deathbed instructions

[tweeker43]

Miriam was dying and on her deathbed, she gave final instructions to her husband Sidney.

"Sidney, you've been so good to me all these years. I know you never even thought about another woman. But now that I'm going, I want you to marry again as soon as is possible and I want you to give your new wife all my expensive clothes."

"I can't do that, darling," Sidney said. "You're a size 16 and she's only a 10."

 

[k1xv]

My favorite deathbed story involves the agnostic old fellow who is not sure where he will wind up after death. His only fear is poverty in the hereafter, if there is a hereafter.

So he calls his three sons to his deathbed, and asks them to each put $5000 in his casket so that, no matter where he winds up, he will not be broke.

Dad dies, and after the funeral, the three sons meet. First son says, I put 50 one hundred dollar bills in the casket. Did you two do the same?

Second son nods, saying that he slipped in $5000 cash as well.

Third son reaches in his pocket, produces $10,000 which he gives back to his two brothers, and announces.. "I wasn't sure if cash would be accepted wherever Dad is going....so I took out the money and left Dad my American Express Card. Its accepted everywhere".

 

[MAJA]

Thats similar to the one about the old rich guy making his wife promise she would put $100,000 in his casket with him when he died. She did follow his wishes, but instead of cash, she mad out a check for $100,000 and kept the cash..........