Ever Wonder?

MolaKule

Staff member
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Iowegia - USA
Did you ever wonder... Who was the first person to look at a cow and say, "I think I'll squeeze these dangly things here, and drink whatever comes out?" Who was the first person to say "See that chicken there....I'm gonna eat the next thing that comes outta its butt." Why do toasters always have a setting that burns the toast to a horrible crisp, which no decent human being would eat? Why is there a light in the fridge and not in the freezer? If Jimmy cracks corn and no one cares, why is there a song about him? If the professor on Gilligan's Island can make a radio out of a coconut, why can't he fix a hole in a boat? Why do people point to their wrist when asking for the time, but don't point to their crotch when they ask where the bathroom is? Why does your OB-GYN leave the room when you get undressed if they are going to look up there anyway? Why does Goofy stand erect while Pluto remains on all fours? They're both dogs! What do you call male ballerinas? If Wile E. Coyote had enough money to buy all that Acme crap, why didn't he just buy dinner? If quizzes are quizzical, what are tests? If corn oil is made from corn, and vegetable oil is made from vegetables, then what is baby oil made from? If electricity comes from electrons, does morality come from morons? Is Disney World the only people trap operated by a mouse? Why do the Alphabet song and Twinkle, Twinkle Little Star have the same tune? Do illiterate people get the full effect of Alphabet Soup? Did you ever notice that when you blow in a dog's face, he gets mad at you, but when you take him on a car ride, he sticks his head out the window? Does pushing the elevator button more than once make it arrive faster?
 
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336
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White House, TN USA
quote:
Originally posted by MolaKule: Why does Goofy stand erect while Pluto remains on all fours? They're both dogs!
Goofy is a horse! Look at the horse collar he's wearing! Good grief, you kids...! [Roll Eyes]
 
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13,132
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By Detroit
[/qb][/QUOTE]Goofy is a horse! Look at the horse collar he's wearing! Good grief, you kids...! [Roll Eyes] [/QB][/QUOTE] No kidding? I have to pull out my kids' old storybooks and look. I always thought he was a dog.
 
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175
Location
Wellington, Florida
I found this: Is Goofy A Dog? orignally published 03/02/01 It seems that whenever there is a major crisis in the world, I get this impulsive urge to debate the less meaningful issues of the day with my family and friends. Call it withdrawal or an unexplainable irrational distraction if you will, but it seems to work wonders for my temperament. And so it was during the recent election recount here in Florida. I grew so tired of hearing the jokes about how dumb Florida voters were. I became weary of stories of how they could watch twenty Bingo cards at one time, but not understand the meaning of a circle with an arrow pointing at it. And so I searched for a distraction. And before long, one came to me. I began a look for the answer to a question that had been burning inside me since I was just a kid. I deliberated the weightiest of disturbing suspicions: Is my favorite cartoon character, Goofy, really a dog? Engaging anyone who'd give me a moment on the subject, I found several friends and family who would humor me while I pondered how Walt Disney - the person, not the company - must have stayed up those many late nights of his early years as an illustrator, coming up with the Goofy character for his cartoons. Inserting this controversial curmudgeon into his storytelling was a stroke of genius. Goofy's controversy centers around the fact that Disney already had a dog, Pluto, in his comic strip. So what on earth did he need with another dog? It became a month long odyssey for me, and it was all consuming - just what I needed to take me away from this post-election crisis. Now, after a great deal of investigation of what might seem to some like a total waste of time, I have uncovered a very interesting revelation: Disney never created Goofy as a dog. Mickey is a mouse, yes - so is Minnie. Donald is a duck and so are the nephews. Pluto is a dog, but Goofy is - well, humor me for just a moment and let me expand upon my findings. Just what is Goofy? My search uncovered ample evidence that Goofy is not a dog. Consider these bits of evidence and then you decide: If Goofy were a dog, don't you think Disney would have had him bark once in awhile? Pluto barks all the time. Why doesn't Goofy? Goofy talks. He has conversations with Mickey and Minnie. They talk about just about everything that you and I would talk about. Goofy shops. I remember one time when the famous Mouse asked him to go to the drug store to get some strong cough syrup when Mickey was down with the flu. Now, a St. Bernard might be able to fetch a newspaper. And a beagle might retrieve a duck for a hunter. But, a dog goes to a pharmacy, gets medicine off the shelf and then pays for it? Not a chance. Goofy stands upright and walks around on two feet. If he were a dog, don't you think he'd be down on all fours, prancing around like Pluto. Why doesn't Goofy do that? And what about the hat? Goofy wears a hat. Dogs don't do that. And Goofy not only wears a hat - he wears clothes. Pants, shirts and shoes - he has an entire wardrobe! Why, he's a living advertisement for the Walmart Menswear Department. Well then, it turns out that Goofy isn't so goofy after all, is he? In fact, the contrast between Pluto and Goofy is so startling that the very existence of Pluto proves the point. Can you see them standing next to each other. If you saw them out in your driveway right now, wouldn't you be able to tell which of them wasn't the dog? Can't you see that it would have to be Goofy bent over and petting Pluto, and not the other way around? Now, what dog would do that to another dog? And Goofy has had a lot of jobs. One time he was a bus driver. Another time he was a cab driver. He drives, for Pete's sake. Pluto doesn't do that. He chases buses and cabs. He doesn't drive them. And what about the fingers? Goofy has fingers! Like all the Disney characters except Pluto, he has three on each hand. Please notice, I said, "hand." Dogs don't have fingers and they don't have hands! Take a look at Pluto. He's got paws. How much easier can this get? And when he eats - Goofy sits at the table like most normal folks and uses a knife and a fork - and napkins. Pluto has a dish on the kitchen floor and Mickey puts Dog Chow in it. Pluto hasn't the faintest idea how to use a fork or a knife. He gobbles his food like any dog would. But the crowning item of proof, the piece de resistance that I discovered just the other day in my long and tedious search for a resolution to this smoldering inquiry, came in the mail. In a letter addressed to me from the U.S. Census Bureau Branch Office in Tallahassee, written in response to my request for information on Goofy, I was informed that "he presently lives in a house in Palm Beach and may have actually voted in the presidential election last year." In fact it says his entire family lives there in a little beach house with an ocean view - they all may have voted. You know, I'll just bet they know how to watch twenty bingo cards, too. So what is Goofy? Well, I know one thing for certain. Dogs don't vote, and so Goofy is not a dog. If it's good enough for the U.S. Census Bureau, it's good enough for me.
 
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