Did you help your adult children buy their first house ?

[Dave Hess]

I was reading the ‘Living Wage’ thread and was wondering how many BITOG members helped their adult children buy their first home ?

We gave our 3 adult children (mid 20’s) a cash gift towards the down payment for their first house.

Their mortgage payment is the approx the same for a decent apartment in the city where they are living.

 

[OVERKILL]

I was reading the ‘Living Wage’ thread and was wondering how many BITOG members helped their adult children buy their first home ?

We gave our 3 adult children (mid 20’s) a cash gift towards the down payment for their first house.

Their mortgage payment is the approx the same for a decent apartment in the city where they are living.

My parents lent each of us (four kids) $40-50K for a downpayment that they expected back on the first renewal. For us, that was close to 20 years ago now. We are considering doing the same for our three. Some of this money was the result of the sale of my grandparent's estate on my mom's side. My parent's estate is worth considerably more, and there are fewer kids.

 

[MasterSolenoid]

Edit: misread question .... but 'my' parents gave NO assistance / and I was always ok with that.
My first car .... NO
My Auto insurance .... NO
My First house .... Damm NO

When I was in High School (working part-time), I paid my parents Monthly for room & board.
I never minded / I was a saver at age 12 .... (bought my first bow & arrow set)
Today at age 65, I consider myself frugal (and happy).

 

[paulswagelock]

We bought all our kids new cars to go off into adulthood with.
Only one has pursued purchasing his first house, and yes, we offered a nice cash gift to cover the down payment.

 

[stangguy]

First car, bought them for them, but they were only a few hundred dollars back then, and as a mechanic, I could keep it running and safe cheap.
First house, yes we helped greatly, but was mostly paid back till wife said we got enough.

 

[fordfan22]

first car ...yes
first house ...yes
let my son be on my auto insurance for about 3 years.

when my son got his license at 16 i added him to my insurance & i also added him as authorized user on many of my credit card accounts. this gave im a significant fico boost/head start. when he turned 19 i paid 10% down & co signed his first auto loan. at 22 i gave him and his wife a large down payment to get them in their first home. ive worked hard and saved since i was a kid. im thankful i was able to help.

 

[Oliveoil2]

Yes to first car, yes to collage and yes to first house. Their on their own and doing well now.

My parents and myself: no to first car, no to collage and no to first house.

 

[Freischneider]

I never got anything free in my life I always had to work for it. I started working in landscaping with my father at 10 years old and I bought everything that I have to this day.

 

[Freischneider]

And I might add there are way too many people out there with the entitlement attitude. I will give my kids some money but they have to work for it and do things around the house.

 

[UncleDave]

I was reading the ‘Living Wage’ thread and was wondering how many BITOG members helped their adult children buy their first home ?

We gave our 3 adult children (mid 20’s) a cash gift towards the down payment for their first house.

Their mortgage payment is the approx the same for a decent apartment in the city where they are living.

Yes - we kicked a few bones to help with the down...and
We also helped jump start them with basic necessities at the new place.
We provided labor for pre move in renovations like bathroom upgrades backsplash stuff like that.

Nothing obscene, just a little help. Kids covered 90/10.

If the kids were douchbags they'd have gotten zip, but they were awesome.

I didnt get squat from my parents.

 

[doitmyself]

My story is more closer to MasterSolenoid above: car, college, home - no help for me, a small amount for our kids. We helped (and continue) with a fair amount of time input. Of course we helped with small things. Our kids lived at home cost free while attending community college. They provided most of their own college funding, with a healthy dose of scholarships found by my wife (amazing what's available). We assist funding our grandkids on good things like music lessons, horse lessons, school activities (cheer squad, science, etc..).

I also feel no obligation to develop a huge nest egg to give them after I die. Again, we spend lots of time with them and assist baby sitting, etc..

 

[Oliveoil2]

Yes to first car, yes to collage and yes to first house. Their on their own and doing well now.

My parents and myself: no to first car, no to collage and no to first house.

Crap I hate spell check! “They’re” in their own. And “college” not “collage”

 

[fordfan22]

its been 5 yrs since i helped them with their first house. they are still living there and lead a good life. right now the best thing i do to provide the most help is babysitting my 2yr old grandson. lots of hugs, lots of playtime, lots of naps... but nothing quite like the sound of him saying pawpaw... that is just the best thing ever.

 

[PWMDMD]

My oldest is only 16 but I don't see this happening. I've been telling the kids since they were 5 to study hard in school because sooner or later this gravy train comes to end. If they go to a state school we will cover all of their college cost but if they go private they will have some skin in the game. Not a debilitating amount of debt but some skin. My inlaws have millions and it never occurred to either of us that they would give us a downpayment. I feel good and accomplished that I am responsible for my life and the home I've provided my family.

 

[Skippy722]

My parents didn’t help financially as I didn’t need it, but they helped with the process and moving. They did help by co-signing when I bought my first car shortly after I turned 18 though.

I’ll help my kids out if I’m able too, but I still have quite a few years before that’s even a thought lol. They’ll likely be on their own for college tuition if they go down that path though, we’re a single income family with 4 boys. They’re more than welcome to stay home rent free and use our vehicles while going to school however, but I do expect them to help out with insurance and gas.

 

[Passport1]

No. I paid for his college education and told him that was the end of my parental obligation. He has done very well and married a woman with a medical background that probably easily exceeds his income. I never earned nearly what they take in. They should take care of me someday. They bought and sold two houses already.

No failure to launch without much help.

 

[Timmastertech]

My Dad gave me my first car and told me that if I wanted to drive it I had to build an engine for it. Got a crankshaft kit for my birthday that year and other parts for christmas. Also gained an in depth understanding of how to build an engine and I do a fair amount of internal engine repair today. I went to a private college for my degree and it was paid for either by scholarships, grants, or loans that I and only I have repaid. Biggest gift I have gotten was half of the family business when my grandfather passed away which I have busted my butt to build for the last 11 years.

 

[supton]

Wife’s parents paid for part of her college. Me, I didn’t get anything but loans. After college I got to pay for school, cars and then our house. No help from parents. Didn’t bother me.

My kids will likely get their first cars from me, whatever beaters I can find. Not planning on helping with school, especially not with home buying. Maybe if I win the lotto (that I don’t play) I would. I think my situation is different than my parents, but I also want the kids to own their schooling. Hard to say what I will do, I think the world has changed a bit over the years. But I’ll be very happy if they step up to the plate and own it - i’m just worried that they might get in over their heads if not careful.

 

[raaizin]

We have 2 adult children one is a nurse(28 years) and the other is a speech pathologist(27 years). Neither have student loans but will need assistance to purchase a house near us which we will provide in the very near future as both are starting the process of trying to find something in this crazy market. Both will need help with the down payent. Both are waiting till after January to see if the market settles as we tend to think we are at or near the top. We will give them but will ensure we wont hurt ourselves financially. I would rather help them when I am alive rather than when I am dead.

 

[ecotourist]

I didn't get a lot from my parents; they weren't well off and my needs weren't great. They paid about 2/3 of the costs for my first year at university and 10 - 20% of my second year, then nothing after that. I had good summer jobs and won scholarships that paid for the rest. They did give me their 12 year old car (still in good running order) half way through med school when my Mercury Comet became unreliable.

We've given our daughter quite a lot. She lived at home for her first 3 years of university. And when she completed her second degree, we paid off half of her student loans. For every dollar she paid off we paid another one. We gave her an older but still good running Toyota Celica, and later gave her our Toyota Solara when her car became unreliable.

We didn't actually give or loan her any money to buy her first house, but since then we have given her and her partner a large gift and an even larger forgivable loan that pays zero % interest, to pay down the mortgage. We thought it was better for them to buy a house they could afford, and then help pay it off. A large part of our "gift" is structured as a loan because relationships don't always last these days and we wanted it to be clear if there is ever a break-up that it's our daughter's money.