Famous Cricket Sledges

Canberra ACT Australia
You don't have to understand the game to appreciate the underlying humour in these famous sledges I was emailed today. 1. Rod Marsh & Ian Botham: When Botham took guard in an Ashes match, Marsh welcomed him to the wicket with the immortal words: "So how's your wife & my kids?" 2. Robin Smith & Merv Hughes: During 1989 Lords Test, Hughes said to Smith after he played & missed: "You can't f*cking bat". Smith to Hughes after he smacked him to the boundary: "Hey Merv, we make a fine pair. I can't f*cking bat & you can't f*cking bowl." 3. Merv Hughes & Javed Miandad: During 1991 Adelaide Test, Javed called Merv a fat bus conductor. A few balls latter Merv dismissed Javed: "Tickets please", Merv called out as he ran past the departing batsman. 4. Merv Hughes & Viv Richards: During a test match in the West Indies, Hughes didn't say a word to Viv, but continued to stare at him after deliveries. "This is my island, my culture. Don't you be staring at me. In my culture we just bowl." Merv didn't reply, but after he dismissed him he announced to the batsman: "In my culture we just say f*ck off." 5. Ian Healy & Arjuna Ranatunga Healy's legendary comment which was picked up by the Channel Nine microphones when Ranatunga called for a runner on a particularly hot night during a one dayer in Sydney... "You don't get a runner for being an overweight, unfit, fat c*nt!!!" 6. Shane Warne & Daryll Cullinan: As Cullinan was on his way to the wicket, Warne told him he had been waiting two years for another chance to humiliate him. "Looks like you spent it eating," Cullinan retorted. (Warnie was a bit chubby there for a while) 7. Glenn McGrath & Eddo Brandes: After Brandes played & missed at a McGrath delivery, the Aussie bowler politely enquired: "Oi, Brandes, why are you so fat?" "Cos every time I f*ck your wife she gives me a biscuit," Brandes replied. 8. Ricky Ponting & Shaun Pollock: After going past the outside edge with a couple of deliveries, Pollock told Ponting: "It's red, round & weighs about 5 ounces." Unfortunately for Pollock, the next ball was hammered out of the ground. Ponting to Pollock: "You know what it looks like, now go find it." One other, although not really a sledge. Merv Hughes was playing for Australia against a South African provincial side during a tour to SA. Hansie Cronje was facing him on a totally flat deck and belting fours and sixes from every one of Hughes' overs. After Cronje hit Hughes for six for about the 8th time, Big Merv ran down the pitch, let out a huge **** and said "Try and hit that for six". It was about 5 minutes before everyone was composed enough to continue the game.