper sticker a while ago. Men are from Earth Women are from Earth get over it.
 
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