deathbed instructions

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Jun 1, 2002
Miriam was dying and on her deathbed, she gave final instructions to her husband Sidney. "Sidney, you've been so good to me all these years. I know you never even thought about another woman. But now that I'm going, I want you to marry again as soon as is possible and I want you to give your new wife all my expensive clothes." "I can't do that, darling," Sidney said. "You're a size 16 and she's only a 10."
My favorite deathbed story involves the agnostic old fellow who is not sure where he will wind up after death. His only fear is poverty in the hereafter, if there is a hereafter. So he calls his three sons to his deathbed, and asks them to each put $5000 in his casket so that, no matter where he winds up, he will not be broke. Dad dies, and after the funeral, the three sons meet. First son says, I put 50 one hundred dollar bills in the casket. Did you two do the same? Second son nods, saying that he slipped in $5000 cash as well. Third son reaches in his pocket, produces $10,000 which he gives back to his two brothers, and announces.. "I wasn't sure if cash would be accepted wherever Dad is I took out the money and left Dad my American Express Card. Its accepted everywhere".
Thats similar to the one about the old rich guy making his wife promise she would put $100,000 in his casket with him when he died. She did follow his wishes, but instead of cash, she mad out a check for $100,000 and kept the cash..........
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